More proof that Americans are retarded: Dane Cook

If you like this man, then you have no taste, subtlety, wit or brain cells...

Nope, me neither.

Seriously, I don't get the Dane Cook phenomenon...never had. It is a gross injustice that Mitch Hedberg, Sam Kinnison, and George Carlin have shuffled off this mortal coil and we are left with this turd blossom.

Think about this sobering fact: last year nearly 50% of persons graduating with a law degree from an Ivy League job couldn't find permanent placement within three months. We've got reported unemployment at 10.2% with actual numbers closer to 17.6%. Meanwhile, this douchebag earned $20 million for the below "wit" and "comedy"

Maybe if I talk about random shit in increasing volumes with increasing profanities someone will pay me too...

That extirpation was much needed. I feed about ten pounds lighter having exhausted my rage-ahol. Let's see what Dr. Perry Cox thinks....

"... so, if you want to solve a real mystery, go ahead and figure out who's taking my NY Times every Sunday, or, better yet, how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny..."

Speaking of awkward...sometimes you're just better off adopted...

Really, just a big teddy bear.

Meet Mr. Matthew Roberts. While Matt looks fierce enough, this 41 year old DJ is both a vegan and pacifist.  Matt is adopted. And, like so many other kids of adoption, Matt sought out his real parents. First he found mom, and mom told him that a long time ago she met a "hobo" she was entranced by....and that it really was in his best interest to leave it be.

Still being curious, Matt kept poking around, and then found his dad. Pops is currently serving time (life, to be precise) in San Quentin. No fun. Matt then found out who dad was....

HOLY SHIT!

Yes, the super laid back, but intense looking Matthew is the natural son of none other than holy-shit-Charles-Manson. While this apparently freaked out Matthew (and still does), he thought about the decision for five years, and then --get this-- wrote his dad in prison. Dad wrote back in his typical Manson style....

 

 

Looks like perfectly sane prose to me...

Now, Charlie is writing Matthew regularly...ten times, thus far. Which brings me to the obvious statement: sometimes closed adoption records exist for a damned good reason. Particularly if dad is a mass murderer with a proclivity to --ahem-- writing in a variety of medium.

S

Sorry. Couldn't resist...

tickling with feathers is sexy...

But the whole chicken, now that's just kinky.

You know, after enough drinks you'd hit that...

I've long given up on trying to figure out people's sexual idiosyncracies. I'm glad that we have these oddities and hang ups though: it makes the world a more interesting place. And, the upside is, a one-night stand can easily turn into cyber-stalking, late night scurrying in bushes, or the occasional dead rabbit.

I'm just sayin, you might want to take her for coffee instead...

 

However, some kinks are those that you just will never understand, not in a million years. Such as this little gem from Pittburgh's Craigslist....

click for biggening

Remember kids, it's a fucking sick world out there....

Holy. Shit. That is just plain kinky...However, I have no doubt that had he offered more than a dollar, tons of women would have jumped at the chance to have their own memorable tale and/or story latter recapped by a bad episode of CSI....

Monday is glad the weekend is laid to rest

Didn't sleep much at all...strange weekend. Glad it's over.

Lamb of God has consecrated it, and now it's "Laid to Rest"