Poor Canucks (poor Monkey): The Jeremiads

For those disinclined to the greatest playoff spectacle on Earth, the Stanley Cup, read no more. Otherwise, enjoy (?) the lamentations of Vancouver...


What a friggin' meltdown last night by the Vancouver Canucks, the MonkeyGirl's Second City, and her adopted NHL franchise. To call it a choke job, heartless, soft hockey would be not only too easy, but too kind by half.

And the fans, Jesus, they just cemented their status as the NHL's worst...nouveau riche d'bags with no real attachment to the game, much less the team.

Glad to see that the fans also can't hit a wide-open shot.

The meltdowns are in full-scale apocalypse mode this morning:

My thoughts on that beer and the money given to Luongo, what a waste. But now that the Canucks are done Sami Salo can rest his devastated testicles

i live in vancouver, i still remember we were calling out the hawks in first round playoff. I was think what happen if they beat us again. i guess we just got what we deserve. When our "home" team lost all 3 "home" games. I can't find a damn word to express my feeling.  

I'd like to see you stay until the end of that if it was your team. I couldn't even stay in the bar until the end of the 3rd, I got fed up waiting for my server and went straight up to the till so I could get out before the final horn. No words really to describe this right now. I suppose I should be happy that I can spend my evenings on the beach instead of inside watching TV. In every sense except hockey I'm glad I live in Vancouver. 

Call me a bandwagon or not true fan or whatever but I’m done being kicked in the balls rooting for my hapless teams.

Not his fault….SHG. SH f*^king G. I don’t care who is out there in front of him but handling a breakout like that is his goddamn business. My Luongo jersey is moving to a very deep and dark place for a very long time.

My thoughts on who's the biggest goatfucker tonite:
1: Pavol Demitra. You useless bag of no try antiwin
2: Bieksa before that fat cheap shot fuck injured Edler (although he was pretty good after)
3: Luongo for goal 4 and 5. Way to suck the life out of a comeback. Assmonkey
4: Alain Vigneault for not dressing the 7th defenseman knowing salo was half.

Unlike others who attempt to wish our adversaries well – I hope they suffer devastating injuries that ruin the rest of their short (and poorly paid) careers, develop rare and extremely serious diseases for which there is no cure (or at least have many attempts that continually fall short), and ultimately be given ice cream while in the hospital that gives them food poisoning that leads to surgery removing most of their intestines and leaves them with a colostomy bag for the rest of their lives.

Every single fucking season. This team does not elevate their play in the playoffs. Every season. 3 of those goals should not have been let in by Lu. Lu stops those like he is supposed to, and its 2-1. But I can’t even blame him for this loss. If it wasn’t for him it would be 8-1 by now. Ive said it before, and I’ll say it again. This team does not elevate their play during the playoffs. WHY? Is it only to torment me? Wellfed is the only one who showed up to play hockey today. Fuck our lives. Another year down the drain, because highly paid athletes that are supposed to have learned from last year, cannot wake the fuck up and play like they want it.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the years of this, but I’m no longer depressed. What has happened to me!?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat.

 Yep, pretty much like this...all series. Here's to next year...


1 comment:

  1. BlueHost is one of the best web-hosting company with plans for all of your hosting needs.