Who wanted Touchdown Jesus dead...

He is risen...
...but, I don't think it counts if he's styrofoam...

Above is pictured the largest Jesus depiction in North America, at a church in Monroe, Ohio. Standing 62 feet, with no pedestal, and carved out of foam, overlayed beneath a frame of steel beams. It doesn't look that big does it? I agree, the semis in the front sort of foreshorten the Christ. 

Would you like to see another one? To get the true scope of man's folly here?

Jesus...Lord of the sprinkler system!

However, problems arise when you build a gigantic metal tower, on a flat plain, and then cover it with styrofoam. You can probably predict how this turned out:

A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said. The "King of Kings" statue, one of southwest Ohio's most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m., Monroe police dispatchers said. The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained early Tuesday.

Of course, some might say that this really isn't a simple matter of science. The devout will probably pin the destruction on Satan. They would be closer than they think, because, I have it on good information and belief that the true culprit is....

Thor, the Norse god of warriors, strength, bravery, and the marshall of the storms!

CINCINNATI (MIDGARD)-  Details are sketchy at this time, but Odin-son, Thor, is believed to be the primary culprit of the destruction of the Monroe, OH "Touchdown" Jesus at this time. Police cite the fact that Mjolnir's hammer-shaped impression was found burned in the side of Jesus' face, and anonymous sources within the police department have stated "Look, it got hit by lightning, there's a big ass hammer print, so we know it wasn't Zeus..."

When contacted at his Asgard home, the surly Aesir chose not comment, although, according to eyewitness accounts, he did get smite-y on fellow deity, Heimdall, for letting mortals cross the Bifrost Bridge. 

Monroe prosecutors are uncertain about jurisdiction at this time, and one assistant in the office said "look, I'm not going to move venue up there...are you nuts? Besides, Thor may be the strongest, but he's in no way even the nastiest of the Aesir.  Hell, he's a good guy. Have you met his dad?!"


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