Guess who's NOT on the "most peaceful countries" list?

What the fuck are you looking at?

That's right, the good ole' Yew Ess Aiiiieee is, surprisingly not at the top of the list of the world's most peaceful countries. As you'd expect, it's by and large Northern Europe/Scandinavia (they're at the top of every list dammit!). Also, ahead of the U.S. are such idyllic places like Cuba, China, North Korea, and Luxembourg. America is actually 85th.

In all fairness, those "peaceful" countries are just jealous of our ripped abs and our ability to easily access HGH and high quality tanning supplies...

So, the U.S. can be a rugged place. Like that's a fucking surprise. The country was founded by misfits, criminals, Irish/Scot white slaves indentured servants, brutal slave owners, genocide, colonialism,  manifest destiny, and a preternatural ability to drop trou and flash our package at Ye Ole' Europe while blasting the shit out of them with the 2.3 guns every American is obligated to own. 

Just kidding Europe, besides Nazis, we really only do that shit to brown and yellow people. 

 Ignore 400 years of this...

But, perhaps the most interesting, although unsurprising, part of the report is that fact that countries with high atheism are among the most peaceful on the planet. However, countries where the theocrats hold sway, tend to be much much more violent. (P < .001). This is a mind-blowing statistical significance. While correlation in no way equals causation, it is at least something to think about when settling down for a good long retirement. At the very least, it should give you pause when looking at those parts of our own nation where there is a church on every corner...

Kill in my name...Kill! Kill! Kill!!!

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