Your Country is Fucked: Dominican Republic

Welcome to Greater Hispaniola, whose population has been fucked ever since Cristofo Colombo (Colombus) laid his darkened and greedy fucking Genoese eyes on it. You are, and have always, been fucked.

This gorgeous tropic paradise occupies the eestern third of the same dysfunctional neighborhood with Haiti (fuck you Haiti for Papa and Baby Doc, burning tires, and letting us shield you from hurricanes). Anyway, the Dominican is renowned for its beaches....

The same country that brought you this....

and its bitches...

Also brought you this...

And it's brutality...

And, sadly, this...Die, Columbus, die!!!!

Currently, this Banana Republic can't figure out why the hell it built its entire domestic production economy on two things that are the suxor. 1) Tourism, and 2) Real Estate. Granted. These would be good things about 12 years ago, but now, not so much. Throw in the occasional genocidal neighbor and the whole Haitian/Franco/Spanish/Portugese identity confusion and you get one hella' pretty, but hella' fucked country...admittedly, hella' hot girls, and hella' baseball players, but still it's like visiting New England: The people are ok, but the place leaves much to be desired.

The verdict is: The Domican is fucked.