The grim profession...

Referring, of course, to law. Besides medicine (and sometimes exceeding our friends at the AMA), there are few jobs as taxing as being an attorney, and few things that implicate the totality of a person's life like the law can. Deprivation of liberty, deprivation of fisc, vindication of rights: It's all a big deal.

Because of this, the law (and lawyers) can be a bit grim, and decidedly cynical. You are dealing, after all, with people, in all of their decidedly fucked up glory and pathos. In that case, then the law is just damned funny.

When emotions run high, what better way to show someone they're a dick than fake an assault...in open court.

What better way to thwart that civil suit than announce, under oath, at the deposition that you're going to lie?

Sometimes lawyers get sued, and are then deposed...It's like losing your "cherry"

You've heard that if you can't afford an attorney, one will be provided for you? You should take the court up on that...It beats faking a heart attack.

This is how NOT to answer a deposition question when you've been busted lying...

And, the CLASSIC deposition fight between in-house counsel, plaintiff's bar and the defense attorney. Everything is bigger in Texas...including the assholes...

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