Happy Hallowmas: Remembrance of those who have passed

Not much blogging today, in honor of the Hallowmas, a time of remembrance for those who have left us. I will perform my normal Hallow'eve ritual tonight: baking the grains of the Earth with love and care for everyone who has passed beyond. I will pour a dark spirit for each of their smiles and tears and laughter and words. And I will light a candle for the brief light that was their life. So, take a minute today to remember your loved ones, but -by all means- have fun, and be safe.

Requiem Aeternitas.

“There are stars who's light only reaches the earth long after they have fallen appart. There are people who's remembrance gives light in this world, long after they have passed away. This light shines in our darkest nights on the road we must follow.” -Talmud

Happy Halloween: Be My Prey!

After Dark by Seraphim Shock.

Enjoy

Beware the Witch-Cursed Candy...

This is Satan. He likes candy.

Here's some news from our right-wing, god-licking friends at Pat Robertson's lil' digs, CBN: Apparently, not only is Halloween the Holiday of Satan, but, unbeknownst to all of us, all of these years, "most of the candy sold [at Halloween] has been dedicated and prayed over by witches" (ed. note: what the fuck?!)

He really, really likes candy corn.

Yep, not only are candy, Halloween, trick or treating and monster movies Satanic, but now, even the damned witches have gotten in on the act. They've introduced curses to those without the good sense to have their Godly, psychic defenses up.

Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Shit. We're going to have to get busy. The U.S. will sell 1/4 of all its candy in one night, and106 million people will participate in trick or treating. But, there's only three of us.

This "Blog" is worth a read for its breath-taking stupidity, its incredible credulity and the stultifying 15th century superstitious mindset evidenced by these people. Now, would you like to hear something really scary? These people vote...in a 21st century democracy*

 

BOO!!!

*Got some brain cells you want to kill? Check out "The Halloween Deception" at the very lucid (snicker snicker) website, Exposing Satanism

The South Will Rise Again: With Cooties.

If she's a Tri-Delt, she's just as apt to have them too.

I devote a great deal of oxygen and send a lot of love to my homeland, the sovereign nation that's been occupied by Yankees since 1865
, the South. Among the things I (righly) extoll are the phenomenal regional cuisine, perfected by decendents of African and Caribb slaves and the Scot-Irish who settled the area. The South is truly America's cornucopia, with bountiful fish, fowl and game, dozens of fruits, nut and berries, legumes and all the vegetables you could ever want. So, big ups for Southern food.

 

We win this one every time.

I also (rightly) extoll our cultural and regional love affair with college football. The NFL is for the North; Hockey is for Canada; Baseball is for the summer --and the summer only; Basketball is largely forgotten; and Soccer is for communists. Any glib research on the subject will show you how different it is, being not only our metaphor for war against the rest of the United States, but also our own peculiar secular religion of sorts.

This is Bear Bryant. He is Alabama's, but he defined Southern football for three decades. We win.

I could go on about the decency of the people, the things we've overcome together, the scenic beauty, etc. However, there are other things that make one less proud: Southern Baptists come to mind, the occasional redneck that sets everyone back forty years, idiotic overly pious and nearly-insane corrput politicians, the clearly defined class struggle, etc. But, the one thing we've got to be most worried about, are cooties.

Sure, I'll come back to your house. It doesn't matter that I don't have a condom? GREAT!

Yes, cooties, particularly crotch cooties are rampant in the South. I think it's a product of religous life choking out available information on STD prevention, sometimes shoddy public education, poverty, the fact that we really like to party. Whatever it is, there is no denying that we simply do give one another non-lethal STDs at a staggering rate. Look at this chart from the CDC...

As you can see, with Syphillis the South really represents: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas and Florida all apear in the Top 10. While 70% of the  "clap" States are also Southern: South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Louisiana and Mississippi. And, of course, we gotta' represent on Chlamydia, and Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia and Tennessee can help you there.

 

Yes, the Southern Belles are cute, especially at Ole Miss...What? Read below?

Der Schatten is pleased to award Bonus Points to South Carolina which finished in the Top 3 in two Categories (Clap and Chlamydia), and DOUBLE POINTS to Mississippi which finished First in those categories. Again, there's nothing to worry about, it's non-lethal and is all in good fun. The South reminds you enjoy the ride, but make damned sure you get tested.

Sure I been tested baby. It don't matter anyway; generic penicillin is just $4 at Wal-Greens

H/T to O, who had this link in one of his features a few days ago.