In these moments of exceptional weirdness, only one thing will suffice: The Cramps...
Bikini Girls With Machine Guns...
This year, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons went on an African vacation and shot an elephant. He recorded the whole thing on video.
There's one scene where a swarm of "hungry" villagers rip flesh off the dead elephant.
All the villagers are wearing bright orange GoDaddy-branded hats, too.
Parsons says he did it because the elephant was eating villagers' crops. Opponents say there are non-lethal ways to solve that kind of problem.
Richard Simmons, the fitness guru best known for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" exercise videos, is now teaching air travelers how to avoid a disaster.
Air New Zealand has recruited the ever-enthusiastic workout guru to recite the in-flight safety instructions in his own emphatic style.
"Hi, everybody, In the next three minutes we're going to work hard, work out and get you fit to fly," Simmons begins.
"First let's stretch it out, and loose that baggage. Stretch it up to the overhead locker or slide it under the seat in front of you. Stretch and slide!
"Yeah! You're a giraffe!"
Holmes took to carrying Mudin’s severed finger with him in a zip-lock bag. “He wanted to keep the finger forever and wanted to dry it out,” one of his friends would later report. “He was proud of his finger.”
On January 15th, 2010, U.S. soldiers in Bravo Company stationed near Kandahar executed an unarmed Afghan boy named Gul Mudin in the village of La Mohammad Kalay. Reports by soldiers at the scene indicate that Mudin was about 15 years old. According to sworn statements, two soldiers – Cpl. Jeremy Morlock and Pfc. Andrew Holmes – staged the killing to make it look like they had been under attack. Ordering the boy to stand still, they crouched behind a mud wall, tossed a grenade at him and opened fire from close range.
The photos collected by soldiers included many shots of local children, often filed alongside images of bloody casualties. At one point, soldiers in 3rd Platoon talked about throwing candy out of a Stryker vehicle as they drove through a village and shooting the children who came running to pick up the sweets.