Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: P-T

Alas, we are reaching the end of the Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures; those items for the discerning Goth-Professional, all priced at or under $30. I've tried to hit all phases of the milieu: clothing, accessories, liquor, smokes, beauty, sex toys, hair dyes, entertainment etc, just things to pamper yourself or a loved one.

So, let's get to it, shall we, featuring the last of the non-difficult letters of the alphabet. In the meanwhile, A-D is here; while E-J lurks in these shadows; and you can unearth K-O by going to this crypt.

Patricia Day Punkabilly Barbie

It's what I get for hooking up with a psychobilly chick. Predictably, the Horrorpops are one of her all-time favorite bands...

I do not own this doll; nor does the long-suffering Fetching Frau Schatten own this. However, her birthday is coming up, and I fully intend to purchase this item for her. Technically it's just a "rocker" Barbie (tm). However, it does not take too much imagination (or eyesight) to see that this was modeled after the Horrorpops' Patricia Day. So much so, in fact, that the lovely Mrs. Nekroman sued Mattel over it. Get it at TIAS.com for exactly $30, before it's the subject of a permanent injunction.

Nope, no resemblances there. 
Not even down to the hearts and blue birds...


Simply stated, if you've never heard Qntl, you're missing out on some of the loveliest darkwave this side of Faith and the Muse. Hailing from Germany, this medieval electronica evokes spanning shires, a quiet sexiness, and -- especially for that softer side in you, or for that special lady in your life -- is some of the most "feminine" gothic music being made today.

Entre moi et mon amin.

Be prepared for a linguistic warm-up, though, silly Americans. They are damned lingual, with tracks in High German, French, Latin, Italian and English. It's also very hard to find in most cities, but can be purchased/located at Euro Amazon for about $16 Euros ($27) per album.

Rick R. Reed

Der Schatten knows that not all of you are purely hetero-normative. That's cool. Not my thing, but then again, unless I'm the fuckee, whomever folks choose to share their genitals with is actually pretty banal fare. And, just because one swings for the fences or sword fights, doesn't mean that a lil' dungeon play can't be added to spice up your sex life/inner fantasy.

To that end, I give you Rick R. Reed, probably the most well-known of the Gay BDSM authors out there. But, oh no, it's not just kink. The man is the Stephen King/Barker of Gay Kink Horror (although, I think the comparison to Thomas Harris is probably more apt).

Obssessed, Available at Abebooks for about $25 w/shipping, is by far the darkest one.

"I kill, therefore I am Voices slam through the corridor of his wounded mind. The words of his dead sister cry out."

Seven Samurai (Collector's Edition)

Akira Kurosawa's 1954 masterpiece, and deservedly one of the top 100 films of all-time, Seven Samurai is like the Bible...you cannot be truly culturally literate until you've spent three hours meditating upon the bygone feudal Japan, from the mindset of a post-war Japanese director. Comradery, honor, bravery, and protecting weaker for nothing more than a little food, and the knowledge of a job well-done. It doesn't get much better than this.

$22.99 at eBay. 
Or, instant queue with your Netflix Subscription.


The wonder drug that works wonders. Technically a non-opiate painkiller, it is very effective in that role. For those dealing with chronic pains, aches, nagging issues, you can't beat it. It's non-sedating, non-euphoric (usually), and possesses an exceptionally low dependency threshold. 

Even better, it's got some nice off-label uses as well; particularly for anxiety, depression (one of the metabolites is an SSRI), and restless leg syndrome. At peak plasma level it also provides a sound night's sleep.

Best part? It's not a controlled substance. You can buy this shit off the internet for about $27/monthly supply (do your own Google searches, people!).

Better living through chemistry....

 We'll wrap it up next week, folks. Until then, consume!


  1. There's a chance you're qualified to receive a $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.

  2. Trying to find the Ultimate Dating Website? Create an account to find your perfect match.