2.18.2009

Wanted: Cute Alabama QB


This child needs to get her shit together-->*

Apparently our Dark Lord & Redeemer, Coach Nick Saban, took time out of his busy schedule (he's notorious for not having "time for this shit") to visit a class of 2nd graders at a Florence, AL elementary school. Apparently high on their list are the following: glue, cookies and...a Cute QB?

Kenzie Cornelius, 7, wrote about her favorite player and also had some suggestions for Saban concerning a new quarterback. "I loved John Parker Wilson; he was cute. I hope you get a new cute boy again," Kenzie wrote. "I hope you get another good team. P.S.: You rock and Roll Tide."

Hmmm. Apparently "Kenzie" hasn't learned what a hot receiver is...or how to avoid a sack...or look off a safety...or a pump fake.

God, "Kenzie", get that weak shit out of here. Do you honestly think your feigned precociousness is going to let you skate by without the rudimentary basics of whether your starter has good mobility or can make the throws? If it were my kid, I'd ground her, and make her read every last damned post at Smart Football until she got her act together.

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