Notre Dame Fightin Irish: Home of the Pansies?

Ok, I normally don't blog very much about football. I do love college football, though, and love it because A) Being an atheist, it's the only religion available to me. B) I played the sport from the time I was 5 until I was a freshman in college and got too dinged up, C) I am an Alabama alum, home of the most national titles in the sport, and D) It's a cultural thing, really.

That said, this post doesn't really have much to do with football. Actually, it's more about how the mighty have fallen, or how perceptions of toughness (and actual toughness) may not exist on the vaunted field in South Bend, Indiana. Home of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Touchdown Jesus wants Notre Dame to stop acting like pussies.

So, that brings me to this pitiful story...

Notre Dame’s leading tackler, linebacker Manti Te’o, has a broken nose but should be OK to play this Saturday when the Irish visit Southern California.

Coach Brian Kelly said that Te’o had his nose set on Sunday, is doing well

Huh? What? Please tell me that a reporter (preferably an idiotic student reporter) asked this question. Or, please tell me that it was a joke? A slow news day? For chrissakes, it's football. Te'o is 6'4" 240 pounds. He's a middle linebacker, notorious for being the nastiest position on field. And there was even a question that a broken nose would keep him sidelined? Really?

Put it this way: little boys break their noses in little league and pee wee and rough-housing all the time. What do they do? Certainly not hold press conferences, and certainly not even raise the question that their activities, a full week in advance, would perhaps be impeded.

Pictured: tougher than a college football linebacker?

-d.s.

This is the most awesome thing I've seen...

Entitled, "If Alabama Football Player were your job, then this would be your office"...From RBR, which I think got the reprint from an email circulating through Tide Pride (correct me if I'm wrong).

I'm only go to excerpt a few things, you really need to get over there and check it out; not only is it of particular interest for UA fans or football fans, but for anyone that's ever wondered what kind of facilities a modern student-athlete has his/her disposal at a major program

That is just an awesome poster...plastered throughout the weight room facilities.

And, judging from some of the motivational slogans, I see that I'm not the only one who's a big fan of Genghis Khan...

As the players leave the locker room and head to the practice field they have to pass by a pyramid of the logos of the teams they will play this season.

What happens to those logos as teams are defeated? Well, they are signed by every player that contributed to the victory. The signed placards are then placed onto a wall leading to the tunnel at Bryant Denny Stadium. Last year, for instance, we played 14 teams, and won every last one of them...However, the year before, we did not meet all of our goals, and those logos remain in the pyramid as a sign of a task left unfinished.

 Awesome...

There is so much more cool stuff there, including the roping off of the logo in the locker room, etc. The only think I can say is that it is well worth five minutes of your time to check it out.



.

In serious withdrawal, here...

no...not that withdrawal...

Moment of whininess here. I will be completely upfront. I do not watch much television...usually just stuff on History International, Nat Geo, The First 48, and college football. The latter is my particular love. The year is spent in anticipation of those 12-15 Saturday afternoons, where I can cook elaborate meals, drink cheap beer, and plop down to watch the boys of Autumn. And, it doesn't too much matter who's playing.

Mostly empty stadium, featuring two teams from the North Atlantic to which I have no ties, affiliation or rooting interests? Sounds great: Sign me up!

But now, my friends, now begins the long winter of my discontent, for there is no more College Football to behold. And, maybe that's a good thing, after an undefeated season, the University of Alabama's first Heisman winner, the SEC title and the National title, perhaps I just need to get back to the real world and savor the accomplishments.

But, that still doesn't explain what the hell I'm supposed to do until September 2010 rolls around...

Heisman-winner Mark Ingram's second TD iced the National Championship for Alabama this year...Great, now what the hell am I supposed to do for eight months?

.

 

Reality kicking me in the teeth

For now, enjoy the buildup the -OMGZ!!!- Game of The Young Century. Since last year's SECCG, it has been ordained that #2 Alabama will meet #1 Florida for the de facto national title...the Winner gets the Conference Title, and goes to Pasadena to all-but certainly play the Texas Longhorns for the Crystal Trophy.

No Blogging Today: Iron Bowl

The University of Alabama continues its quest for State, Conference and National Championships beginning today. This is the Iron Bowl, Auburn v. Alabama. The nastiest rivalry in all of college football. So, your humble narrator will be eating percocets and watching anxiously. Roll Tide.

Meanwhile, enjoy the School's "Mark Ingram for Heisman" video :)

Starkvegas: Pillaged...and so is my hand :(

In honor of the 31-3 thrashing of Mississippi State last night, I present you the below funny evolution of the game from 1997-present. Als, it seems as though I've broken my hand, so typing shall be necessarily minimal for the nonce

I recommend the volume option for the Mussorgsky track playing in the background

Real life time, kids...

Off to the grocery store, do some cooking and cleaning, then watching a lil' footbaw. Until then, let us do the dance of Happy Saturday as we do in my native land....

Okay, maybe that's not my people...looks more like a Seattler, Canuck or other such Freedom-Hater.

Via MoonBuggy. 

Saturday wants to see some pillaging....

Today your University of Alabama Crimson Tide travels to Starkville to play Mississippi State in a game that should be about as violent and one-sided as the Danish sack of Lindisfarne. For those who are exited about that prospect, please enjoy this reaving tune.

Otherwise, please watch the following Icelandic PSA with a thoughtful dating tip for taking Viking women on a date :)

That's pretty hot.

Profiles in Gangsta' Fail

I've well-documented my hatred of Tennessee, and all of their players. So, this morning, when two of their 5-star blue chippers were arrested for A) armed robbery, with B) a pellet gun, riding in C) a Prius, I jsut about pissed myself. And, behold, my tribute to the fine student athletes in Knoxville.

Fail, Tennessee. Fail.

Sunday Loves Champions

Thanks Freddy! Alabama 9-0 (6-0) is now your SEC West Champs and has just booked its ticket to rematch the dread and hated Florida Gators for the Title.

What makes it so wonderful...the love.

Iowa State, an ag school with a deceidly-abominable track record at most sports, went into Lincoln, NE and beat the 600 lb gorilla known as the Nebraska Cornhuskers. They forced 8 turnovers in the sloppy win, but the emotion and the heart is what makes this game. Good, good stuff...

Lane Kiffin: Straight Balla'

From Tennessee Volunteer football coach Lane Kiffin's Twitter feed:

looking forward to another great practice today and a huge game saturday...also a huge shout-out to Lil Wayne for boosting our street cred!

That is piss my pants funny, since his dad has been a college and pro coach (and mullionaire) for over 30 years...little Lane is a gangsta' 34, was born in the tough streets of Bloomington, MN, and while his peeps were out pimpin' tha' hoes, he was earning his degree in "Leisure Services Management" at Fresno State. But, yep, he knows from street creds.

Gang-Starr

The Third Saturday in October...FEEL THE HATE

Tomorrow is the Third Saturday in October* That means two things. The first, is that I will be drinkng myself under the table; the second means that it's time for one of the South's oldest, and most intense, football rivalries: Alabama vs. Tennessee. How bad is it? The first time the two teams played, there was a riot at midfield and serious injuries after the game ended in a tie. For a balanced, respectful history of the rivalry, I direct you the the interesting concept blog: Third Saturday in Blogtober. 3SiB is hosted and written by intelligent and passionate Alabama and Tennessee fans, and is dedicated solely to this game. For fans of the history and meaningfulness behind this game, there is no finer place.

The Third Saturday game, and its history, could literally fill up volumes upon volumes...the players, the coaches, the national and conference stakes, the animus, the hard-hitting toughness and physicality that defines the teams, the players and the people of these states. For pure nastiness, and shit-talking about whose fans are more redneck, it doesn't get any better or meaner than Alabama-UT.

First up: Takes on Tennessee:

This dude is douchy...but appropriately dismissive. Kudos.

This is Tennessee getting their ass kicked last year to the UT fight song "Rocky Top". Besides Dueling Banjos, it's the only thing their band plays.

Documentary of a day in the life of Tennessee's governor.

 

You know it's bad when lil' kids from Kentucky even think that Tennessee is full of hillbillies.

Next up: Tennessee's Take on Alabama

Truth is better than parody: This is your typical Tennessee Volunteer fan**: An ill-educated, pun-master of suck; an Oakley-sporting, goateed, out-of-work-roofer; a cousin'-touchin' moonshiner; an OxyContin-snortin' trainwreck of humanity. Seriously, go to hell Tennessee...I hate you all with a passion unmatched by the flames from the sun or the untreated herpes you got from your sister-mom.

*I know it's the fourth Saturday, but after league expansion, they screwed the pooch on this one...

** I say "fan", because as everyone knows UT is not a university at all...it's a football team and their tutors. 

You know what's a bad ass? The UNC Mascot

So, I was perusing the damn-fine football blog EDSBS* this morning, and there was a posting from last night regarding the North Carolina-Florida State game.** Specifically, in the humorous preview of the game, there was a section discussing the respective mascots: for FSU, the Seminole; and, for UNC, the ram. Orson brought up something that I had completely forgotten:  Rameses XVIII got his current gig as mascot by killing his father.

Stop this pissed off sheep before it kills again.***

I did a little more reading on it, and I am just amazed at how little pub this mean-ass goat got. According to the good ole' Wiki, the Bighorn Sheep can weigh 300 pounds, with horns topping out at over 30 pounds. And, of course, they are known for their violent collisions with one another for dominance and mating. "Prior to the mating season or rut, the rams attempt to establish a dominance hierarchy that determines access to ewes for mating. It is during the prerut period that most of the characteristic horn clashing occurs between rams, although this behavior may occur to a limited extent throughout the year."

Does this look like the face of a killer? Actually, if it wants to get laid, it sure is.

It was during one of these dominance displays that Pablo a/k/a Rameses XVIII killed his sire, then-mascot Rameses the XVII. "Rameses and Pablo shared a field at Hogan's farm outside Carrboro. On April 13, they butted heads, as rams are occasionally wont. This particular collision was so jarring that it snapped off one of the older ram's horns. An infection set-in and despite the antibiotics, it wasn't enough. Rameses died 10 days later." Holy hell.

I decided to check out for myself some of these violent collisions, and I've decided that I'd rather break up a pit bull fight first****. These mean bastards use dirty tricks, hits from behinds, double-teams, kick each other in the balls, and blast one other with their double-layered skulls. Check out the Nat Geo video below...

Dominance displays, violence to get laid, tenacious...how is this different from us?

*Seriously, Spencer Hall (Orson Swindle) does a great job. Fine writing no matter the genre, and genuinely piss-your-pants funny.

** Immaterial to this post, but FSU stormed back from 18 points down and won 30-27, thus lining my pockets with lucre, as I had the 'Noles at a 2.5 point underdog. Whoot

*** Dear god, those balls are obscene...Someone get Rameses some boxers!

*** Once, while (potentially) breaking federal laws by hiking in a restricted area of the Badlands, a bighorn sheep blocked my way to the vehicle...staring at me, grunting/snorting and pawing the ground very agitatedly. Had a ewe not caught his eye, I think he would have charged me...I have never been so scared of animal, either before or since. Moral of the story? Some areas are labeled "Restricted" for a very good reason.

Tim Tebow and the NFL draft

Interesting quote from Dark Overlord Urban Meyer, but one evincing a sentiment that I've had whenever I think about Tebow's future pro career:


"We have to do Tim justice," Meyer said. "If it's going to help him, we owe it to him to do it. At the end of the day, Tim is going to be a very good NFL player. If he goes to the right team and a well-coached team, he's going to be a very productive player for a very long time."


This "justice" is putting Man Child under center, helping him with his reads and improving his lateral accuracy. I have no doubt that he can do it, and -for this one time only- wish Tebow and Meyer the best.

Again, God Wears Houndstooth

I told you, God wears Houndstooth

Wanted: Good Sense

Excuse us, have you seen where we mislaid our judgment? Image via Tuscaloosa News.

Brandon Fanney, last year's third-leading tackler, and Doghouse King, Prince Hall (All-American Freshman, all-world knucklehead since then) have been suspended for Spring. In the case of the latter, it's indefinite.

Since Saban's arrival, Hall has seen less and less of the field and more and more of the pine and suspension time...for issues usually related to "violation of unspecified team rules, despite his talent. This time is no different. This kid is a headcase, I fear.

Speaking of beating on cripples...

The University of Wisconsin Badgers, Big 10 fixture over the past decade, has decided in its utter bravery to add the University of South Dakota Coyotes to its 2011 schedule.

I know USD is a I-AA team now (after decades as a d-ii power) but, c'mon, USD? But, then again, from some of the smattering of Message Board Warriors, USD might be in the Badgers' league:

(2/27/2009 2:46 PM)

Maryland Badger says:

Didn't we almost lose last year to Cal Poly. If my memory serves me right, they would have won the game if they had a kicker. Wofford and S. Dakota may be in our league as long as Bielema is coach.

(2/26/2009 6:29 PM)

MB says:

clowns,
The difference between Texas and Florida scheduling FCS schools is that UT and UF win Rose Bowls and National Championships year-in year-out. We schedule FCS schools and then proceed to get demolished 42-13 in Champs Sports Bowls. UF & UT-Austin have earned the respect from their fanbase and alums to schedule weaker opponents...we haven't won a Big Ten title in a decade and only have three more Big Ten Championships than the University of Chicago.

FIRE BIELEMA!!!

(2/28/2009 11:06 AM)

Leo the Lip says:

Memories of playing Nebraska, Oklahoma, LSU, Penn State, Notre Dame in the 60s and 70s grows dimmer and dimmer. It's sad.

T.O. to the Bills

Wh00t!!! Wh00t!!

T.O. the pride (and shame) of Alexander City, Alabama, all-pro nutjob is going to my beloved Buffalo Bills. We have Lee Evans on the outside, but not another demonstrable playmaker to take the pressure off of him (well, I guess Josh Reed in the slot, but that's just a slot position).



Last year, we were in the middle of the pack throwing the ball (about 30 atts per game for 209 ypg). But the production from the wideouts was awful, with only 14 tds through the air. TO has 25 in two years. Moreover, we carried a lead into the 4th or were within one score 7 times in 16 games. Yet, the inability to threaten teams through the air led to the sure loss in four of those...that's difference between 7-9 and 11-5. This year, we will win 10 and be on the outside for a playoff spot.

Great pickup!