80s Childhood Fantasies, Part the Second

Last week, I detailed my love of ladies from Charles in Charge, the Dukes of Hazzard, Wonder Woman, and various other bad viewing. Today, I take a look at the girls who were closer to my age, whom I lusted after with equal zeal, only in a sorta' more realistic way:

Dana Plato: Diff'rent Strokes


She was my number one love and lust through childhood, combining equal parts devil and sultry (for a 14 year old, in any event), as well as any and ever bad 80s meme that came down the pipe: perms, overalls, Swatches, friendship bracelets, acid-washed skinny jeans. No one else on my list was a purer child of the 80s.

How I will always remember Dana; Audrey Hepburn eyes, angelic face...and bad hair...

 When you're 12, the whole teen-prostitute, roller-derby queen bit was fun to look at as well....

Dana grew up, became a super hottie, appeared in Playboy, and, sadly, after two decades of drug addiction and arrests, passed away in 1999. Requiem Aeternum, Dana.

Alyssa Milano: Who's the Boss

Alyssa requires no introduction, being one of the most devilishly sexy women currently alive; however, there were signs that this could happen, even when she was 14, and having her career stymied by Tony-freaking-Danza.

Yea, pretty much makes the surface of the sun feel like Fargo by comparison...

And, like Dana, she screamed "pure sin" to this preteen heart....only she had none of  Plato's "girl next door" thing going for her. Rather, she was a dynamo waiting to mature, or so I thought...

 

 You know what? My instincts on this one were so very, very good. For those seeking something a bit more prurient, there are enough NSFW photos to suffice it to say the 37 year old has taken her clothes off...a lot. (God bless her).

Nancy McKeon: "Jo" from Facts of Life

I do love the brunettes, and I do adore some cute tomboys, the character of Jo was seemingly the only one with any depth or humanity on that show...and, she was always in the background of Mindy or Tooty or the god-forsaken ditzy blonde. Of all my fantasies, this would have been the one I would have most liked to go have a beer with, and just chill...

Here she is today, a very elegant, still-striking, and very much a put-together, attractive woman. Instincts win again...You could see yourself marrying this one...

Sporting equipment, fixing motorcycles, suckerpunching Blair...was there anything she couldn't do? And, look at that smile. Dazzling. Of course, being a prepubescent hornball, I was very much interested in what she would look like without clothing, or scantily clad....

While that never happened, we did get the pleasure of watching the cute, but-awkward tomboy blossom into one very attractive young ladt. Thanks Jo!

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