2.25.2011

The Albuquerque Spooge-Merchant is at it again....

Two weeks ago, I told you the frankly revolting, horrendous story of the Albuquerque deli man who was delivering a little something extra in the yogurt samples passed out to female patrons.


If you don't remember, then let this KRQE report fill you in:

A customer at an Albuquerque supermarket insisted last week that there was something gross in a yogurt sample an employee gave her while she was shopping.

Turns out she was right.


An Albuquerque police source said a Greek yogurt sample a Sunflower Market employee handed a customer was tainted with semen.

"I completely think it is disgusting," one customer said.

"Foul, beyond words," said another customer said walking out of the supermarket on Corrales Road and Alameda in Northwest Albuquerque Friday night.

Police got the test results earlier this week and told News 13 on Friday, the yogurt handed out by Anthony Garcia, 31, during his shift at the supermarket did in fact have semen in it.

"Absolutely disgusting; there is no way to justify that on any level," customer Keith Powell said.




Safest, sanest picture I could find...




Apparently, it wasn't just one isolated incident.  After the police did a follow-up, which involved testing the Sunflower's Greek Yogurt, they found a lot more of the guy's little swimmers.


Albuquerque police said DNA tests showed Sunflower Market employee Anthony Garcia gave his semen to a female customer disguised as a free yogurt sample, and police sources said the man may have tried the same thing at a different Sunflower location



There is no way to sugar coat this (poor pun?), but I can't think of anything more revolting than eating a stranger's refrigerated, yogurt-laced semen. Well, I can, but you know what I'm saying...At any rate, welcome to a nice prison sentence for battery, you nasty fucker. And, better hope that one of those ladies doesn't have an unforgiving boyfriend/hubby/Sig O, or you might (justifiably) be beaten within an inch of your life.


That said, the original proclamation stands: I'm done with yogurt.




 Come on, baby...let's do a lil' "Greek yogurt"...





-d.s.

1 comment:

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