4.03.2009

Today's Sexy Nerd: 1-900-Nerd-Girl



It is probably better that this is merely a spoof, otherwise my phone bill would be outrageous. Kudos to this one!



The WTF Blanket


I wonder if I could wear this while using my Lotus?

You know what, Americans buy too much shit. I mean waaay too much shit. Cheap plastic bric-a-brac, faddish comfort items, oversized cars, oversized homes, overpriced meals outside the home. And we all pay waaay too much for these decidedly non-necessary commodities.*

We, collectively, should all wear a "what-the-fuck" blanket...foolish consumerism is always better when you're cozy and snuggly!



*I am by no means immune to the above, nor do I necessarily cast stones. This is a descriptive, not qualitative, observation.

Your personal hygeine reminder.

Screw the toothbrush...look at that corset technique!


This Parisian lass stares back at us from the cold victorian sepia of 1899 and reminds us to brush our teeth.

4.02.2009

Today's Hot Chick...ummmmm

Somehow, I don't think that's the Very Hungry Caterpillar.


Some incredibly random, bookish cutie from Hot or Not. I'm going with smoking sexy.

Your Country is Fucked: Dominican Republic

Welcome to Greater Hispaniola, whose population has been fucked ever since Cristofo Colombo (Colombus) laid his darkened and greedy fucking Genoese eyes on it. You are, and have always, been fucked.

This gorgeous tropic paradise occupies the eestern third of the same dysfunctional neighborhood with Haiti (fuck you Haiti for Papa and Baby Doc, burning tires, and letting us shield you from hurricanes). Anyway, the Dominican is renowned for its beaches....


The same country that brought you this....


and its bitches...

Also brought you this...

And it's brutality...

And, sadly, this...Die, Columbus, die!!!!

Currently, this Banana Republic can't figure out why the hell it built its entire domestic production economy on two things that are the suxor. 1) Tourism, and 2) Real Estate. Granted. These would be good things about 12 years ago, but now, not so much. Throw in the occasional genocidal neighbor and the whole Haitian/Franco/Spanish/Portugese identity confusion and you get one hella' pretty, but hella' fucked country...admittedly, hella' hot girls, and hella' baseball players, but still it's like visiting New England: The people are ok, but the place leaves much to be desired.

The verdict is: The Domican is fucked.


4.01.2009

new tat, bitches! wh00t!







Look to your immediate right. See that lil' devil lawya'? Yep, that guy...he's gonna' be on my scant ass pretty soon courtesy of Grinn and Barrett tattoo in Omaha, with Jen as the artist (who fucking rocks BTW).

Why yes that is my real portrait.

I got nothin' for this...absofuckinglutely nothing.

Does this eyeliner make me look fat?

So, the GOP leadership blasts the Obama admin's budget in a press release yet the RE-Thugs do not release a budget and do not have one.

Then, on the day of their supermondohunormous presser, where John Boehner (R-Eyeliner) was holding forth, he still didn't have a budget for scrutiny!

WHAT THE FUCK!?!

Still didn't have one, didn't prepare one, didn't submit it for revision or inspection, but did A) dig on Obama in the FOX-owned WSJ for his and B) wear a lot of eyeliner.


The Spooning pillow!

Wow...I need this; a self-spooning pillow! This lil' hit was originally Japanese, but now it's come to the States with bells and whistles: tooth fairy bag, voice recorder, scent retention.

Behold, the MuMoocie!


Today' hot nerd: Jessica Chobot



Meet Jessica Chobot: smoking hot anime developer, game designer and writer/journalist. Nerd creds? Impeccable. Hotness? Ummm, yea.



April Fools: Thanks Google

Google gets a bad rap, but this prank for Gmail holders is priceless; the CADIE email autopilot. It allegedly scans your inbox and automatically generates a response for you, like so.



There is even a whole alleged "CATIE'S world blog"...

Dear god, this needs to happen so that I can write messages like this...

3.31.2009

I probably have sired a thousand bastards then...

My sperm can beat up your sperm.


According to this new story @ the Guardian, "wild, more energetic sex" leads to a 50% increase in sperm count, which thus increases chances for conception. Good for me, bad news for the MonkeyGirl though.*




*Ok, not really....I'm fixed.

today's hot nerd: Posh Suicide

Teh pretty

I am a sucker for Suicide Girls, for Macs and for brunettes. This spread restores my faith in humanity.

3.30.2009

There are two immutable rules in life...

1. At every interstate exit with a McDonald's you are also guaranteed to find a Subway.
2. If you own a black car, a white one will park beside you and will bang your vehicle leaving paint scuffs on your ride.

ARARARARGGGGGHHHH

Bybee and Yoo goin' to the Hague baby!

Glad to see that some people in the int'l community have the balls to do the right thing. Torture memo authors John Yoo and Jay Bybee are being criminally probed with "arrest warrants probable."

Then again, trying to enforce this in the ICC is going to be tough since we aren't signatories. But, since torture carries universal jurisdiction, I think it would be ironic if some guerilla burst into their homes and renditioned them to Egypt or Diego Garcia or Turkey. A boy can dream, right?

3.29.2009

Big hair...still sexy

Katherine McPhee, only made sexier by Big Hair.


Of all the horrific trends that have re-emerged reprising the '80's, there is one that I do not count as tragic. Big Hair.



Admittedly, big hair for the 'aughts is a tad more subtle than the original version, but whether you want to call it cock rock, mall ball, texas hair, etc. it's still the bomb, as Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and McPhee can all attest.

Big Hair Goddess Beyonce Knowles.

Kim knows that a few things never go out of style: Big hips, lips and breasts, with a coiffure to match.