South Dakota: The land that science forsook

I've dumped on Missouri many, many times as my second-least favorite state in the union. Number 1, is and shall remain, the State of South Dakota. This god-forsaken banana republic is run by a cadre of ill-educated, xenophobic, racist, theocratic boobs.

 

The only good thing to come out of this shithole were the tribes who slaughtered Custer's illegitimate band of terrorists.

This most recent bill, in essence denying climatic change, is but one illustration of the typical South Dakotan mindset:

  WHEREAS, carbon dioxide is not a pollutant but rather a highly beneficial ingredient for all plant life on earth. Many scientists refer to carbon dioxide as "the gas of life"; and... 
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, by the House of Representatives of the Eighty-fifth Legislature of the State of South Dakota, the Senate concurring therein, that the South Dakota Legislature urges that instruction in the public schools relating to global warming include the following:

            (1)    That global warming is a scientific theory rather than a proven fact;

            (2)    That there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative; and

            (3)    That the debate on global warming has subsumed political and philosophical viewpoints which have complicated and prejudiced the scientific investigation of global warming phenomena; and

    BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the Legislature urges that all instruction on the theory of global warming be appropriate to the age and academic development of the student and to the prevailing classroom circumstances.

That's a great piece of writing: Cosmology and Astrology influence climate? This is one of the least intelligent, shoddily written, pieces of shit to come out of a state besotted by Fox News mentality and reasoning. That's a great fucking job there, guys. But, I applaud it, and think it needs to go further. I propose that we start teaching the following as well...

Phrenology

I do believe there is something to this whole "criminals have sloping brows" theory....

Birth Order Theory

 

Those damned middle kids are always so ambitious...

Alchemy

  
 

As a "science" it's definitely been around longer than climatology. Now, where's my phlogiston?

Divination

  

 C'mon, if we're willing to concede that astrological factors are important in climate research, then the Tarot Deck is a valid instrument for those purposes.

Eugenics...\really, what could go wrong?

  Besides that...

I have no idea what the hell is wrong with that state, those people and that entire vacuum of intellect, but -even from Omaha- I think they are way the hell too close to me, and I can't wait to escape all of these imbecilic, shitty, landlocked states and the people that populate them.

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