Thursday is having a helluva weird one...

Not a great one, not a shit one either.

In these moments of exceptional weirdness, only one thing will suffice: The Cramps...

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns...
 Another classic.

WTF? And not in a good way...

Apparently, GoDaddy.com CEO Bob Parsons has a dick the size of a thimble...Otherwise, I can't understand why on God's Earth he would do the following:

This year, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons went on an African vacation and shot an elephant. He recorded the whole thing on video.

There's one scene where a swarm of "hungry" villagers rip flesh off the dead elephant.
All the villagers are wearing bright orange GoDaddy-branded hats, too.

Parsons says he did it because the elephant was eating villagers' crops. Opponents say there are non-lethal ways to solve that kind of problem.

And people wonder why I detest humanity....

Totally understand, big guy....

Anyway, if you're down with the killing of an endangered species, and yet more human depravity on display, here's your vid. In the meanwhile, I'm really glad I'm not using GoDaddy.com for any of my hosting needs.

Seriously, what the fuck...



Oh, Internet, I can't quit you...

You truly are the gift that keeps giving. If I need to waste time at work, amuse myself with dick jokes, watch porn of the variety only available in Berlin, or just check the scores of a D-III football game, you are there for me...

Why yes, I would like some People's Wagon fucking, please.
[unzips trousers]

But the internet is so much more than an idyll; sometimes it provides you with jaw-dropping instances of why humanity, as the dominant species, can't continue on indefinitely....Like so...


Richard Simmons, the fitness guru best known for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" exercise videos, is now teaching air travelers how to avoid a disaster.

Air New Zealand has recruited the ever-enthusiastic workout guru to recite the in-flight safety instructions in his own emphatic style.


Sometimes words just don't do just to the WTF factor here...But, here's a partial transcript....

"Hi, everybody, In the next three minutes we're going to work hard, work out and get you fit to fly," Simmons begins.

"First let's stretch it out, and loose that baggage. Stretch it up to the overhead locker or slide it under the seat in front of you. Stretch and slide!

"Yeah! You're a giraffe!"

And, you didn't think I was going to let you go without the video, did you?



Wednesday Insomnia Breeds Misfits...

Went to Huggo's last night: Easily my favorite upscale restaurant here in Kona (although if you want to drive to Mauna Lani or Waikoloa, there are some serious restaurants up there...including a very nice Ruths' Chris near the Kings' Shops).

Anyway, stuffed myself on Kona Brewing Co. Fire Rock Pale Ale, Lobster cakes w/Aioli, NY Strip, potatoes, asparagus (and filched a lil' of Monkaygirl's Taste of the Islands Linguine). So came back in a food coma...likely drunk...and crashed at 9:00.

Lo and behold, ten til three and what happens? Wide. The Fuck. Awake. Not like I have to make a 5 hour round trip drive or anything today, then get back and write a brief...not to mention it's humpday. If I survive today, raise a glass in my honor, cuz I'll probably be drunk by noon.

On with the show: Today's selection features a lil' band you've probably heard of...they adorn the denim jackets of punks and metal heads, and have for almost three decades. You can see the iconic logo just up above (feel free to 'Apple click-Save as'). But, we're not gonna' do the newer stuff. Nope we're going back to the OG...Glen Fucking Danzig.  Runty powerbroker of trash metal, and progenitor of the "devil lock" haircut (of which, your's truly once rocked).

Last Caress...it's a classic.
You are welcome.



Miss VHaven..

Slammed today, kids.  Enjoy the absolutely beatific, pup-tent-inducing, MissVhaven, via, Pinup Post.

(c) Ron Wilkerson Photography

Divinity has a face (and some bitchin' shoes!)


Tuesday found some grungy rock n' roll....

Courtesy of Bo Hicks, booze-slingin', Whole Foods-memorizin', Chinese Dentist-playing musician/bartender/homie; and of course, the Kracken of wellthatscool.com.

Artimus Pyledriver: Awesome, awesome stuff. To say this is Lynyrd Skynryd meets Motorhead is a very apt analogy.

Enjoy kids. And, hey, if ya' like goins' on, dick jokes, and southern stuff (dogs, sad bears n' bees, football, beer, music, etc).  then check out Well That's Cool, and also Tower of Bammer.

Swamp Devil...



Gettin' down on Friday

By now, you're all familiar with the abortion of tween-tainment, Rebecca Black's "Friday" (<== no way am I linking to that). In all of its autotuned, musical oblivion and lyrical inanity, it could be the worst thing published in the musical catalog over the past decade.

But, it does lend itself to a particular dark humor.

Enter Matt Mulholland, with his own brilliant, but depressive take on "Friday" (and Fridays, in general). A buddy of mine, a lawyer in Alabama, sent me this on Twitter. And, felt it necessary to share because A) it's funny, and B) this is exactly how I spent my Friday: Verge of angry tears, head in my hands, trying to get drunk enough to make it all go away....

...it didn't work.

The upside is, I did laugh sardonically for an hour as I kept this one repeating on my iPhone. Perhaps you will get a lil' enjoyment or catharsis out of it?

H/T to Espyonaj.

"Liberation" of 'Ghan...We are monsters (NSFW)

Another day, another round of liberation from the brave U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan.

I'll put a big jump in this one, but just know that what you are going to see is VERY VERY graphic. It depicts the actions of America's Kill Team in Afghanistan: displaying severed heads, mutilated corpses, murdered teenagers, and other such depravities.

We have no business here. None. What. So. Ever.

Like every other would-be conquerer of Afghanistan, we have resorted to depravity that is near-unimaginable: Happened to the Moghuls, the Mongols, Alexander of Macedon, the British, the Soviets, and now us...as though history were at all irrelevant.

Anyway....BIG JUMP NOW.

Holmes took to carrying Mudin’s severed finger with him in a zip-lock bag. “He wanted to keep the finger forever and wanted to dry it out,” one of his friends would later report. “He was proud of his finger.”
 Cover-up photos courtesy of Der Speigel & Rolling Stone.
Excerpts quoted & (c) Rolling Stone 2011.

On January 15th, 2010, U.S. soldiers in Bravo Company stationed near Kandahar executed an unarmed Afghan boy named Gul Mudin in the village of La Mohammad Kalay. Reports by soldiers at the scene indicate that Mudin was about 15 years old. According to sworn statements, two soldiers – Cpl. Jeremy Morlock and Pfc. Andrew Holmes – staged the killing to make it look like they had been under attack. Ordering the boy to stand still, they crouched behind a mud wall, tossed a grenade at him and opened fire from close range.

The rest are far too graphic for even my stomach to handle. Suffice it say, the links above show the vicious, brutal, inhuman and barbarous actions of the "Kill Team". And they are not alone. If anyone thinks for one second that a drone that kills tens of innocent civilians is a more sterile warfare, then you are sadly mistaken.

War is a sick fucking enterprise, and not a single one of the actions we've been engaged in since 2001 has been justified. Not one. Afghanistan didn't attack us; Iraq didn't declare war upon us. And they have every good reason and right to continue killing U.S. soldiers as long we continue with our imperial follies: We are the invaders, and every nation -every person- on the planet recognizes the right to self-defense.

The face of terrorism...and it isn't the little muslim child....

The photos collected by soldiers included many shots of local children, often filed alongside images of bloody casualties. At one point, soldiers in 3rd Platoon talked about throwing candy out of a Stryker vehicle as they drove through a village and shooting the children who came running to pick up the sweets.


Monday has got to do a better job...

Absolute doldrums.

Still getting my ass kicked with Sr. Partner out of town.

Getting kind of pissed off at Hawaii: Love the locale here, but the people aren't the greatest: I live in Geezer-Central. If I hear one more motherfucking piece of shit Jawaiian/Reggae/Hawaii tune, or light jazz, I may stab someone. Not to mention, this is a remote place...If you're not down with all-outdoor activity, all the time, then you probably don't want to move to West Hawaii. And, trying to find folks to hang out with is im-fucking-possible.

And lucre. Filthy, nasty lucre. So damned broke because our entire economy is based solely on fossil fuels. The slightest variation in fuel prices, sends a spike that ripples hellishly across the fiscal landscape: Produce becomes a luxury commodity; essentials become prohibitive. (and because I signed a shitty contract last year, but there you go).

So, there we are. Really pissed off this morning; primarily about practicing law, money and being really fucking isolated out here. Maybe it'll pass. Who knows? Who cares? I'm going to go have a drink.

On tap today is whatever I feel like doing :) (but, I do want to update the City of Refuge...got some more information that I need to add to the record and correct).

But, until then, let's have some Deicide, because it seems like an appropriately pissed off kinda' tune...Fuck Your God (and it does have some pretty sweet zombies).

 Brutal. Simply brutal.