1.26.2010

Hurts to breathe...

So much goddamned uncertainty; so much timidity; so much irrascability; so much recalcitrant digging-in; so many times telling myself...telling yourself, that it doesn't hurt. It does. It always has. It always will.


And. It hurts to breathe.




Time does not heal. Time only leaves scars...


What am I on about? A website called "So There", where people seek ultimate closure. It is life in all of its painful, rugged, rawness...and it hurts to even read. It will render you incapable of speech, of logical thought, and -in my case- the ability to breathe.



Excerpt? you say. Indeed:



I saw you last week, and all I can remember is staring into those beautiful brown eyes. I can still see the reason, why I fell in love with you. I fell in love with that wonderful personality of yours. I can tell you that look more beautiful than the last time I saw you.
I hope you learned to be a better person because of me. "The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall afoul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it."-Seneca. I still believe, we still love each other. We all journey through life wondering what will become of us. "Life's a voyage that homeward bound"-Herman Melville. 
I continue to wonder if I did anything to push you away from me, and I cannot come up with a reason. "Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul"-Democritus. "Words without thoughts to heaven go"-William Shakespare. 
These are the words, I am putting to paper. All I know is that it feels good to put my thoughts on paper. I continue on life's journey, and wonder what I will discover about life. My hope is I continue to be a better person. I am moving soon to another city to live. I hope that is letter reaches your hands, Yvette. I wish you well, and I hope you are well. 



Enjoy.





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