Trifecta of Suck: I dare you

This is the trifecta of suck: Yesterday, on the way back from Lauritzen Gardens for the Japanese Autumn Ambience Festival, I spotted a sign advertising a rockin' Hallo'eve event...I call it, the trifecta of suck. 
 
This is a simple recipe that takes one part distinctly pagan Autumn/Harvest festival and remembrance party for the dead:

Pic via Sea of Shadows blog

Adds ONE PART: "on ice"(...e.g., the traditional stomping ground for has-beens of skating):

That's not exactly sticking the landing, yo.

Just a dollop of Nancy Kerrigan:

Whyyyyy? Whyyyyy? My thoughts exactly, Nancy.

Then, for your listening displeasure, sprinkle the odious Mannheim Steamroller all over it:

This is how bad it is: Mannheim Steamroller is on the cover of AARP's mag this month...and that is sadly true.

Let simmer in a two hour cauldron of fail, then remove one steaming poppin'-fresh turd blossom known as the "Omaha: Mannheim Steamroller Presents: Nancy Kerrigan's Halloween on Ice"

Some things defy description.