I'm done with yogurt...and so are you.

 Oh, just the act of physically swallowing.

No reason. None whatsoever.

Der Schatten has long been put off mayonnaise. Now, it seems, that I must be done with yogurt.

According to the Smoking Gun,

A 28-year-old victim was shopping with her daughter in the store’s cereal aisle when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store’s dairy department. After accepting Garcia’s offer of a yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and, cops reported, “said it tasted like ‘semen.’”


In a handwritten statement, the woman said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman recalled that when she talked to manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”

The woman paid for her groceries and returned home, where she told her boyfriend about the incident. She told of how Garcia had “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how taste it.” The woman and her boyfriend eventually returned to the market, where they summoned police.

I wish I were kidding. A woman is approached by a dirty hippie in a Farmer's Market, with a puddle of goo and told "eat it" "eat it". And, she does. Despite the fact she has no idea what it is (beyond what's she told), that the guy only has one sample (pardon the pun), and that she's in front of her daughter, and is meant to be a role model of positive, responsible behavior.

So, what does she do?

She eats the shit, naturally.

As much as I wish ill on any psychopathic asshat that does this to folks, you have to think that deep down, way in our visceral past, that people like this --the ones that ate the strange mushrooms-- were the very ones that didn't live to reproduce and spread stupidity genes. Ah, the modern society, thwarting Darwinism for 160 years, eh?

Anyway, if you'd like some horrifying reading materials, please check out the pdf (also from Smoking Gun), of the complaint sworn out to form the basis of the warrant. Disgusting.

Enjoy your Taco Bell "queso"

-d.s.