Guess what? Mind. Blown.

Humanity may, just may not be the center of the universe. Hate to break the news to anyone still living in pre-Renaissance feudal Europe.

I wish I could embed this fantastic Flash piece  Portugese site, HTwins.net. Therein you get the true scale of the Universe, and all life, features and matter (hypothetical or otherwise), from the impossibly micro (Quantum foam), to the boundaries of this plane of existence (930 million light years across).

Please, go now. You won't be disappointed, although you might be humbled...rightly so.

The universe is so vast in scope that our frail simian brains cannot even fathom it without caving in ourselves.

No petty description of hell or heaven or eternal delights or silly superstition puts humanity more in its place than pondering the imponderable that is our universe...and possibly our multiverse.

H/T Felice Fawn

It's a real world Humpday

In fact, February has been all kinds of chaos. Apologies, etc.

So, rather than just leave you with one mingy little vid, thought I'd try to find something special for you.
Lads and Lasses, Whovians, nerds, sci-fi nerds, Doctor Who fanboys and girls, please enjoy perhaps my favorite full episode of Doctor Who v. 2.0., featuring the incomparable David Tennant's Tenth Doctor and, of course, The Master as played by FANTASTIC John Simm...The Sound of Drums. Followed by the second part, The Last of the Time Lords.

Until tomorrow kids.

 Doctor Who 3x12 - The Sound of Drums - TV & Reclame - 123video

Here come the drums, here come the drums

Doctor Who 3x13 - Last of the Time Lords - TV & Reclame - 123video

Bye bye, Master.

Gone, but not forgotten.

-d.s.

Happy 1000th Post, Kari Byron

Thanks Kari...We've been through a lot.

 

This is Shadow's 1000th post here since Jan of '09. Without a doubt, the most highly sought after, trafficked-for content involves Ms. Kari Byron.

It's not pervy if it's in the name of science.

During that time, I've posted a lot of Hot Nerd Girls, a few gothic chicks, and a not-insubstantial amount of pinups. But, of the hundreds of lovely ladies, Kari Byron continues to capture the imagination (and SEO) of thousands of folks daily...that lil' popular post thing over to your left is reset weekly. the middle and bottom changes, but the top always remains the same.

C'mon...like you wouldn't watch her butt scan?

For those of you who came for Kari, but stuck around for the insanity and randomness, danke. For those who came for Kari, danke. Just remember, that as awesomely hot as she is, Ms. Byron also wields some impressive nerd-entials. It's the brain that counts, and the sense of humor. Long after we've all aged, and wrinkled, and (for some) gone on to whatever awaits, those are the things that are important.

But, until then...we can all agree that her in a silver bikini is pretty awesome!

-d.s.

Shadow Q&A: Part Three

Previously, in editions One and Two, I discussed my abiding love of Stoya, my admiration for Genghis Khan, hinted at a possible sex addiction and dissatisfaction with monogamous Western societies, briefly ran down the reason why I am a lawyer, and detailed my particular mix of politics.

This time, we move on to the more esoteric.


Mr. Shadow, you've mentioned previously that you grew up in grinding poverty. When you became a lawyer, did you go nuts with money? Buy new stuff all the time? 


No. My prior positions haven't exactly been flush with cash, first of all. I worked for judiciaries out of school. While prestige gigs, they don't make you rich. And I've worked for Indian tribes, and as in-house for a Fortune 500 company. Comfortable living, but nothing to go nuts about. Besides, the average lawyer today walks out 100K in debt; and I am no exception.

The one and only thing nice I did for myself was buy a brand spanking new, one day old, 1.2 miles on the odometer, fully loaded Black Scion xB, with custom stereo. I love this car almost as much as life itself. I only regret that there aren't enough wide open spaces here to really cut loose for my other great love: Road trips.

 In fairness, it is a pretty sweet car.

And it damn well better be...I'm going to have to drive it for the next decade.

So, um, you're not rich? I thought lawyers were rich?

Um, no, I'm not. And, admittedly, many lawyers do very well for themselves. But, like any profession (and more so than most) you have to absolutely bust your ass, literally 70-80 hour weeks for nearly a decade, before you get that "lawya' money". And, that's if you're fortunate enough to work at such a place where hourly rates are the norm and where the clients actually pay the bills. 

Sure, there are some -in the large cities- where you make 100-200K outta' school and clerkships. Those firms are surprisingly few and far between. The silk stockings, so to speak. And, they are supercompetitive mills where you hold a brief case for five years, doing tasks like "doc review" and "due diligence".

I could have worked at one in Omaha/Chicago. But, you're talking 90% attrition within three years for new associates. Moreover, everyone in my "hiring class" was summarily laid off when the bad times hit. 

So, no, we're not immune from financial turmoil. Especially we younger guys and gals. We're fired first, and yet we're the ones in the most debt.

Sorry I can't stick around to hear how much you enjoy that third home in Montana, Senior Firing Partner. I've got to get to the food stamp office by 5:00.

Wow. That's grim stuff. Let's move on: I understand you may possibly be a sex addict. So, what's your favorite position? Doggy? Missionary? "Buck"? Do you like to take control? Be dominated? Light BDSM or full-on edging? Toys? The Scott Turow "Peach Pit"?

 Yes.

Which one?

Yes.

"Yes": The best word in the English Language.

And, if it's said three times, or in conjunction with "Oh God", you've done well.

 Very well. Are you ready for this one? What's your Myers-Briggs?

 INTJ. Look it up lawya'.

INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake ... INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play ... Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel ... This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals ... Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense.

Makes sense, now. But, I refuse to believe you're introverted. What are your other weaknesses?

It's true. Look, I don't like to admit this, but I am terribly shy in social situations. A "rainmaker" I will never be, except on the basis of referral, which is presently how I do things. Although, once I get relaxed or comfortable with a person, you'll find that I just never shut up. As people have noted I'm not the most approachable person, and my smile very often looks like sneers of contempt.

Along with this social awkwardness comes stage fright. Amazing, huh? I make my living upon a stage but am terrified for days leading up to the consummation of the efforts. When I was a professional musician, I had to be nearly falling-down drunk to climb on a stage.

What is your biggest, irrational fear?

Easy. Flying and Clowns. And, especially flying clowns.

And you call it "irrational".

 

I see that it's time for you to head to work. Is there anything you'd like to add this morning?

Yes, I really want to move out of this condo. It was rented for me when I was still on the mainland. But, the covenants forbid animals (and the median age of tenant is about Methuselah).  I love and miss pets; especially dogs. To that end, I adopted a stray starving kitten, and have turned her into a talkative, loving indoor/outdoor kitty.

 Mr. Fuzzy-Pants, the talking terror of West Hawaii...

She loves stealing the newspaper, and eating the local wildlife.

Anything else?

Yes, I love geckos. They are the coolest critters ever. If you ever come visit, watch out for your ice cream and beer, as they will sneak down to steal either one.

Say goodbye, Slappy the Gecko.

-d.s.

 

 

 

Nerd question for the Blogosphere

This site has been on Blogger for about three years now. I like the flexibility and use of Java-based items. My understanding is that Wordpress may be a bit more powerful, but it really restricts the use of Java in its script. Moreover, it doesn't support 3rd party Java-apps for tracking, such as the incomparable StatCounter.

My question is, those of you who've used WordPress (and/or Blogger) what do you think of it? And, are there any serious advantages to moving over?


Thanks.

Kind of a big deal, really: Captured Anti-Matter

Large Hadron Collider: Not just for destroying the Earth anymore!

Really, this is  a very big deal, and exceptionally cool. Seems scientists at Lucerne have pulled off the impossible feat of isolating, and then containing anti-matter. Anti-matter is destroyed when it comes into contact with regular ole' universe matter. That they were able to isolate it, and then contain it for a a period of time is remarkable. 

One of the holy grails of particle physics, in fact.

Per the BBC:

Researchers at Cern, home of the Large Hadron Collider, have held 38 antihydrogen atoms in place, each for a fraction of a second.

Antihydrogen has been produced before but it was instantly destroyed when it encountered normal matter.

The team, reporting in Nature, says the ability to study such antimatter atoms will allow previously impossible tests of fundamental tenets of physics.

The current "standard model" of physics holds that each particle - protons, electrons, neutrons and a zoo of more exotic particles - has its mirror image antiparticle.

The antiparticle of the electron, for example, is the positron, and is used in an imaging technique of growing popularity known as positron emission tomography.

However, one of the great mysteries in physics is why our world is made up overwhelmingly of matter, rather than antimatter; the laws of physics make no distinction between the two and equal amounts should have been created at the Universe's birth.

This still doesn't mean that I trust the LHC, or that it won't devour our world like Galactus; nevertheless, this alone would be a pay-off for the long-delayed, over-budgeted, controversial particle collider.

Yea, science!

  Ignore this guy. Really, he's just here for the refreshments.

-d.s.

Monday trusts you had a great weekend

A lot went on this weekend. I had a social meeting with a client at a yacht club. I didn't realize that half of the "other half" hate the other half of the "other half", but it was enlightening, especially for upjumped trash like myself.

There were some exceptionally strange news items, which I hope share with you as I get the time later this week. And, finally, it seems that I may have finally dug myself out of my three-month hole. Just in time for the Holidays, too!

I'll be along shortly, but, until then, enjoy some old school King Missile, won't you?

So, that's what happened to it? I thought it was just law-related atrophy.

Sadly, one's penis becomes less used about the same time one's metaphorical balls grow.

Sick, sad direct inverse correlation, no?

-d.s.

Welcome to the new Gothlaw

After weeks of work to export, save, migrate and then modify the site, it is finally complete. There are a few new things I'd like to point out first, before I begin re-posting in earnest. Let's begin shall we?

Sure Proust was a wordy bastard, but did he author a pointless blog? 

I think not. Suck it, Marcel!

In no particular order, here are the changes

• A lot of new folks on the Blog Roll; among them are: the incomparable Stoya's Tumblr site, some new law links, greatly reduced idylls, some humorous and/or juvenile stuff, educational sites, some people I find interesting, new erotica (SFW and otherwise), and, really, anything else that struck my fancy.
• But, my best find is Siouxsie Law (<-- Psst, over there). Another lawyer of a gothic bent. Needless to say, I was tickled. I knew I couldn't be the only one. So, let's say hail and well met to Siouxsie. I'm not sure if she does litigation and appellate law like me, but we're kind of a fucked up breed to begin with.
• The look is a lot less polished, a lot more focused, a lot less cluttered, and -- hopefully -- more readable. After all, reading is the point of a blog, and a site design should make it easier and friendlier, not give you a migraine.
• In the site redesign are some new things. The translation bar still appears, although it as the bottom of the page. To my international visitors, I say thanks again, and I hope that assists you. Some other elements have been removed and/or consolidated.
• My profile has been updated.
• I have also included a "popularity contest"; an-up-to-the-moment snapshot of the most popular pages for the current week (I dare say Hot Nerd Girls will feature prominently most of the time...there are about 2+ years worth to choose from).
• There are new links within each post, for social sharing, as well as direct email functions.

There are some more minor things, as you'll discover. Anyway, take a look around, whistle by the graveyard, and feel free to comment on anything you wish. I'm a big boy, and I'm not easily offended!

If you want to reach me, I can always be reached at concave.scream@yahoo.com. You can also add me to your Y! or MSN Messenger using that same address.

Until tomorrow, pleasant dreams of soft rain humming into a quiet night.


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Well, Well, Well...Guess who's coming back?

This guy, that's who.

Who's happy to be coming back?

 

As you may remember, I was in the process of moving from my digs in Mid-America to the paradise of Hawaii. Been here and working now for about 4 months, and things have finally calmed down enough to post again on a semi-regular basis.

I don't expect the content to change: Same ole' lefty politics, gallows humor, issues in the law, odd news stories, things pissing me off RE: current affairs, libertine sexual themes, daily YouTubes of whatever strikes my fancy, as well as obligatory/gratuitous hot nerd/goth chicks (work that SEO, yo).

Until then (which shall be soon, I promise) enjoy a Slave Leia Convention! wh00t1!1!

The one in the bikini is totally checking me out...

 

-D.S.

Wedsnesday's got everything to hide...

Except for me and my monkey...(h/t to the Beatles for that weirdness). But, some mornings weirdness just won't cut it, and you need a steaming cup of delicious Duncan Hills Coffee.

Now a word from our sponsor...

Do you like coffee?

.

Who wanted Touchdown Jesus dead...

He is risen...

...but, I don't think it counts if he's styrofoam...

Above is pictured the largest Jesus depiction in North America, at a church in Monroe, Ohio. Standing 62 feet, with no pedestal, and carved out of foam, overlayed beneath a frame of steel beams. It doesn't look that big does it? I agree, the semis in the front sort of foreshorten the Christ. 

Would you like to see another one? To get the true scope of man's folly here?

Jesus...Lord of the sprinkler system!

However, problems arise when you build a gigantic metal tower, on a flat plain, and then cover it with styrofoam. You can probably predict how this turned out:

A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said. The "King of Kings" statue, one of southwest Ohio's most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m., Monroe police dispatchers said. The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained early Tuesday.

Of course, some might say that this really isn't a simple matter of science. The devout will probably pin the destruction on Satan. They would be closer than they think, because, I have it on good information and belief that the true culprit is....

Thor, the Norse god of warriors, strength, bravery, and the marshall of the storms!

CINCINNATI (MIDGARD)-  Details are sketchy at this time, but Odin-son, Thor, is believed to be the primary culprit of the destruction of the Monroe, OH "Touchdown" Jesus at this time. Police cite the fact that Mjolnir's hammer-shaped impression was found burned in the side of Jesus' face, and anonymous sources within the police department have stated "Look, it got hit by lightning, there's a big ass hammer print, so we know it wasn't Zeus..."

When contacted at his Asgard home, the surly Aesir chose not comment, although, according to eyewitness accounts, he did get smite-y on fellow deity, Heimdall, for letting mortals cross the Bifrost Bridge. 

Monroe prosecutors are uncertain about jurisdiction at this time, and one assistant in the office said "look, I'm not going to move venue up there...are you nuts? Besides, Thor may be the strongest, but he's in no way even the nastiest of the Aesir.  Hell, he's a good guy. Have you met his dad?!"

.

Need to bone up on your Macroeconomics?

Yes, yes you do...My suspicion is that a great many people, worldwide, are seriously pissed and have no idea how we got in this global economic mess. There are a couple of things you should know at the outset. 1. Every economic collapse of the 20th and 21st centuries can be traced directly to Goldman Sachs and speculation. 2. Every economic collapse of the 20th and 21st centuries is likewise directly attributable to the cycles of boom n bust that modern capitalist endeavors rely upon.

But, how to sort out the competing views of the giants in this field, John Maynard Keynes and F. A. Hayek?

How about this  ballin' fucking' video by "creative economist" Russ Roberts. Enjoy.

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Shadow Q&A: Part Two

 I told you I was pretty....and butch

Last week, I answered some of the more frequent questions I've received; including where I'm from, what I look like, who my current "end of the world" paramour would be, and my sexual orientation.

This week's Q&A will largely consist of answering the bizarre comments/questions I've received over the past 3+ years this blog has been in existence (and, it's been located four places on the web, sadly).


Who is your role model and/or who were you in a past life.

These are related, and I can answer them with one answer: If I believed in past lives (which I do not, since I am not a flake), I would have been Temujin a/k/a Genghis Khan for the same reasons I model my professional life after him:

• He was ambitious and absolutely relentless in obtaining his life's goals. Find someone else who was a better task-oriented person, I dare you.
• He was ruthless, cunning and not, as an individual, particularly cruel...Just single-minded and driven.
• He never let life kick him in the ass without getting up, dusting himself off, and kicking life right back in the nads
• He was a consummate organizer and delegator, never micromanaging the affairs of his subordinates
• He always had an eye for the great purpose and the larger goals, as well as the initial and intermediate steps that were necessary to obtain them.
• He was surprisingly progressive
• He loved speed and stringed weapons
• And, he especially loved the ladies.

Me and the Great Khan...ten toes down; ten toes down.

Why are you a lawyer?

Not by choice, initially. I went to college with the goal of being a heart surgeon. But after getting a C in Inorganic Chemistry, I realized that it would probably be unfair to cut on patients as a C student. Then I went into Pyschology and Philosophy, with a minor in creative writing. While in grad school for Clinical Psych, I realized how very very much I hated people.

The only career options open to philospophers, who love to write, but who hate people are A) taxi drivers, B) unemployment/grad school and C) attorney at law.

I chose C.

 Some of Socrates lesser known maxims include the "Piss off", and "I hate all of you fuckers"...

Do you take yourself seriously?

Not as much as Carrot Top, but moreso than Sarah Palin...

Speaking of Sarah Palin, would you 'tap it'?

I loathe stupid people and do not intentionally sleep with republicans. So, to answer your question, not with a borrowed dick and you pushing...

Sarah ' in 2012: Derp...

Oh, so you're a Democrat?

Only because "militant, yet pragmatic lefitist who despises limousine liberals with the intensity of a thousand suns and respects the rule of law" isn't an option at the voting booth. Besides, libertarians are selfish whiners who never got over being 15 and reading "Atlas Shrugged". I pay my taxes, because I value and like schools and roads and firefighters and courts and parks...however, I really should be able to abort my fetus, while smoking pot, and surfing the web anonymously. Nanny-ism is almost as bad as the police state.

 

 Exhibit A for everything that is wrong with self-serious, doctrinaire liberals.

Damn, I see we're running out of time. Is there anyone particular you want to punch in the face today? And why?

Yes. U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts. And the reason is Citizens United v. FEC. Go look it up...your democracy is now owned by the oligarchy.

Asshole. 

.

Shadow Q&A: Part One

I get a lot of questions regarding my personal life (because, the internet is fucking creepy), so I thought I'd grace you with the answers to the more frequent queries.



Where are you from, Mr. Shadow?

I was born in North Carolina, just off the reservation, where my family are enrolled, including yours truly. However, my dad was (like all good Southerners) primarily Irish --no offense to my Scot friends in the South. However, I moved when I was young, so I consider my next port of call, the State of Alabama, to truly be my "home state". Although, truth be told, I miss the good eatin' of possum and squirrel back in Appalachia.

 We owe Lynyrd Skynyrd a debt we can never repay...

Wait, you're from the South? Do you have an accent?

Usually only when drunk or trying. In those cases, accent is by and large the educated, Coastal accent of the Carolinas and Virginia. While I am loathe to admit it, I always wanted to have that cool, rolling, drawl of Georgia. I do not have it, so instead I just mock all persons with Yankee or Midwestern accents. Like everything else in my life, I make up for my deficiencies through the ridicule of others.

NOT from Georgia...

Are you attractive?

Shit yes. Imagine Brad Pitt and Ryan Reynolds having gay sex, with Scar Jo watching and talking dirty to Sasha Grey, who's nibbling at Scarlett's sideboob. 

Now, take the sweat from their sodomy and the saliva from the nasty talk and mix it all up to form a perfect body. Then, add one part Einstein-level brilliance to this Adonis, along with the charm and wit of James Bond, the handiness of Bob Villa, and the cuddliness of a Care Bear. Oh, you also need to add a silver tongue and a golden dick...Then you have me: I am that love child.

Thank god, I look like my other dad, and not this poor bastard...

Wow, with all of that going for you, something must be wrong. Are you gay?

Nope. I did kiss my best friend in college once. He was as butch as me, and several inconvenient things happened at once. 1. His stubble freaked me out. 2. My girlfriend was too turned on by it. 3. the resulting manliness explosion made the Battle of Thermopylae look like a Village People concert.

So, I stick to beautiful women, and I very often try to stick to just one at a time...

Drag queen...

Hmmm, you're taken. Too bad. Is there anyone you'd consider for your nuclear holocaust fuck fantasy?

As undeniably hot as Scar Jo is, I fear she'd just lay there, and ruin dimensions given to her by the Gods for the benefit of mankind. Winona Rider is more of the type you take home for dinner with mom (ditto Salma Hayek and Halle Barry). And, Catherine Zeta Jones, well, baby doll, she looks just a bit too high maintenance. So, that leaves me with my current nuclear holocause fuck fantasy. Stoya.

 

Perfect

I see our time is running short, anything you'd like to say in conclusion?

Yes, I do need to go study. But, remember this: Douglas Adams was correct, 42 is the meaning of life, and David Tennant's 10th Doctor Who is, was, and will remain the very best Doctor ever.

Don't blink...

.

Thursday dreamt of Decepticons...

In my continuing mission to outdo myself with bizarre dreams, last night had to take the cake. I went to bed early with a migraine, and I suppose the synapses were firing all over the place because I dreamed I was a Decepticon. And, I will tell you this much; transforming from a kick-ass jet into a giant robot hurts.

Here is Lion's classic Transformer's theme song...and a very cool video too, if giant cartoon robots are your thing.

.

I created a new blog for you, Stoya

Rather than inundate this site with interminable posts declaring my digital drool for Stoya, I decided to create a whole, brand new blog...just to get Stoya to email me...

Like you blame me...

The humble little endeavour is entitled, creatively enough, Email Me Stoya, and is found here. If your link won't work, the direct address is http://emailmestoya.blogspot.com.

Every day I will post a new picture of, and plea to, Stoya until such time as she shoots me an email. That is my Quixotic quest; join me, won't you?

.

When Physicists Masturbate

Gangsta' for Gravity, yo

Sir Isaac Newton, the apocryphal tale of an apple hitting his head, the First Law, Newtonian theories of Gravity, yada yada yada. While these are facts foisted on most of us at an early age, to physicists, these are superhot life-altering words. So much so, that freakin' rocket scientists at the UK's Royal Society have now planned what is, beyond all doubt, the nerdiest shit you will ever read:

From the UK Telegraph :

[A] section of wood, from the original tree from which the apple fell that inspired Newton’s theory of gravity, is normally held in the Royal Society’s archives.

The tree sample will be accompanied on its trip into space by an image of Sir Isaac, also donated by the Royal Society.

"We’re delighted to take this piece of Sir Isaac Newton’s apple tree to orbit. While it’s up there, it will be experiencing no gravity, so if it had an apple on it, the apple wouldn’t fall...I’m pretty sure that Sir Isaac would have loved to see this, assuming he wasn’t spacesick, as it would have proved his first law of motion to be correct. 

You read that correctly: The Royal Society is taking a piece of bark from Newton's apple tree and are going to shoot it up into space as an homage to Newton's First Law. I want to say that this is cool, etc, but, in reality, this is intellectual masturbation at its finest.  

I am pleased now to show you proof:

Look closely at his screen...are those boobies?

Wait for it...

Nooooooo!!!!!!

.

Set the wayback machine to Exams

 Get that paper, lawya'

So, this morning, on the Daily 'Tubez, I posted Bone Thugs n' Harmony's First of the Month. That got me thinking about all the various study aids I used, without fail, throughout my life. I can't guarantee that they'll work for you, but they were damned helpful on this end:



High School: I was an absolute fuck-up and ninny in high school. I barely studied, and when I did, I was more often high or half-drunk.

 "Sweet leaf, I love you..."

I

 I was broke and had no taste...Boone's Farm was the staff of life though. Especially Apple and Strawberry Hill,

College: I had a bit better sense in college, and actually paid attention more and/or studied. However, I was also working two or three jobs, double-majoring, double-minoring, and writing two Honors' theses. Needless to say, I was stressed and exhausted...but still broke.

M

Like I said, I was broke. Nevertheless, my college sweetheart and I would knock back a 1/2 case of this vile swill every night, needless to say, my bowels hated me.

Good ole' Dexedrine. If you're tired, and have a 22 hour day ahead of you, roll with some black market speed.

 There is no German music heavier or more intense than the original gangsta' Mozart and his Requiem.

Y

Your mouth does get a little nasty with all that Natty Light, cigarette smoke and speed...throw one of these in the fridge, and drink it all before you pass out.

A pack a night, every night you're studying...Makes a nice side dish with the speed, Natty light and black coffee

Grad School: By grad school, my tastes had improved somewhat, and I had a little more money, so Natty Light was shunted, as was Diet Coke. Not to mention, the stress level increased, and old-school speed just couldn't be on the menu anymore.

She's missing the coconut, but otherwise, yes, this is how you make a delectable Blue Hawaiian. The wussiest drink ever and my secret shame.

D

Here's a secret, unless you're on speed, or really high, Diet Coke is nasty. Diet Dr. Pepper is the schiznit.

A

You'll be stunned to know this, but I'm kind of a squirrelly, fidgety, overwrought Type A: About that time, my panic attacks went Mt. St. Helen's explosive. Enter my new BFF, Klonipin. 

Law School: No one wants to be the Natty Light drinker in law school. But, everyone is still desparately broke (most people, in any event). So, we put on airs and drink shit out of our budget...and a lot of it.

G

Good ole' Beck's Dark; still my favorite mass-produced dark beer. And, my dog. I love dogs, and played with my puppy and munchkin a WHOLE lot to destress.

Klonipin usage damn-near Doubled. These things were like Tic-Tacs for three years!

 Anyone who claims they got mad-laid in law school is a goddamned liar. You're too tired, too stressed, and too disinclined to have a sex drive, much less a sex life. Enter fervent, shameful, glum masturbation as needed.

Bonus: Bar Exam!!!

Trick question. Nothing helps for the bar exam...you can't drink enough, smoke enough, pop enough pills, or fuck enough to help with this monster of a test: The hardest exam administered in America. All you can do is throw on another pot of coffee and cry in the shower.

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Today's Hot Nerd: Librarian Tribute

I've always been of the opinion that a town doesn't really exist, much less have a soul, unless it has four or five essential things*:

1. A diner where people can gather for a good meal, coffee, dessert or just chitchat.
2. A pub or tavern to shoot some pool, have a drink and a few laughs.
3. Its own grocery store.
4. A community school.
5. And, a library.

It is to the local librarian that every child growing up in poverty learns that first lesson on the way to a better life: There are infinite possible worlds and possibilities for you...just pick up a book. To this end, I give you hot librarian pics as a token of my gratitude...

Admit it...it took you at least ten seconds to read the line after librarian.

I am firmly convinced that librarians are the root cause of all femdom fantasies, and it begins at a very early age.

S

So, so true...

I

  I have no idea if she's brilliant and well-read, but I would love to find out over a discussion of "The Story of O"...and, last, but not least....

Don't forget that Batgirl was a librarian...

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* NB: Most of the little dipshit places here in the Great Plains lack at least 2 or 3 of these; which is why you can't properly call them towns. In reality, they are conglomerations of five or six families scattered out over miles of farmland.



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