Happy 1000th Post, Kari Byron

Thanks Kari...We've been through a lot.

 

This is Shadow's 1000th post here since Jan of '09. Without a doubt, the most highly sought after, trafficked-for content involves Ms. Kari Byron.

It's not pervy if it's in the name of science.

During that time, I've posted a lot of Hot Nerd Girls, a few gothic chicks, and a not-insubstantial amount of pinups. But, of the hundreds of lovely ladies, Kari Byron continues to capture the imagination (and SEO) of thousands of folks daily...that lil' popular post thing over to your left is reset weekly. the middle and bottom changes, but the top always remains the same.

C'mon...like you wouldn't watch her butt scan?

For those of you who came for Kari, but stuck around for the insanity and randomness, danke. For those who came for Kari, danke. Just remember, that as awesomely hot as she is, Ms. Byron also wields some impressive nerd-entials. It's the brain that counts, and the sense of humor. Long after we've all aged, and wrinkled, and (for some) gone on to whatever awaits, those are the things that are important.

But, until then...we can all agree that her in a silver bikini is pretty awesome!

-d.s.

Fuckin' Hilarious...

Hat Tip to multiple, multiple sources. Damnyouautocorrect.com

 Autocorrect. Awesome.

If you struggle with your iPhone's autocorrect feature (and, let's be honest, we all do), then you know that this particular "feature" very often results in far more gaffes, socially-awkward moments, and tersely embarassed apologies of anything this side of drunk dialing. Words pop up in permutations that make you look like a madman. However, even worse, is Autocorrect's apparent fixation with Anal and Dildos...as the program substitutes your word choices freely for things of a scatological nature.

Go pay them a visit, minions. But, for now, please enjoy some excerpts of truly laugh-till-you-cry/piss yourself-funny texting FAIL.

 

Hope that got your weekend off to a great start.

-d.s.

Fridays On Fire....

Not as much as this OUTSTANDING 15 year old. Haunting voice, incredibly gifted already, and --to top it all off-- covering the incomparable Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".

H/T Leanne Rose.

-d.s.

Lookie who posted about a celebrity...

I know, not normally my bag. But, I must say, this is pretty damned amusing.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

via Funny or Die. H/T JoshuaNotYoshua.

Not really a Lohan fan, and never really saw the appeal in her. However, there's something about the little ingenue in her in this videa that A) is pretty hot, and B) gives her mad, mad props for making fun of her constantly-rotating relationships.

Okay, I apologize. You are hot in a dirty sort of way...and surprisingly funny.

-d.s.

Stop me if you've heard this one before....

Getting tree-gnawing crazier by the day...

Arizona: Come for the stultifying Tea Partiers, stay for the on-going constitutional violations.

Oh boy. Arizona, the land that time forgot and progenitor of some sincerely crazy-ass right wing notions (the Gestapo-esque, 'show me your papers', "immigration" law being only the most recent), has outdone themselves in a big, big way.

Specifically, with a state law it intends to pass which permits the State to ignore or violate Congressional laws. 

Huh?

Haven't we heard this one before? If only I could remember....

Oh yea, that's it...

Specifically, the law does the following/is premised upon the following:

"The committee shall recommend, propose and call for a vote by simple majority to nullify in its entirety a specific federal law or regulation that is outside the scope of the powers delegated by the People to the federal government in the United States Constitution," the bill reads. "The committee shall make its recommendation within thirty days after receiving the federal legislation for consideration and process."

According to the bill, "no authority has ever been given to the legislative branch, the executive branch or the judicial branch of the federal government to preempt state legislation."

I don't even know where to begin with this. Since our nation was proto-founded nearly 400 years ago, we've had this go around several times before. Whether it was Massachussets threatening to leave, or Maryland threatening to secede, or South Carolina actually seceding, or the failed Articles of Confederation, the battle for the hearts and minds of states' rights has been a consistent tension in our Nation.

This whole notion, though, smacks of some shit that eerily led to one War, one Reconstruction, and violent, phasic enforcement of Federal law for the benefit of some state citizens.

Again, we've seen this before. For the uninitiated, that's Alabama Gov. George Wallace with the proverbial "stand in the schoolhouse door". That "door" is really the old Coliseum, where my grad office was housed. I'll show you a pic of me in front of the plaque one day.

Simply put, States have long contended that they have the right to abnegate/ignore Federal legislation that gores one axe or another. Be it over slavery, integration, or now -immigration and Obama's 'socialism'- it all comes back to one very vile fact, that says terrible things about us: At its heart, the states' righters have racist, fevered imaginings of a better Ur; one founded on the "right people".

Fortunately, it's a settled issue. As if the Civil Rights turmoil of the 50s-70s didn't address it, and as though the Civil War didn't settle it, it's always been the case, that States cannot circumvent or cherry-pick laws they do not like or do not wish to enforce.

As for Arizona's contentions that "no authority has ever been given to the legislative branch, the executive branch or the judicial branch of the federal government to preempt state legislation", well, that's just plain fucking silly.

In fact, I think there is a long-standing document that specifically addresses this twat-tarded idea...if only I could remember.

Oh yea...that's it.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Read that last clause carefully.

-d.s

Thursday apologizes

Apparently, the posts I pre-drafted never came up yesterday. Including, sadly, the Imbolc greetings to one and all.

Imbolc, or St. Brigit's Day, marks the traditional waxing into spring for neo-druids/neo-pagans, and the like. Halfway between Solstice and the Equinox,  it's a pretty important day, even here in the States.

Huh? Silly superstition, stupid pagan nonsense some would say. True that may be, but why do we still recognize the importance of its arrival in the Western, non-Imbolc sphere?

 Ever heard of Groundhog Day?

Anyway, for my witchy kin and kith, happy Nos Gwyl Fair Imbolc

Wednesday got back on track...

...thank god. Tons of fights with "real world" entities; wrote two briefs in a day-and-a-half, and have been trying to run 5 mediations/arbitrations while preparing for a March Wedding and two May trials.

Der Schatten is overworked, undersexed, and grossly underpaid.

Still, I'll take that over the alternative: Underworked, unpaid and non-sexed.

Not that it's relevant to you and I, but last evening we watch the follow up to PBS's 1991 "Dancing Outlaw" (Jesco White), a fascinating, and frankly touching documentary about the rest of the Mountain folk and the White family specifically. Got me in the mood for some dark, dark bluegrass.

If this doesn't bring the fear of god into ya', nothing will...

Dr. Ralph Stanley's evocative "O' Death".

My great granny used to sing this us when I was a wee kid in North Carolina.

American Gothic, yo.

Stay warm, America...

Image via Nasa

Seriously, this some Old Testament, get-all-smite-y, wrath of God shit descending on you mainlanders. Stay warm & be safe. 

I'll just sit and suffer in 88 degree weather, sunshine and perfect nights.

J/K...I spent 6 years in Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota. I'm entitled to shudder (and taunt) from afar.

-d.s.

"Vampyre," "Satanist", Rebublican...

One of these things is not like the other....

Then again, maybe so.

Just when I have renewed faith in humanity, we get the story of Jonathan Tepes Sharkey "The Impaler". A crytpo-"vampyre" and admitted "Satanist", you gotta' admit, he doubles his selfish douche factor right there. If there were any doubt about emotionally stunted, emotionally 15 year-olds, then "satanists" and people who truly believe that they can partake of the sanguine arts are right up there.

Yep, seems mature to me.

I usually have no problem with people who want to run around and claim they are actually vampires (correct spelling, yo), claiming that they are acolytes of Hecate, She of the Three Ways, and profess their love for the primal selfishness and inner id within (talkin' to you, "satanists"). However, when they interject themselves into our lives and the public sphere, then we've got beef.

Specifically, Mr. Sharky (no, I'm not calling you the 'fucking impaler'...Nicknames have to be earned, not self-selected, twaddle merchant), is running for President of these United States.

Oh, yes, you heard me correct.

As you'd expect from a self-centered, megalomaniac, Mr. Sharkey is, of course, a Republican. However, given his alleged "Satanism", I'd definitely think Libertarian would be right up his alley. What, then, does someone who professes his love of wrasslin', blood-drinking, and impalement base his platform upon?

Well, let's say that he's certainly not soft on crime.

“‘Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled,’ said Sharkey. ‘Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I’ll beat them, torture them, dismember them and decapitate them.’

 

Interesting position for a man to take who's been imprisoned, ran out of jurisdictions and the like for statutory sexual relationships that verge on the pedophilic...

Sharkey has drawn jail time, probation, and controversy over the years for his relationships with women—and the legal system of numerous states, as we've recently reported. "Let's just say I prefer to sink my fangs into younger women," he told us. And his recent YouTube proposal has touched a nerve.

Where I come from, Sharkey, pedophiles are the ones who get tortured, castigated and murdered...even in prison. When a rapist or serial murderer considers your ilk beneath contempt, time to re-evaluate.

Suffice it to say, I'm not at all impressed by a dumpy, balding, egomaniacal scumbucket who preys on 16 year old girls, and -in all other respects- shapes his other decisions for shameless self-promotion of deluded schlock and juvenile trash. It takes damn more than self-serving motivation and half-assed literacy to run for anything other than a 5K.

And, the worst part about this is that true practitioners of alternative faiths, and those with a fashionista towards Dark Victorian and Romanti-goths will be ultimately tarnished by this. Hell, even Anton LaVey is rolling over in his grave right now: Anton was banging Jayne Mansfield and this twat is exploiting children? In all respects this a lose-lose proposition.

So, no, Mr. Sharkey, you're unfit for civil society, unfit to lead, and unfit to be trusted beyond the boundaries of your imminent ankle-collar.

Truth is a bitch.

So, ummm, no. Not voting for ya'.

 

Tuesday's gotta' do better.

Yesterday may have been one of the least explicable days in my life. 'Real life intrudes' does not do it justice, as Monday turned from merely bad into potentially one of the most stressful days of my adult life.

As usual, Pete & the Bums from Staten Island nail it...

Type O Negative's "I don't wanna' be me (anymore)"

For what it's worth, I still can't believe Peter Steele is dead. His absence has left a void in the music world. Certainly not a hero or a role model (hell, probably not even a decent guy), but he brought something to the table sadly missing --originality and earnestness.
October Rust remains one of my five favorite albums, without a doubt.

-d.s.

How did Monday let this happen?

Somehow, between working all day Saturday, and dicking off on Sunday, I walked into the office with full-blown panic....way too much to do today for comfort.


Regrets? Yea, a few. Speaking of which, please enjoy the classic Peaceville band, Anathema. Along with their label-mates, My Dying Bride, they set the standard by which all 90s British despondent music is judged by.They began as typical doom, but moved to Rock'n'Sad/Prog stuff (a la Canaan).

This one is one of their more subdued offerings, but still wonderful.

Anathema, "Regret"

"As I drift away... far away from you,
I feel all alone in a crowded room,
Thinking to myself
"There's no escape from this
fear
regret
loneliness...""

-d.s.