Your Country is Fucked: Vanuatu

This tiny cluster of volcanoes, the taint of Australia and the Marshall Islands, is another one of those damned Melanesian paradises/banana republics. Fuck the Vanuatuans.

Vanuatu was founded, damned near entirely, by British and French missionaries. The problem with dueling enemies, who outnumbered the indigenous population, resulted in the creation of a fucked up system of government called the "British-French Condominium"; a convoluted system of governance where laws and disputes were made and resolved solely by an infrequently-held joint high court. I'm sure that worked well. Eventually, the native Austronesians got pissed and begged nicely...the New Hibrides (as they were called) were granted independence in 1980 and now sport the new appelation.

Their previous best exports were indentured servants, sandalwood, dysfunctional half-assed coups and some bizarre cult best known for the accumulation of material wealth through magic (shit, Dumbledore can't even do that). Currently it imports tourists and Lord of the Rings stageprops that have washed onto shore from New Zealand. This miniscule chain of volcanoes has an alleged president with the impossible-to-pronounce name of Kalkot Mataskelekele.

Vanuatu, you're fucked.

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