White trash and Cash for Gold (as seen on TV!)

Really, did you expect anything more?

I spent a lot of my formative years chillin' in North Alabama, very close to the murderous hillbillies in Tennessee. We had an exceptionally low opinion of them -not only for their lack of dentition, but their overall White-Trashedness. This little gem is not out of the ordinary:

WAYNESBORO, Tenn. -- Twenty-two-year-old Tim Holt of Waynesboro, Tenn., was arrested after being accused of crawling through a dog door to jewelry from a neighbor, officials said in a Florence, Ala., TimesDaily report.

Waynesboro Police Chief Keith Reeves said Holt is accused of breaking into a residence on Wayne County 99. "We got information that he had bragged to some people about how it broke into the house when the woman was gone," Reeves told the TimesDaily.
The jewelry was sold to Cash for Gold and a portion of it was hidden, the chief said.

This story is just so much fail, and so tragically redneck. Sneaking through the doggie door? Selling your loot on CASH FOR GOLD for fuck'sake? Well, what would you expect from a state that has adopted a coon dog as its mascot...

GENIUS!