Mahalo: have some boobs

Going on a week hiatus to the Big Island to work out financial details for becoming an equity partner in real estate litigation (which, as I've neglected to tell you, is my specialty...bad houses; title problems; commercial dealings gone awry, and the like).

This is really the only thing I want, nay need, at this point. So, I'll be pretty focused. But, I will rejoin you next Friday morning, where I will undoubtedly be jetlagged as all hell.

Be good kids, and, for your reward, have some Cosplay sexy :)

Dear Santa, I've been very good this year. This is ALL I want in my stocking: A pretty, dorky girl with great breasts...


Most unfortunate name ever...

Oh, my.

Wednesday has got it's nose to the grindstone...

In that spirit, let's have a little grindcore. Dying Fetus's "Homicidal Retribution". FYI: If you like this, check out the incomparably brutal release "Destroy the Opposition". Of course the lyrics are silly and cheesy, and the politics are atrocious; but, it is still pretty brutal stuff. (See below for these wordsmiths).
Now, back to the grind.

Lyrics go now:
Lost my faith in justice
Time does not heal this pain
Defiled my existence
Recurring nightmare
There's no consolation
The awful memories
Constant mind coercion
Instinctive vengeance
I have nothing left to loose now
Only time, regret and anger
Pain to last a hundred lifetimes
Hatred burning, love extinct
Compound insult of bullshit humanism
Misplaced rights, inflame my rage
Vacant cause, offender the victim
Fuck that worthless piece of shit
As long as you live on this earth
Rage unsatisfied
Memories dishonored
Giving hardened criminals
Preferential treatment
Settlement, live in prison
Better than you deserve
Jury of your peers, unable to do the job
Obliged by procedure, evidence examination
Now I'm coming for you, there will be no mistrial
Citizen retaliation, the mode of your demise
Moral speculation, some other poor bastard's life
The system has fucked up, left this hollow void
There will be no comfort, this sickness is terminal
Semblance of justice, infuriating lies
Lies arquitted, guilt answered, you will not escape
Cold, my revenge and my blood
Hate, nothing can stop it now
Death, the only end I accept
Hell, punishment I require
Curse, execrate, I must kill
Pain, I inflict merciless
Scream, piercing cries, agony
You should have pled guilty or killed yourself
Unshakable conviction, is all I have to live for
Excruciating terror, the violations you delight in
Useless human excrement, you deserve a life of shit
Make you suffer ruthlessness, I cannot relinquish the honor
Soul I condemn, fucking dead
Nothing will ever be made right again
The path of damnation I hasten you on my way
Every day you lived from then is one more day you owe me
If killing you destroys myself, I wouldn't have it any other way
Fine line between honor and horror, my every action justified
Innocence destroyed, needs anguish to cleanse impurity
Temporary insanity, obeys a singular purpose
Your death row is here and now, the only righteous ending
Die and die again, as I cut and mutilate
You are fucking worthless, I don't give a fuck about you
Blood your insides spayed, placates my hostility
End my days a killer, stripped of everything that mattered



You know you want to talk about porn...


You like sex. I like sex. We all like sex. What we really need is some meaningful research on the matter. 

My little brother is working in his MA/PHD research and REALLY needs some anonymous folks to answer innocuous questions about online porn.

Help him out here: takes about 5-7 minutes. Password is "Che".

Pissing matches make great beer...

I want THIS BEER: Sink The Bismarck.

Want a $60 bottle of beer? I do.

Some enterprising young brewers in Scotland have been in a pissing match with their Teutonic brethren in Germany to create the world's strongest beer. BrewDog, first manufactured a beverage topping in at a fantastic 18.2 abv., to claim the title from a Germany brew. To manufacture a beer that was 1/5th alcohol, made the Scottish government label BrewDog as "irresponsible".

Wait until they get a load of this shit.

Pic absolutely unrelated, but if it makes fun of Nazis, we can all agree it's funny.
BTW: A LOT funnier if you say it out loud :) 

Germans, not to be outdone, introduced their holy shit 40% abv concoction Bock under the Schorschbrau label. After first being labeled irresponsible (and creating the "Nanny State" brew), BrewDog came back with an internet only beverage called Sink the Bismarck. How strong is it? A liver-pickling 41.2% ABV brew. This, of course, set off the Scottish officials:

"Over the past few months BrewDog have continued to produce stronger and stronger beers. By commenting on this irresponsible brewing practice we only serve to add to their marketing and therefore we have no further comment to make."

Yep, that's the general reaction around Scotland.

The whole fantastic pissing match story can be found here. However, I think BrewDog's informed consent best demonstrates the caution with which we should show their latest creation:

It is important that you be careful with this beer and show it the same amount of sceptical, tentative respect you would show an international chess superstar, clown or gypsy  

That's just pure fucking win, right there lads.


How can you NOT love America?

Seriously. There is a reason we lag behind damned near every other industrialized nation in science education. When local schools are ran by local boobs with some weird theological axe to grind, and the average kid is more concerned with Halo or Modern Warfare than achievement, this is the kind of shit you get....

Once again; I love America...

Tuesday is getting VERY excited

Not about love, just about getting the fuck out of the cold for a week. Hawai'i in just a few days, kids. While there, will be meeting with my future employer, going to dinners, bar meetings, house hunting, volcano-climbing, beach sitting. It's going to be wonderful.

I hope!


Daleks are soooo sexy

But, you knew that already. Here's former Doctor Companion, Katy Manning (Jo) at the late 60's peak of Dalek loving...

Awesome. Just awesome.


To heal a broken heart...

You sucked HOW MANY dicks?!
(Thank you, Kevin Smith) 

One of the worst things about breakups is the "freedom price", roughly defined as all the material possessions and goods that are in the hands of the ex; whether they are appropriating the goods, it's by consensual agreement, or -more often the case- you just don't want to deal with the pain/awkwardness/restraining order of having to see them again.

Ummm, yea, I think I left some stuff over at your place. No, just keep it or throw it away. Whatevs.

Well, there is a performance artist in NYC who takes care of that for you...The Death Bear. According to the Death Bear's website:
“We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come.
“Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever, allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex’s clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak and loss.”

Sure, it's a great idea, but ummm...
 Didn't you kill Mozart in that "Amadeus" movie?!

This really does strike me as an awesome idea. Most people don't thrive on confrontation, and certainly most people don't like the awkward and damned painful first encounter when a relationship ends. It's as though everything the past months or years have just slowly drained out from beneath you like quicksand. You need time to regain your footing, to take stock. And, if the Death Bear helps in the healing, bravo to him, and to those brave enough to soldier on.

Viva healing.

No, you can't put it back together again, but you can go on. Trust me.

To read more on the Death Bear, as well as the positive impact it has had on people's lives, check out this little nugget from MSNBC.


Steampunk can be pretty damned awesome

Yeah, it's getting kinda' cliched, but sometimes I'm still awed by the fascinating steam punk creations that people make. As my friend Jeanne told me, "I could really get into this whole steam punk thing if I had the money". And, I imagine it takes a lot of money for this Datamancer project: The steam punk laptop.

This is a closed version of the laptop.

This is just stunning. Better yet, see what he did with the keyboard.

Victorian area stained-glass set in bronze and brass , with a braided brass cording. But the VERY coolest are the keys themselves.

That's just unfathomably cool. 

Anyway, go pay him a visit, and look at the laptop especially, including quill/inkpot stylus for the tablet. I have no idea how he can get this thing on an airplane, but the artistry is just amazing.

Monday has very little of a certain commodity

Joe Jackson's "Time" as covered by Anthrax....Amazing how such an arbitrary concept such as time, nothing more than the expression of quantum processes, can completely dominate our lives.

Lyrics go now:
Wake up,
got another day to get.
Through now,
got another man to see.
Gotta call him on the telephone, way-o.
Gotta find a piece of paper.
Sit down, got another letter to write.
Think hard,
gotta get a letter just right.
Little ringing on the telephone, wo no.
Gotta write another letter.

No such thing as tomorrow.
All we want...
(two three go!)
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Ticking in my head
Ticking in my head
Ticking in my head

If I tell you what i'm doing today,
will you shutup and get out of my way?
Someone asked me what the time is,
I don't know.
Only know I gotta go now.
No time,
tryin' to get a watch repaired.
No time, never got a thing to wear.
Little ringing on the telephone, wo no.
Hear a ringing in my head now

No such thing as tomorrow.
All we want...
(two three go!)
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick tick ticking in my head
Ticking in my head
Ticking in my head
Ticking in my head

No such thing as tomorrow.
All we want...
(two three go!)
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Ticking in my head
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Got the time tick, tick, tickin' in my head.
Ticking in my head
Ticking in my head
   Ticking in my head!   



This week's Internet win

Of the hundreds of images I've come across this week, I've selected the below as the winner of the Internet. Asatru practitioners, rejoice.

To know Thor is to know peace...one Mjolnir-smiting at a time.

Sunday wants you to be my Valentine

Damn, I forgot how much I liked old "My Bloody Valentine's". Today, is my anniversary of sorts, and it's odd b/c it just feels like another day when you're broke ;)