Really, internet. What the fuck.
Beware the lawyer personalityOnce you’ve snagged a lawyer, beware. According to 20-year psychologist, Dr. Fiona Travis, “the same qualities that persuade juries and win cases can also work like acid on marital relations.” Our survey indicated the same, with one lawyer wife telling us that she endures “power trips” and “being spoken to like opposing counsel." Studies also show that lawyers tend to be defensive, argumentative, skeptical, and anti-social. However, the bright side is that you won’t experience these things often because lawyers are rarely at home. As one lawyer said, “Lawyers tend to be type A workaholics and have a hard time balancing work and family.”
Use Latin whenever possibleLawyers feel warm and fuzzy when they hear Latin. An easy way to use Latin without knowing any is to give your pets Latin names. When you say, “Why, yes, I have a pet! It’s a poodle named Per Stirpes!” any lawyer will turn to putty in your hands.
Never speak of beliefs not backed by empirical evidenceFor example, if you believe in the healing power of magnets, keep it to yourself. Instead, loudly and passionately accuse wait staff and small children of non sequiturs. Throw in a disparaging comment about the American education system for extra points.
The findings of a link between the disorder and academic and intellectual performance may explain the association between genius and mania that has long been thought to exist. People with bipolar disorder who are in a manic phase can have exaggerated emotional responses and can be witty, inventive and have high cognitive capabilities. They are also capable of sustained concentration and have high stamina, and so can achieve much more than people without the disorder.
The national cohort study was carried out by scientists from King’s College London's Institute of Psychiatry and the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden. The team, led by King’s College senior lecturer in psychiatric epidemiology, Dr James MacCabe, studied the final exam results of all 15-16-year-old pupils attending High Schools in Sweden from 1988 to 1997, and compared them to hospital records of bipolar disorder admissions of patients between the ages of 17 and 31.
They found those with A-grade results were almost four times more likely to be admitted for the condition than average students, even after the findings were controlled for income and education level of the parents. The link was stronger in males than females.
During their elation (manic) periods they may have insomnia, restlessness, racing thoughts, and may have an over-inflated self-esteem. In the depressed stages they may be suicidal. Around 1% of the population suffers from bipolar disorder.
As the Washington Post's Dana Priest recently revealed, al-Alaqi was added recently to a short list of other Americans for whom there are kill orders in place.
A senior Member of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence has told me that to his knowledge, there has been no serious discussion in the Committee of stripping US citizenship from terrorists, but a senior Pentagon official has confirmed that some in the military are exploring the upsides and downsides of such a more routenized mechanism for stripping citizenship.
The word "attainder", meaning "taintedness", is part of English common law. Under English law, a criminal condemned for a serious crime, whether treason or felony (but not misdemeanor, which referred to less serious crimes), could be declared "attainted", meaning that his civil rights were nullified: he could no longer own property or pass property to his family by will or testament. His property could consequently revert to the Crown or to the mesne lord. Any peerage titles would also revert to the Crown. The convicted person would normally be punished by judicial execution as well—when a person committed a capital crime and was put to death for it, the property left behind escheated to the Crown or lord rather than being inherited by family. Attainder functioned more or less as the revocation of the feudal chain of privilege and all rights and properties thus granted.
The nation is in the grip of an epidemic, but one very different from those usually written about, such as obesity, diabetes and binge-drinking. What makes this epidemic unusual is that it is not an illness or condition in itself, but the false belief that something is wrong with you. This mass delusion affects millions of people in this country, and it’s getting worse. It’s food intolerance. One in five Britons now claims to have a food allergy or intolerance, with most stating wheat as the problem. That is an increase of 400 per cent in the past 20 years.
Now research conducted by Portsmouth University has shown that of those people claiming to have an allergy or intolerance, only 2 per cent actually did.
The realisation that most people aren’t that special can be avoided by adopting a quasi-medical condition that sets one apart. It demands attention and consideration. It forces other people to think about them and make special arrangements for them. Only last week, a friend with recently self-diagnosed lactose intolerance came round for a cup of tea. “Do you have any soya milk?” she asked as the kettle boiled. I confessed I hadn’t and felt awful. It was then that I realised she was on her third chocolate biscuit. “Oh, milk’s OK in chocolate biscuits,” she said hastily. How convenient, I thought.
Those who beat, punched and kicked Kalli Biswokarma, 47, accused her of casting evil spells on a schoolteacher who had fallen ill in the village of Pyutar, 40 kilometres south of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu.
"I was victimised because I am a poor woman," said Ms Biswokarma, who belongs to the Dalit community - the untouchables on the lowest rung of Nepal's rigid Hindu caste hierarchy.
"Around 35 people came to my home and took me away. They trapped me in a cow shed and forced me to eat faeces and drink urine.
"The next day they cut my skin with blades. I could not bear the torture and I confessed to being a witch just to save my life."
We at Rent-A-Dildo feel it is necessary to respond preemptively to customer concerns over policies such as “throttling,” which treat customers differently based on their rental habits. We recognize that each of our users is an individual, with their own unique sexual tastes and desires, and under no circumstances will we engage in practices that penalize users for that sexual expression.
Effective immediately, we will cease lending anal sex toys to customers. This includes butt plugs, anal beads, anal probes, and dual-penetration dildos. If you currently have one of these types of rental toys, you may keep it without charge as a courtesy accommodation.We have taken this step due to concerns raised by health officials about the possible spread of fecal-borne disease. Please note, we are confident that our patent-pending cleaning process is sufficient to sterilize toys, even after extensive inter-anal use, and no infections have been reported by our customers. However, we have decided to err on the side of caution by eliminating anal toys from our rental inventory.
As a further precaution, all sex toys returned to us will be tested for fecal matter. If a toy tests positive, the customer returning the toy will be given a warning. Any repeat violations will result in the cancellation of the customer's account and being billed for the cost of the soiled toy.