Devil's Dictionary: Some A's

In my perpetual quest to bring back the wisdom of antiquity, I'm dusting off the Ambrose Bierce, the acerbic author and journalist most notorious for The Devil's Dictionary. Here are some A's.

ABSTAINER, n.

A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

ABSURDITY, n.

A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

ACADEME, n.

An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is taught.

ACCOUNTABILITY, n.

The mother of caution.

ACCUSE, v.t.

To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.