Finland is the appendix of the Baltic: Is it vestigial? Part of Sweden? Russia? Does it still have a purpose? Or is it just the Montana of Eurasia?
Tervetuloa Suomi, or, Welcome to Finland. This is the 8th largest geographic country in Europe. With an area the size of Montana, it is home to a mere 5.3 million people. Five million people have a hard time making the economic engine purr, so, as you'd expect, it is still a heavily agrarian economy, with herd animals, self-sufficiency farming and ore production augmenting the cell phone exports all Scandinavian countries excel in. In many respects, then, it is like Montana...sparsely populated, small economy, barren landscape, and really, really cold.
Ahhh, spring fever in Helsinki.
Finland is one of the more nondescript (but truly interesting) of European nations, and there is some sincere doubt as to whether it is truly European at all. First, its ethnography is a bit dodgy: From the 1100s to the 1700s, it was a sole part of Sweden, and Swedish is still spoken here as a second language. But, digging a bit deeper, you find the Lapps or Sami people, the famous reindeer herdsmen that form the largest Finnish minority group...and they are nothing at all like Europeans: They more closely resemble ethnic Tatars in Russia, and were the original Finns.
A: Contestant, the answer is 'Not European'. Q: What is 'Nominally Caucasian people in a teepee,' Alex? A: Correct.
This identity crisis is reflected by several historical facts. Besides the aforementioned annexation by Sweden, there is the continual stake to the region that Russia claims over Finland. And, the linguistics would bear their claim out: The Finns (going all the way back to Tacitus and the Fenni peoples), speak an Urgic language. Only Estonia, Finland and North Asiatic nomads (such as the Samoyed) speak this Siberian Plain offshoot...it has no other counterpart in the world, much less Europe.
Hey Finns, you know who else liked teepees? The Northern Plains tribes in Montana.
Second, almost nothing is known about Finland until the 12th Century besides a few scattered facts: It was settled much later than the rest of Europe (8500 CE), developed writing much later (12th Century CE), and did not engage in the 8th-10th century European raids that the Swedes, Norse and Danes were famed for. They did not go-a-viking. Rather, the Finns minded their crops, and tried to scratch a living out of the permafrost that covers 70% of the landmass...It's as if Europe moved on, and Finland remained trapped in the prehistorical era.
Eastern Montana: Also cold, agragrian, desolate, and stuck in the Dark Ages...not that different from most of Finland's history.
Of course, the great wheel of time goes a-spinning, and even the Midwest of Eurasia was bound to change; that holds true for Finland. The nation was "annexed" by the Czar of Russia in the 18th Century, and remained part of that Kingdom until the early 20th Century, when the Finnish Wars of Independence took root during the global upheavals of 1917-1920. Finland gained its independence, but had to constantly fight off the Russians. Perhaps you've heard of the Winter War?
With the world teetering on the edge of destruction in 1939, the Finns and Russians still found time to duke it out on the frozen plains. Wouldn't you all rather just be having some hot cocoa?
The Finns having gained their independence, now have a fully autonomous, if not wary, State. But all is not fun and games in Reindeer land. The economy has not exactly fostered in a 21st century world: In fact, the outlook is pretty grim. Finland is 25th in public debt, 32nd in oil import debt, has a .4% production rate, is transitioning toa service-based market, and debt accounts for over 40% of the Finnish GDP. Second, there are smatterings of demand for the lost region of Karelia, which Russia won in the Winter War. No wonder Finland has compulsory military service and has a standing army of roughly 1/5th of the population.
Besides that, Finland doesn't really bother anyone, and most people leave Finland alone. Today, when most people think of Finland, they think of one thing: Its beautiful capital, Helsinki, and the role that city played in hosting the 1975 negotiations between the old monliths of the East and Western Bloc nations. But, all in all, like Montana, Finland is fucked, but not as much as you'd think...it is fucked only to the extent that it is forgotten.In fact, Finland is the least fucked country I've summarized yet, and, as a reward, I present a random hot Finn...
Helsinki women > Montana women
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