Please note, that collar-popping is required.
Sometimes, I seriously debate killing my on-line self. There are whole websites devoted to destroying your Web 2.0/social media identity. The best known is probably the "Suicide Machine". As the site advertises:
Liberate your newbie friends with a Web2.0 suicide! This machine lets you delete all your energy sucking social-networking profiles, kill your fake virtual friends, and completely do away with your Web2.0 alterego...Our service currently runs with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and LinkedIn! Commit NOW!
Do it, do it!
But, there are of course benefits to some of these. In my case, I live in the middle of the country, with my friends and family scattered from North Carolina to New Mexico...so, not a cheap or easy or quick visit. So, some of these are undoubtedly good things; to connect with those you new, to get pictures of your friends and acquaintances lives; meaning I can't wholly commit Web 2.0 suicide. I am, however, thinking seriously of killing Mr. Bluebird over at Twitter. And, the reason why?
Rampant asshattery and raging douchebaggery.
Empirical fact: 89% of the Twitterati fall between Categories 2 and 3.
Do you think I jest, or exaggerate? Au contraire, there are whole websites devoted to the assholishness of the 140-character world. For instance, check out the collected "twiticisms" on Tweetdouche, and Tweeting too hard. Some choice nuggets include:
I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn't ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession.
Girl at the gym was checking me out, I could tell she wanted me. A Philly 8, but she had sweaty arm pits. I don't date girls that sweat.Look, Im not saying Im better at tweeting than you, Im just saying.. 120 people care what i say, about 30 care what you say @MatthewDonnelly
So, I think I'm going to off my Twitter, goodbye blue bird. I have no doubt that one day these media will have their place, but, for now...just too much clutter; too much douchery. It's a small step, but maybe one day I'll get around to just killing my entire web-self off. Until then, I leave you with the words of wisdom via DigiDonkey:
Being a great social media douche bag is obviously something a lot of people are interested in becoming. There are plenty of social media experts, webinars, seminars, guides, blogs, Twitter tools and other sources of information out there that will teach you how to be the best, or biggest, social media douche bag you can be.
Like you'd miss this guy