Der Schatten does not believe that being the worst actors of a generation in anyway qualifies one as a vampire..."undead", certainly, because they are brain-dead zombies, but not vampires.
I was going to rant, and rave, but I realized that I don't need to. You all know that Twilight sucks. Ham-fisted, overacted, leaden prose, wooden dialogue, Mormon proselytizing, etc etc.
These two could totally take out the entire "Twilight" milieu
I tried to read that horrendos horsehit on three separate occasions. I wanted to know, to understand, just what everyone thought was so cool. Well, that's what I get for actually listening to people...Everytime I tried to read that nonsense, I threw said book across the room, screaming a torrent of invectives and/or profanities, usually along the lines of....
You tell 'em David...
And most nauseatingly, this whole "and the lion feel in love with the lamb" horseshit. Know what that's from? Huh, fuckers? Here's a clue...READ ISAIAH 11:6....MORMON VAMPIRES!!!!
You stake 'em, I'll take their caffiene-free Clamato Juice.
Anyway, New Moon comes out tonight, and I am horrified, simply horrified that I have to (again) hide from 12 year old girls. More appallingly, I have to listen to the ravings and fan boi shit from those grown-damned-women who absolutely know better but are lacking in taste and/or literacy.
Dear Buffy, can you please come out of retirement ? I've unearthed a clan of really easy to find, douchy bloodsuckers in Oregon who are totally after kids...K Thx Bai.
Your take on the overly-media-exposed vamps is magnificent. Vampires are a sub-genre of horror, they are intended to be scary, mysterious, rebellious, sometimes sexy bastards, and even on occasion down right hilarious, but never emotional sparkly little high school brats. An applause from me to you. Bring out your dead, give them blood, watch them kick some a$$. Fin.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly :)
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