Third Saturday Funny as Hell

From LawVol at 3SIB
Nick Saban on the Lane Kiffin Show

Now, the Bama response...
Lane Kiffin on the Nick Saban Show.

Administrative Miscellany

As I grumbled about earlier this month, Blogger overhauled the XHTML for its hosting, meaning that there were some site-related issues on the template that I modified. It's taken about a week, but I think I finally have things a bit easier to navigate. Among some changes --and new stuff-- to the site are the following:
  • Updated the script, so hopefully the vids and images will be easier to read, and won't get chopped out of the template.
  • Speaking of pictures; you can now click on items to view a larger or full resolution image, where applicable.
  • Went to all-serif fonts to improve readability
  • Updated the Blog Roll. There is some good stuff there -some funny, some random, some deadly serious- so check 'em out.
  •  Added a visitor map, so that you can see where we're at.
  • Finally, added some public service ads. This isn't a money-making venture...so any off-site ads you click on are for good causes or non-profits. Any funds made off of this catharsis-in-256-colors will be donated to charity, with a contest TBD.
As always, thanks for dropping by. If there are lingering site issues, secret treasure maps or incessant voices in your head, drop me a tine: concave.scream@yahoo.com

Saturday Boom: Run through a wall edition

Today is going to turn out really well, or I will be despondent for a full year.
Roll Tide!


Say goodnight, Soupy.

Comedian Soupy Sales, who perfected slapstick and made pie-in-the-face an international gag, passed away today at the age of 83. Of all his jokes, I think he particularly would have enjoyed the ultimate irony that formed his early life:

Sales was born Milton Supman on Jan. 8, 1926, in Franklinton, N.C., where his was the only Jewish family in town. His parents, owners of a dry-goods store, sold sheets to the Ku Klux Klan. The family later moved to Huntington, W.Va.

Since the world has a few less laughs now than it did yesterday, I present one of the more famous (if not bizarre) sketches from the Soupy Sales Show...Soupy meets Alice Cooper

Requiem Aeternum, there big guy (1926-2009)

The Third Saturday in October...FEEL THE HATE

Tomorrow is the Third Saturday in October* That means two things. The first, is that I will be drinkng myself under the table; the second means that it's time for one of the South's oldest, and most intense, football rivalries: Alabama vs. Tennessee. How bad is it? The first time the two teams played, there was a riot at midfield and serious injuries after the game ended in a tie. For a balanced, respectful history of the rivalry, I direct you the the interesting concept blog: Third Saturday in Blogtober. 3SiB is hosted and written by intelligent and passionate Alabama and Tennessee fans, and is dedicated solely to this game. For fans of the history and meaningfulness behind this game, there is no finer place.

The Third Saturday game, and its history, could literally fill up volumes upon volumes...the players, the coaches, the national and conference stakes, the animus, the hard-hitting toughness and physicality that defines the teams, the players and the people of these states. For pure nastiness, and shit-talking about whose fans are more redneck, it doesn't get any better or meaner than Alabama-UT.

First up: Takes on Tennessee:

This dude is douchy...but appropriately dismissive. Kudos.

This is Tennessee getting their ass kicked last year to the UT fight song "Rocky Top". Besides Dueling Banjos, it's the only thing their band plays.

Documentary of a day in the life of Tennessee's governor.

You know it's bad when lil' kids from Kentucky even think that Tennessee is full of hillbillies.

Next up: Tennessee's Take on Alabama

Truth is better than parody: This is your typical Tennessee Volunteer fan**: An ill-educated, pun-master of suck; an Oakley-sporting, goateed, out-of-work-roofer; a cousin'-touchin' moonshiner; an OxyContin-snortin' trainwreck of humanity. Seriously, go to hell Tennessee...I hate you all with a passion unmatched by the flames from the sun or the untreated herpes you got from your sister-mom.

*I know it's the fourth Saturday, but after league expansion, they screwed the pooch on this one...
** I say "fan", because as everyone knows UT is not a university at all...it's a football team and their tutors. 

You know what's a bad ass? The UNC Mascot

So, I was perusing the damn-fine football blog EDSBS* this morning, and there was a posting from last night regarding the North Carolina-Florida State game.** Specifically, in the humorous preview of the game, there was a section discussing the respective mascots: for FSU, the Seminole; and, for UNC, the ram. Orson brought up something that I had completely forgotten:  Rameses XVIII got his current gig as mascot by killing his father.

Stop this pissed off sheep before it kills again.***

I did a little more reading on it, and I am just amazed at how little pub this mean-ass goat got. According to the good ole' Wiki, the Bighorn Sheep can weigh 300 pounds, with horns topping out at over 30 pounds. And, of course, they are known for their violent collisions with one another for dominance and mating. "Prior to the mating season or rut, the rams attempt to establish a dominance hierarchy that determines access to ewes for mating. It is during the prerut period that most of the characteristic horn clashing occurs between rams, although this behavior may occur to a limited extent throughout the year."

Does this look like the face of a killer? Actually, if it wants to get laid, it sure is.

It was during one of these dominance displays that Pablo a/k/a Rameses XVIII killed his sire, then-mascot Rameses the XVII. "Rameses and Pablo shared a field at Hogan's farm outside Carrboro. On April 13, they butted heads, as rams are occasionally wont. This particular collision was so jarring that it snapped off one of the older ram's horns. An infection set-in and despite the antibiotics, it wasn't enough. Rameses died 10 days later." Holy hell.

I decided to check out for myself some of these violent collisions, and I've decided that I'd rather break up a pit bull fight first****. These mean bastards use dirty tricks, hits from behinds, double-teams, kick each other in the balls, and blast one other with their double-layered skulls. Check out the Nat Geo video below...

Dominance displays, violence to get laid, tenacious...how is this different from us?

*Seriously, Spencer Hall (Orson Swindle) does a great job. Fine writing no matter the genre, and genuinely piss-your-pants funny.

** Immaterial to this post, but FSU stormed back from 18 points down and won 30-27, thus lining my pockets with lucre, as I had the 'Noles at a 2.5 point underdog. Whoot

*** Dear god, those balls are obscene...Someone get Rameses some boxers!

*** Once, while (potentially) breaking federal laws by hiking in a restricted area of the Badlands, a bighorn sheep blocked my way to the vehicle...staring at me, grunting/snorting and pawing the ground very agitatedly. Had a ewe not caught his eye, I think he would have charged me...I have never been so scared of animal, either before or since. Moral of the story? Some areas are labeled "Restricted" for a very good reason.

Irony, thy name is ammonite

I normally don't post religious stuff here because, like sexual hangups, religiosity is a learned behavior that is deeply personal, often embarrassing and occasionally criminal. However, sometimes reality cockpunches you so unexpectedly, that you just have to wipe the bile off the corner of your lips and acknowledge it.

Attention: This is reality speaking...

Today's virtual cockpunch comes from the "Damned if God Exists" atheist blog, and arrives via the Antequera Cathedral in Spain. If you look below in the marble flooring of the Cathedral, you find what looks to be a swirl-pattern there.

Hmmmm...My geology classes didn't teach me this...

That regular formation is not natural to the marble, but neither is it inexplicable. In fact, that beautiful nautilus shape is a very common formation: It is the fossilized imprint of an ancient marine creature called the Ammonite. Ammonites were sexually dimorphic ancestors to the modern chambered shellfish (cuttlefish, nautilus, squid etc) that existed at least 415 million years ago CE. No less than three times did they face extinction, over periods of hundreds of millions of years:

The first event occurred during the Permian (250 million years ago), where only 10% survived. These surviving species went on to flourish throughout the Triassic, however at the end of this period (206 million years ago) they faced near extinction, when all but one species survived. This event marked the end of the Triassic and the beginning of the Jurassic, during which time the number of ammonite species grew once more. The final catastrophe occurred at the end of the Cretaceous period when all species were annihilated and the ammonites became extinct. This event apparently coincided with the death of the dinosaurs.

If you think there is a divine plan, then you've gotta' admit it was around 415 million years ago.

For this little critter to appear in an ancient Catholic church tells me a lot. The first is --what most sane people know-- that ammonites are a helluva' lot older than 6,000 years.* The second is that their little fossilized remains take a decent polish.

The last thing is that God has one helluva' sense of humor!

*I'm pretty harsh to religion, but even I have to give credit to the Catholic Church, which has officially recognized the scientific fact of evolution. Their slightly mushy-headed Protestant cousins? Not so much...

Let's hear it for God's pull-my-finger to the "new earth creationists"!

Friday F'd Up: Deicide

Deicide. Need I say anything more? These guys are frightening as all hell because I do think, deep down, they very much believe in evil with a capital 'e', and have chosen to embrace it. Creepy video.


Humanity Giveth, Insurance Companies Taketh Away

Sigh. Leave it to an insurance company, specifically a "health" insurance company to completely fuck up my good vibe about humanity.

These are the University of Texas Cheerleaders; unbeknownst to them, they star in many of my better, and certainly more vivid, daydreams....Health Insurance Companies could fuck this up.

What have they done now, you ask? Is it deny health care coverage to a breast-feeding four month old because she's too fat? Naaah, they've one that one already...

Sorry, kiddo, it's a pre-existing condition because you're obese.

Could it be denying health insurance to a 22 month old baby because she's too skinny? Nope, they got to that one too...

I don't know squirt. Have you tried --I mean really tried-- the creatine powder?

What else could possibly be more evil than denying babies coverage because they don't fit the Goldilocks model of underwriting? Well, you could scratch your head (and your ass, for that matter) for a millenium and you would think of it...you couldn't think of it, because you are a human being. Seems the latest kick on the "pre-existing condition" bandwagon, is to --sit down when you read this one-- flat out deny rape victims health care coverage if they did, could or possibly ingested preventive HIV medications and/or other medications for sexually transmitted diseases.

It's okay, Aetna...her chromosomes were asking for it...it's they way they were amylased.

Read that again. As if the trauma, the shame, the lifetime of psychic injury, the stigma, the unholy-fucking-terror of possibly contracting a disease --all without fault-- were not enough...as if the the ever-horror of rape and sexual assualt were not enough...as if the the visceral hell of that moment, and every second spent replaying it, weren't enough, now the big boys have decided that, hell, it's a pre-existing condition. Even if there is never a manifestation of HIV or any other disease....

"If you put down on a form that you are or were taking anti-HIV drugs at any time, they [the insurance companies] are going to understand that you are or were in treatment for HIV, period," Pisano, the insurance companies' spokeswoman said. "That could be a factor in determining whether you get coverage....It's basically an automatic no."
Some women have contacted the Investigative Fund to say they were deemed ineligible for health insurance because they had a pre-existing condition as a result of a rape, such as post traumatic stress disorder or a sexually transmitted disease. Other patients and therapists wrote in with allegations that insurers are routinely denying long-term mental health care to women who have been sexually assaulted.

These people are fucking shameless. And this system is fucking broken so profoundly that razing the damned thing to the ground is the only option that will ever suffice and will ever treat health care as a human necessity instead of a goddamned luxury commodity. Fuckers.

Dear insurance company execs, you are now free to shuffle off this mortal coil in a manner calculated to be the most painful and without any hope of coverage. I understand being a congenital dickface is a pre-existing condition. Fuck you.

If this doesn't touch you, then you aren't human.

These hands hold all the power that we can handle, and more than we sometimes deserve...

Pic via NY Times, rights reserved.

I'm a pretty jaded bastard. My profession has built an ingrained misttrust of people, and has exposed me to the deepest underbelly of their motives and their capacity for evil and mendacity. However, sometimes I read something that sincerely touches me, and completely restores my faith in us, and in the human condition. 

Today was such an instance. This morning, while perusing the CNN on-line edition, a "fluff" article was linked under "Most Mailed" stories. It was entitled "Why Real Men DO Buy Flowers", and was -as you'd guess, about buying flowers for the woman you love. How to describe this little human interest piece? Powerful. Simply powerful. Here is an excerpt from John DeVore's piece...you owe it to yourself to read it all.

Most of what I know about women I learned from how my dad treated my mother. I'd be a better man if I followed his example more fastidiously, but I haven't, and that's partially why I've spent so many years driving relationships off of cliffs. But some lessons stick out.  

Theirs was a love affair that lasted four decades. He would sing to her in public, and she'd blush and beg for him to stop. They never seemed to tire of each others' gentle words. And 45 minutes after he died, on my mother's birthday, FedEx walked into the ICU with her present -- a fancy brand-name bag that escapes me, but that I'm pretty sure is sold in piles on the streets of New York.

While my mother was in a street fight with doctors (and a dependably cruel universe) for every dwindling minute of my dad's life, he had been sitting up in his hospital bed, buying her something he knew she'd love.

This touched something deep and visceral within me; it reached that part of my soul that carries still an infinite capacity for patience, for love, for the simple pleasure of sharing time. It reminded me that sometimes, though we be not gods, we can create whole universes by bringing a smile to our loved ones.


Thursday Insomnia: Ramones know how to fix that...

Classic Ramones tune, "I wanna' be sedated"

Among the many cool things I've done in my life, very few will compare to the time I saw these guys play live at the Sloss Furnace in Birmingham.* I was a 16 year old punk (although not a "punk" in the mohawk sense), and went with my brother and his friend Ross to the venue. Trouble, a quasi-deist, proto-doom/stoner** band opened up for them. It was an unreal experience, full of the sweaty excitement and frenetic energy that only rock and roll can deliver, and -for my buck- a better high than any drug --either before or since.

Bless ya' Joey (Jeffry Ross Hyman). Smoke one in the Great After Party for me...Aeternum Requiem (1951-2001)

The show ended, and we were waiting for our ride to show up. We had just smoked the last of our Marlboro Reds, as we were milling around near the tour buses. A few of the roadies were loading the stuff back onto the vans and buses, and who should we see? Joey-Fucking-Ramone, with his trademark dark sunglasses, long black hair, and cigarette dangling from his lips. So, rather than ask for an autograph, we did something which I think is far more in keeping with the spirit of the music and the go-to-hell rebellion of youth: We bummed a cigarette from the legend. He tossed us a Marlboro Light, to which we lit, and each took two ceremonial drags off of. That cigarette was extinguished and now is housed behind glass...one of the best memories of our youth, and a poignant reminder that it was the 1970s punks that grounded us after the hedonistic excesses of the 60s and 70s, and kept us grounded through yuppie, prick republican excesses of the 80s. To this day, no kid truly begins their experimentation with a big middle finger to the world without punk as a staple, or a cultural reference.


**Bonus Trouble video for ya! Trouble's seminal Psalm 9 title track. Any one who smoked as much pot and listened to as much Sabbath as I did, has to appreciate this...

* Birmingham was known as the Pittsburgh of the South for almost 90 years. Now, with the destruction of Pittsburgh's steel industry, that city is becoming the Birmingham of the North. The Sloss Furnace burned for over 90 years, before becoming an Historic National Landmark, which hosts civic events, concerts, even a (very good) haunted house. Also, just in case you wondered about the 'Ham's historic connection to steel, the outlying cities are named after steel, such as Irondale and Bessemer (after the Bessemer process). There is even a huge iron statue of the god Vulcan, which sits in the rolling Appalachian foothills of the town.

Pagan deities in the heart of the Bible Belt? I miss home...


Happy 10,000 hits! With fun stats!

The ten thousandth visitor just dropped by my little corner of the interwebs. That is simply amazing. This was a little hobby I started back at the end of January to amuse me and my girlfriend mainly...a chance to rant, vent, rage, share a few things I thought were funny, cool, dark and -in those rare circumstances- a chance to just emote and get things off my chest. Somehow, despite a three month absence, we've managed to hit 10,000 unique visitors in that span...and I'm not even selling shit! So, let's hear it for our shared depravity!

Now, as my present to you, and just for fun, here's the break down, both of infamous number 10,000 and overall:

  • As of this writing 10,003 folks have come through the door during Gothlaw's existence
  • 1,083 folks have come through the door this month
  • Representatives from all 50 states have made an appearance
  • Folks from 161 countries have paid a visit
  • 78% of you use Windows Vista
  • 5% of you are Linux people
  • 74% have Firefox
  • 11% are Safari peeps
  • 61% use 1024x monitor resolution
  • 6% receive updates via cell/sms service
  • 3% use an RSS feed for updating
  • 12% of my visitors are overseas
  • You guys REALLY like the Lotus Toilet, the Slap Chop and Sham Wow, Jessica Chobot, Scar, Goth/Nerd Girls, Kari Byron and smoking. What a coincidence, I do too!
Lucky No. 10,000
  • Came from London, UK
  • Stayed for 23 minutes
  • Arrived via the Fun Times Blog
  • Uses Windows Vista with FireFox 3.5
  • And has mobile browsing.

Thanks for dropping by! Together we can touch people and make the world a lil' creepier and darker place...one baby hand soap at a time!

Back to my soap box: Fucking Tasers

Yep, because someone face-down on the ground, handcuffed, deserves 50,000 volts of potentially-lethal force.

Anyone that knows me, or has read this blog, knows that my biggest hangup with the murderous, unhinged cop mentality is through the use of Tasers. These so-called "restraint" devices are an alternative to lethal force. That is, they are meant to be discharged in scenarios where lethal force would otherwise be justified. However, they are used -far too often- by these authoritarian, sadistic fruitcakes as a means to terrorize, humiliate and physically harm suspects, in situations that clearly would not otherwise indicate drawing a firearm and attempting to kill a perpetrator.

Despite repeated deaths, over and over again, from these enablers of the police state, Taser International has long denied that Tasers actually can kill. Well, guess who decided to jump on the Painfully-Fucking-Obvious Bandwagon today? Taser International. In fact, they warned that officers should not fire into the CHESTS of a suspect because of potential lethal heart attacks. Gee, fucking think that might happen when you tase 72 year old women with 50,000 volts? Or 12 year old kids? Thanks for playing Taser.

Since 2001, these "non lethal" weapons of civilian terror have killed 350 SUSPECTS!

Photoshop Fail: Hot Topic goes deep (into the fascia)


H/T to the MonkeyGirl, from the wonderful Photoshop Disasters blog:

Why yes, that is a track mark on this lady's arm...but is it real?

This is technically labeled a failed Photoshop, for the track marks on the model's arm. But, I'm not so sure. I am just cynical enough to think that soulless, corporate cocksuckers would Photoshop track marks onto the chick's arm for some of that old-school heroin chic so missing from today's post-punk, alt-goth scene.  After all, this is a company that had eschews any sort of DIY ethic which made punk/goth so endearing, and now panders to the lowest common denominator of 12 year-olds by slapping black labels on bubble-gum-scented body sprays. And, as if you needed any more verification, this is the current inventory of Hot Topic. I dare you to go to their website...dare you.

Bauhaus spits on your grave, Stephanie Meyer...Bela Legosi is still undead.

Mark Ingram for Heisman: The End is Near!!!!!

See this screen capture? Mark Ingram is freakin' LEADING the nation for Heisman balloting? THE END DRAWS NIGH!!!!

Among the many acheivements of the University of Alabama's football are the following: 22 SEC Champions, 12 National Championships, 96 First Team All-Americans, 38 Consensus All-Americans, and has won EVERY single individual award. Except one...this one....

The Heisman Memorial Trophy, given to the nation's Most Outstanding Player.

At Alabama, it is about a team concept. As Paul W. "Bear" Bryant said, "Other places win the Heisman, at Alabama we win championships." However, now it is time to rethink that. Why can't the best team have the best player? Ingram rattled off an absurd 246 yards against So. Carolina on Saturday. Against the three ranked teams he's played, he's busted them for 548 yards. He has 8 rushing TDs, 3 receiving TDs and an ungodly 6.7 ypc average...against very, very good teams. Like so....

So easy, a 5'11" true Sophomore, and the nation's best RB, can do it!

Sometimes the twain shall meet. This year, may Bear look down upon us, is that year. Roll Tide.

Wednesday Southern Annihilation: Cruxshadows Edition

One of the truly greatest, most random videos ever: Cruxshadows "Edge of the World".  When I was a partner in a bar venture back in the day, we hosted Cruxshadows as often as possible. Everyone drooled over Rogue, but I was obviously much more interested in Jen and Jessica :) Let's hear it for the South, who can produce uber-creepiness as well as Europe!


So, you think you're fancy with your pentatonic scale, do you?

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.
Can you take over the freakin' world with it? Bobby McFerrin can. This is absolutely one of the coolest displays of the innate musicality in us. I truly believe, with mathematics, it is one of the higher order, ingrained processes that make us uniquely human...

Simple minor pentatonic scale...note the five pitches per octave. This shit is universal: According to good ole Wiki, it's in traditional Greek arrangements, Sami songs, Celtic jams, West Africa, American Jazz/Blues/Rock, Afro-Caribbean songs, Korea, China, Japan, India, ad nauseum.

Well, that's just awkward for everyone: Necrophilia

So, whatchya' doin' tonight? Wanna' head to my place and grab a cold one?

A man in Cincinatti has been charged with Gross Abuse of a Corpse (God, I'd love to know the elements to that offense) after molesting dead women for 16 freakin' years!!! Among his more grisly objects of ardor are two recent Cincy Murder victims:

• Charlene Edwards, 23, also known as Charlene Apling, was strangled to death. Douglas said he had sex with her body Oct. 1, 1991, on the day she died. She was six months pregnant when she was killed by Mark Chambers, in his Avondale home. Chambers originally was charged with murder but accepted a plea bargain and was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and sent to prison for 10-25 years. He was paroled in 2000.

• Angel Hicks, 24, was pushed from a third-story window and died from blunt trauma. Douglas said he had sex with that body Dec. 8, 1991. Tyrone Williams was charged with murder in the case. He was acquitted months later at trial. There was a question whether Hicks was killed or committed suicide.

And, keep in mind, this is a man already serving a 3 year sentence...for schtuppin' a decapitated 19 year old girl. According to police "Douglas was employed for 16 years, from 1976-1992, as a night attendant at the morgue. He told authorities previously that while there, he invited women in and partied with them with drugs and alcohol. He also admitted to having sex with bodies being stored while awaiting autopsies."

Just. Yuck. There may be some victimless crimes, but I'm not sure this counts as one of them....

Tuesday Apathy: Mobilizing the unmotivated edition

Blah. Just fucking blah on today. Have some Shins, "Call to Apathy"


Look at this small cylinder of latex for no particular reason...

Good ole' fundamentalists. In Lenoir, NC a man is standing trial for abusing his children in the name of god. Specifically, he stands charged with performing homegrown circumcisions...with a BOX CUTTER. Well, doesn't that hurt? He knows it hurts, but no more than providing anesthesia for said circumcision. Spaketh the Defendant"

Does piercing a child with a needle three times not cause pain? We're dealing with pain either way,

How would he know how badly it feels to have one's genitals mutilated. Oh, of course, he already did it to himself....

Marlowe, who is facing two felony counts of child abuse, testified this week he circumcised his own penis a few years ago because God told him to do so. "God, the Holy Spirit pressed me to do this ... When God presses something on you to do it, you do it,"

Wow. Just what the fuck?

 So many choices.


Bang, You're Dead!

 I do love the Japanese. If there is a more idiosyncratic (to be kind) people on the planet, I'm not sure where they reside. This is a people who sell soiled women's panties in vending machines, drink breast milk and curried-flavored soda, use enema toilets, have the most creative game shows ever, and, for good measure, take it as all good fun to stage a fake sniper assassination before a studio audience. The latter is the subject of the following:

Why do I get the feeling you could NOT get away with this in America?

* H/T Tom.

Hate Week: Let it rain down on the midden known as Tennessee

God, I hate those fuckers.

Monday Monday: A Cass Elliot Retrospective

In the 60s and 70s, everyone liked the Mommas and the Papas...Especially Momma Cass*

 Unknown to most folks, not only did Cass Elliott have a phenomenal voice, but she was also a bit of a sleuth, being an excellent celebrity crime fighter when not performing. Her biggest gigs were at Shriner's conventions, DEA annual meetings and for local Fraternal Orders of Police.

Law enforcement loved her because she shared so many of their world views. She was particularly draconian in helping to enforce marijuana possession laws, and even guest-directed the documentary: Devil's Harvest. This, of course, made her many enemies....especially among her nemesis, Hippies, who had their life of evil exposed to the harsh glare of reality.

Predictably, her philanthropy was not appreciated by this maniacal underclass. She was kidnapped by a typical group of deranged, sadistic, death-obsessed hippies. These psychopathic malcontents demanded an exorbitant ransom  of drugs, unmarked bills and hair care products to fuel their opulent and vain lifestyle. 

When no ransom was forthcoming, she was was instead tortured, by being subjected to second hand smoke, sex toys and being forced to engage in the dark practice of "free love"

After the psychosexually sadistic hippies had used and abused Cass until she was a dried out husk of humanity, she was placed in a Wicker Man. 

Thereupon, she was burned to death, while the blood thirsty love children sang peons of praise to Satan, just like their hero Anton LaVey commands.

After hearing of this ghastly fate, America had a great awakening, and all of the dirty hippies passed from memory, and no jam bands were ever created, and no one ever, ever smoked marijuana ever ever again.

Momma Cass's death brought an end to the Hippie Counterculture and the scourge of marijuana. Thus, she was able to achieve in death her lifelong dreams of eradicating both. RIP Momma Cass.

*At least one sentence in this essay is false.


Math can be beautiful....

Mathematics is not just the language of the universe, but seems to me as though it would be the language of God. Look at this elegance, both in pattern and aesthetics.

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting.  ~Gottfried Leibniz

H/T  Mr. Desi

Sunday Unstoppable: Mark Ingram Edition

Much more later today on your Heism@n front-runner, Alabama's RB Mark Ingram. Suffice it to say, this kid is Unstoppable.