Some B's from the Devil's Dictionary

Real life is seriously kickin' me in teh teef today. In the meanwhile, enjoy some B's from the Devil's Dictionary

These are Jack's teef. These are Jack's teef getting kicked in.

BACCHUS, n.

A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

BACK, n.

That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.

BACKBITE, v.t.

To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

BAROMETER, n.

An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

BARRACK, n.

A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive

BEAUTY, n.

The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

BEFRIEND, v.t.

To make an ingrate.

BIGOT, n.

One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

BIRTH, n.

The first and direst of all disasters...

BORE, n.

A person who talks when you wish him to listen.