Two meals from away from a wolf...

Here's a story from my part of the world, and continued validation of two facts: The first is that dogs are the coolest pets ever; the second, is the old maxim that every dog is two meals away from being a wolf...

If you do not give this dopey family companion its Alpo, in a few short days...

She will get hungry and wolf out on you...

In Papillion, Nebraska (which, for some reason known only to midwesterners, they pronounce as Pap-ill-ion) just outside of Omaha, a middle age man had adopted two pugs, Harry and Sally, as his companions. Like a lot of the elderly or lonely, the dogs were his pets and, sadly, his only real company. And, like many of the home-bound and reclusive, when things happen --such as sudden death-- it takes a while before anyone notices.

Well, the two puppies had to eat, you know, so they did what dogs are want to do in the wild:

Two loveable pets are forced to survive by eating their owner’s dead body. The pugs named Harry and Sally spent two weeks in a Papillion home after the 51-year-old man died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Police don’t suspect foul play. A neighbor noticed there were no tracks in the snow from the home and called police last week.

Officers found the man dead and determined that his pets had no dog food. So Papillion Police believe the dogs survived by using their owner’s face, head and torso as a food source. The pugs were turned over to the Nebraska Humane Society. The director of animal welfare for NHS Denise Gurss told Channel 6 News, “There was not any actual evidence that we saw that there was blood or tissue anywhere on the dogs.”

Police re-enactment...

 The dogs have been deemed "loveable" and "well-adjusted" by the humane society, a spokesperson for whom stated:

"They're happy to have someone around them who wants to touch them," said Gurss. "They were thrilled to get a bath, jump up and kiss faces and see people. So I think they are going to be just fine."

That's not affection, that's tenderizing...

This whole story smacks of grisly doesn't it? But really, if you think about it, it's not. It's just dogs doing what they did for millions of years, hunting and scavenging. And, if you think for one instant that your beloved family member, companion and best friend won't do the same thing should you fall ill or die suddenly, well...let's just say that I'll be happy to let you test that hypothesis...

I will totally fucking eat you...