Stumped by what to wear: Men, too, have this problem.

I'm seriously out of my realm here in the style department; let that be said first thing out of the gate. On the weekends, when I ordinarily go do physical activities, shop, and generally get caught up on the business of life, you will see me in a white/black/gray tee shirt, shorts and sandals. (Remember, it's 84 degrees and sunny every day, and this apartment -like many- doesn't have an air conditioner).

During work days, it's usually a dress aloha shirt/Polo and slacks or chinos, or traditional mainland business wear (Court days, sadly, are the only ones in which that I wear a tie (and I have a serious tie fetish. Besides, this isn't Honolulu or the East Coast where that sort of thing is de rigueur,  It's much more like the reservations I lived and worked on: People in full suits, besides being sweaty and uncomfortable, are viewed very suspiciously. Or, worse, as a Republican. And, trust me, we simply do not have Republicans on my Island (and that's also a shame...not the Republican part, but the lack of suit-wearing...I also have a suit fetish. Well-tailored, black or charcoal double-breasted ones, in fact).

 I see I'm not alone in that. BTW: I own that tie. Red ties are classic, powerful, and butch, dammit. This American Eagle shiny pastel shit has absolutely neutered the classic, clean, masculine suit.

So, Hawaii is the land of comfort and utility. But, there's one occasion that I wish to do this up right: My wedding. Yes, yes, Der Schatten is off the market (and has been for several years; although, the Fetching Frau Schatten may possibly share if you're a curvy brunette rocking the Black No. 1 <-- just one of many reasons I dig her).

Rest in Peace, Peter. Don't look at the Green Light...


Anyway, we're looking for suits to wear. I think the consensus opinion, as of this moment, at least,  is to rock the Morning Dress. Morning Dress looks a bit steam-punkish, as well it should. For over 200 years it has been the formal dress wear of the Royals. And, if you like jagged lines, and all the accoutrement and formal trappings, this is definitely your bag: Top hat, tails, gloves, cane, vest, etc.

Does this tie make me look like a doucher?

What I do not like about the traditional morning suit, however, is the heavy reliance on light gray. While I like gray, and it tends to look good on me, the above morning suit, for instance, is about as dark as morning suit slacks every get. In most cases, the color scheme for the vest and pants are reversed. While it is formal in Britain, I do not look good in, nor do I like, light-colored trousers.

Which brings me to my next option: The Morning Dress Tuxedo. There is literally very little that I don't like about this look, except for one very important fact: It is not only ridiculously formal, it will also likely be hot as shit to wear, while stand in the sun, on black sand and lava rocks, for an hour.


Finally, it should be noted that of all the colors in the universe of clothing, perhaps the one that looks the best are brown-tones. I have a natural brown/dark yellow undertone, so I can pull off interesting colors, such as cream and pale yellows; golds and tans and browns, very well. Being the vane prick that I am, perhaps something in the earth-tones would be just as effective?

Smug doesn't do justice to this guy's face...
My biggest concern with the brown suit, however, is that it's not quite formal enough. And, let's face it, unless you drop $600, the chance that a brown suit will look cheap is very very high. The margin for error in brown is razor thin, and you ride the knife's edge between beautiful and cheap looking. Also, I do not think this will match. Everything in the wedding is monochromatic: Black and white. Classic. Timeless. Appropriate enough for the visitors, yet with enough wiggle room to really trick it out.

So many choices; so little time (March 12th). One thing is certain, though: On March 13, 2011, our paychecks will be larger (c'mon, how could you think that two lawyers wouldn't consider the financial impact of signing the social contract? Benefits and tax breaks, as well as homebuyer credits and lowered consolidated student loan payments, are as good a reason to get married as any!).

So, what sayeth the blogerrati? Traditional? Traditional tux? Brown?


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