Gothlaw

Moving day...

2011-09-20T09:03:00.000-05:00

Morning world,

As you may have noticed, this one has been on hiatus since about April. Lot of real world betwixt then and now, notably a bar exam and getting killed at work. As a result, this little corner of madness has been pushed aside.

Love you, Johnette

I've missed it, yet I realize that it is untenable in its current form. But, in typical compromise fashion, I've decided to try a different approach. One that will allow me to dump some short term thoughts and the like on willing victims.

So, I'm moving to Tumblr for the foreseeable future. Predictably, the URL is http://gothlaw.tumblr.com Come pay me a visit, I'll pour you a drink, and we can share some thoughts. But, for now, 'tis moving day...hope to see you soon.

Did I mention that my new digs are cozy?

-d.s.

Can't read law news anymore...

2011-04-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

It's a shit show, for real. Terrible rulings/actions the past few days. Kentucky ruled that the State Bar can restrict an attorney's public expression; South Dakota is trying to remove a judge who called cops racist for profiling Indians; the 9th Circuit ruled adversely to homeowners seeking just compensation for regulatory takings....

...ugh....Just a bad week.

So, let's tone this down a notch, with an Emo Alpaca.

Bring it, cruel world...

h/t Jonathan Ivanco

.d.s

Sighday is here...

2011-04-15T12:52:00.000-05:00

Couldn't come a second too soon, either.

Long, weird, wild week. Like a microcosm of Bipolar disorder: Ups, downs, never level...often in the same day. Holy shit, am I exhausted.

No one describes it better than the Man in Black.

Trent Reznor, okay, I get it...this is yours

But, no way is it cooler than Johnny Cash.

There are few things that are.

.d.s.

WWII in one 5 minute animated .gif

2011-04-14T16:31:00.000-05:00

Reality, you've been trumped.

Truth is Truthy...

.d.s.

Coolest Mug Ever...

2011-04-14T14:24:00.000-05:00

Not too much into the accumulation of stuff...But, I do love some coffee, and more particularly, I love coffee mugs.

I have found a new one to add to my collection, and, I'd more than willing to bet some you folks would rock this bad boy too.

Pure awesome...I especially like the notch for cookies.

H/T Neenz

Mug available at Uncommon Goods for less than $20!

.d.s.

Fuck Yea! Thursday

2011-04-14T13:51:00.000-05:00

Got some great news today...personal, legal. Still, it felt good.

Now, just need to find a way to get off the Island, and back to the mainland. That, however, is a story for another time.

What shall we play today, lads and lasses? How about...

Fuck yea!

.d.s

Wednesday's Geeked Over Playoffs...

2011-04-13T12:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight, out long national nightmare concludes. The Stanley Cup Playoffs finally begin. In it's honor, I have begun the PLAYOFF BEARD, the most venerable of Lord Stanley's traditions...

Max Talbot, of my beloved Penguins, rockin' a great playoff beard...

My efforts aren't quite as impressive; however, I am only 7 days into my Playoff Beard...

Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all...

But, this morning I'd like to share with you two of my other favorite things about the Stanley Cup playoffs, one so happens to be of the musical variety, the other, awesomeness....

FIRST, the Penguins Goal Horn....

BWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

SECOND, there's nothing like listening to the Blackhawks' iconic "Chelsea Dagger", particularly when it comes at the expense of the ~~choking~~ perpetually choking Vancouver Canucks.

Schadenfreude never gets old...

Anyway, have fun kids and let's hope for a helluva' lot of fun over the next few weeks!

.d.s

Truly good news for the Planet...

2011-04-12T18:37:00.000-05:00

Sunrise in Eden was rocked out today, and, for good reason. I found the most kick-ass, feel-good story ever today. One that should make the Earth pretty pleased (or, at least somewhat optimistic)...

You mean you do love me?

According to the Guardian, Bolivia is about to make serious, serious history-changing law with the passage of A Ley de Derechos de la Madre Tierra (The Law of Mother Earth)

The country, which has been pilloried by the US and Britain in the UN climate talks for demanding steep carbon emission cuts, will establish 11 new rights for nature. They include: the right to life and to exist; the right to continue vital cycles and processes free from human alteration; the right to pure water and clean air; the right to balance; the right not to be polluted; and the right to not have cellular structure modified or genetically altered.

Controversially, it will also enshrine the right of nature "to not be affected by mega-infrastructure and development projects that affect the balance of ecosystems and the local inhabitant communities".

"It makes world history. Earth is the mother of all", said Vice-President Alvaro García Linera. "It establishes a new relationship between man and nature, the harmony of which must be preserved as a guarantee of its regeneration."

Hmmm, I wonder where I've heard this before...

Oh, I'm sure the proposal/law will be plenty ridiculed and patently ignored by those who want to exploit Bolivia's natural resources (cuz that's never happened before *wank*). And, let's face it, the legislative preamble is all kinds of flaky

She is sacred, fertile and the source of life that feeds and cares for all living beings in her womb. She is in permanent balance, harmony and communication with the cosmos. She is comprised of all ecosystems and living beings, and their self-organisation.

But, as a first step, and an eye-opening first move? I'll absolutely take it. You know who else would?

Dumpster Muffin, that's who...

.d.s.

100% Topical Tuesday, promise

2011-04-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

This may seem like an odd choice. Edenbridge's "Sunrise in Eden"...but, trust me, later on it's gonna' make a helluva' lot more sense.

Not to mention, the guitar work in the jam-bridge this one is fantastic. Think about "so good, you'll weep".

Beautiful, beautiful song.

Beautiful, beautiful musicianship.

.d.s.

Sad news for the First Amendment*...

2011-04-11T13:23:00.000-05:00

*lest I rehash this here, my feelings on creepers are pretty well set. I am however, much much more worried about abuse of the legal process for a quick, cheap political kill.

Philip Greaves, world-class creeper and author of the notorious "Pedophiles Guide" (a/k/a a code of conduct for creepers to stay within the boundaries of the law), was -as you may remember, the subject of an attempted indictment by the State of Florida. A cheap, grand-standing political prosecution, based upon "obscenity", was set up for a quick-kill and cheaper political points.

Well, it worked. Greaves pleaded no-contest/nolo in exchange for two year probation, to be served in his home state, and not having to register as a sex offender. The result of the settlement/plea means that he will continue to keep on, keeping on: nothing has changed, except that he's now considered a criminal, whereas previously he had no criminal record.

Defending pedophiles isn't my bag. But this was just horseshit from the word go. Carry on with your regularly scheduled march to the police state and brain-dead, uncritical populism.

Full story at BBC

.d.s.

Blue Monday...

2011-04-11T13:10:00.001-05:00

Both a theme, and an excellent 1983 tune from New Order.

Yep, waaaay better than Orgy's cover of the same.

.d.s

I defy you to not laugh...

2011-04-08T16:45:00.002-05:00

Ladies & Germs, this week's absolute win...Have a drunken/stoned/debaucherous weekend miscreants.

Where is your god now, mofo?

.d.s

Fuck a Nebraska Judge right in the ear...

2011-04-08T11:49:00.000-05:00

In the srsly wtf category, via ~~agitprop literature~~ American Bar Association Journal comes this heart-felt story of judicial emphathy

Advocates for rape victims are raising concerns about a Nebraska judge’s threat to jail a 24-year-old woman who is refusing to testify about alleged childhood sexual abuse.

Huh? Por qua? Que? What the fuck?

Judge Paul Merritt Jr. of Lancaster County said the woman would be held in contempt of court and jailed for 90 days if she doesn’t testify, the Lincoln Journal Star reports. His order was stayed pending the woman’s appeal, which argues she will face disgrace and humiliation if she testifies.

Do it, goddamit. Do it!!!

What kind of horseshit is this? Lady doesn't want to testify to horrific abuse. The prosecutors may have to find additional evidence to make their case absent her cooperation. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot...she's already made their fucking case for them:

The alleged victim cooperated with investigators last August, reportedly getting Riensche to admit to inappropriate touching in a recorded conversation, the Associated Press reports. In March, however, she refused to answer questions in a deposition.

So, let me get this straight. She cooperated with investigators, gave them enough to get the creeper to essentially hang himself, and now, because she no longer wishes to aid in the investigation, via deposition, then she will be jailed? Lookit, I understand the Defense gets an opportunity to depose the lady. I do. But, the guy has already admitted to molesting her. Why doesn't the defense counsel do the right fucking thing here and settle/plead out this piece of shit.

More importantly, why issue jail time to a woman who's having to relive trauma which all-but assuredly fucked her up...at the risk of imprisonment. Inherent contempt powers can be tailored much more narrowly than this. So, why not?

Whether you're 24 or 7, it all hurts, Fuckface.

-d.s.

Friday: So far, so good....

2011-04-08T09:53:00.000-05:00

Now, enjoy a fucking hilarious, yet brutal start, to your day...

...and yes, I do have some things coming. What? I have no idea, but there are about 12 things half-done, so I'll pick 2 or 3!

Fuck and Yes, please.

.d.s.

Fuck Thursday...

2011-04-07T13:00:00.001-05:00

Started by waking up too early, then another quake in Japan, followed by a fight (which, I fear, will not be the first of the day, but hopefully the only one with this person).

Not particularly angry. Just apathetic. And, tired of being spoken to as though a child.

So, have some thumb-sucking for your shit Thursday.

Fuck it.

We all deserve this...

.d.s.

Tribute to the first Horror Film.

2011-04-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

The German Expressionist film, 1902's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

If you're so inclined you can Google all of the wonderful (and occasionally supremely flaky) discussions of German Expressionism contained therein, and the impact that the film had on later noir film-makers.

Or, just follow this link (cuz I'm a sweetheart) --> http://tinyurl.com/455rdeu

Anyway, enjoy, and I'll see you kids later.

Sleep tight.

.d.s.

Guess what? Mind. Blown.

2011-04-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

Humanity may, just may not be the center of the universe. Hate to break the news to anyone still living in pre-Renaissance feudal Europe.

I wish I could embed this fantastic Flash piece Portugese site, HTwins.net. Therein you get the true scale of the Universe, and all life, features and matter (hypothetical or otherwise), from the impossibly micro (Quantum foam), to the boundaries of this plane of existence (930 million light years across).

Please, go now. You won't be disappointed, although you might be humbled...rightly so.

The universe is so vast in scope that our frail simian brains cannot even fathom it without caving in ourselves.

No petty description of hell or heaven or eternal delights or silly superstition puts humanity more in its place than pondering the imponderable that is our universe...and possibly our multiverse.

H/T Felice Fawn

Wednesday is NOT winning...

2011-04-06T12:33:00.000-05:00

All but won my arbitration yesterday, thank you limine hearings. But was a long, long day.

Wednesday here is gloomy, raining and otherwise humpday 'meh'. Still, that's cool, maybe people will leave me the fuck alone and I can get my work done (or just get drunk in the office).

Let's have some appropriate apathy/self-loathing music, shall we? From New Orleans hails the progenitor of the Southern Sludge style: Crowbar. These guys are living legends, never mellowed one bit, and importantly, their lyrics are solely based on pain, self-loathing, anger, anger over pain, pain over self-loathing and self-loathing over anger (I believe you get the point now).

This little ditty has the appropriately uplifting title, "I have failed".

Do not listen to these lyrics if you've just been fired.

Trust me, I did it once...surprised I'm still here to tell the tale.

-d.s.

Congrats to Rogue and Jess of the Cruxshadows...

2011-04-04T18:35:00.001-05:00

What a cute couple...

Jess Rogue and Rogue from the Cruxshadows are owed a great big Shadow Shout-Out. After living in sin for over a decade, the two got married last September. But, this weekend, even larger news to report...The couple had a munchkin. And goodness is she cute :)

Well, she wasn't cute then...

Seriously, congrats to the pair. They've made great music and a great relationship for a decade. What happens to the Cruxshadows is anyone's guess. I suppose there will be a real quick maturation process and some introspection. But, no matter what happens, even if the ride ends with us, their journey is just beginning....

36 hours? Fashionably late aren't you young lady?

.d.s.

Our species is doomed. DOOMED!

2011-04-04T14:24:00.000-05:00

Why today, you may ask?

boobs.
breasts.
tits.
tatas.
teats.

Gaugin wants to know what's the big deal with breasts?

Whatever you call 'em, they are clearly evil...at least to one deranged nutjob at the National Museum in Washington...

From the Washington Post

Screaming “This is evil,” a woman tried to pull Gauguin’s “Two Tahitian Women” from a gallery wall Friday and banged on the picture’s clear plastic covering, said Pamela Degotardi of New York, who was there.

“She was really pounding it with her fists,” Degotardi said. “It was like this weird surreal scene that one doesn’t expect at the National Gallery.”

Want to see the "EVIL"? Of course you do...It's Gaugin's "Two Tahitian Women", and so clearly trafficks to our base, prurient interests that it has no artistic merit. Whatsoever.

pr0n

There is some good news to the extent that some people (mainly ones visiting museums) don't take kindly to the attempted destruction of an international treasure...

“She was really pounding it with her fists,” Degotardi said. “It was like this weird surreal scene that one doesn’t expect at the National Gallery.”

The woman who allegedly attacked the painting was “immediately restrained and detained” by the museum’s federal protection services officers, who charged her with destruction of property and attempted theft, Ziska said in a statement.

The painting’s alleged attacker was “tackled by a guy who was visiting the gallery,” Degotardi said. She described him as a social worker from the Bronx.

So, well done Bronx social worker. And, well done to save the painting. As of this writing, no damage has been reported.

...of course that does nothing to diminish the fact that our entire species is well and truly fucked.

h/t Kleph

.d.s

Monday's Late Start...but at least you get a great band...

2011-04-04T14:13:00.002-05:00

Denmark's Volbeat. A bizarre combo of metal, punk, rockabilly and country-swing.

I love these guys. Hope you enjoy 'em too :)

Fantastic.

.d.s

Thursday is having a helluva weird one...

2011-03-31T15:00:00.002-05:00

Not a great one, not a shit one either.

In these moments of exceptional weirdness, only one thing will suffice: The Cramps...

Bikini Girls With Machine Guns...

Another classic.

.d.s

WTF? And not in a good way...

2011-03-31T13:46:00.000-05:00

Apparently, GoDaddy.com CEO Bob Parsons has a dick the size of a thimble...Otherwise, I can't understand why on God's Earth he would do the following:

This year, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons went on an African vacation and shot an elephant. He recorded the whole thing on video.

There's one scene where a swarm of "hungry" villagers rip flesh off the dead elephant.
All the villagers are wearing bright orange GoDaddy-branded hats, too.

Parsons says he did it because the elephant was eating villagers' crops. Opponents say there are non-lethal ways to solve that kind of problem.

And people wonder why I detest humanity....

Totally understand, big guy....

Anyway, if you're down with the killing of an endangered species, and yet more human depravity on display, here's your vid. In the meanwhile, I'm really glad I'm not using GoDaddy.com for any of my hosting needs.

Seriously, what the fuck...

.d.s

Oh, Internet, I can't quit you...

2011-03-30T11:29:00.000-05:00

You truly are the gift that keeps giving. If I need to waste time at work, amuse myself with dick jokes, watch porn of the variety only available in Berlin, or just check the scores of a D-III football game, you are there for me...

Why yes, I would like some People's Wagon fucking, please.

[unzips trousers]

But the internet is so much more than an idyll; sometimes it provides you with jaw-dropping instances of why humanity, as the dominant species, can't continue on indefinitely....Like so...

Via AOL

Richard Simmons, the fitness guru best known for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" exercise videos, is now teaching air travelers how to avoid a disaster.

Air New Zealand has recruited the ever-enthusiastic workout guru to recite the in-flight safety instructions in his own emphatic style.

WTF?

RICHARD FUCKIN' SIMMONS, THAT'S WHAT!!!

Sometimes words just don't do just to the WTF factor here...But, here's a partial transcript....

"Hi, everybody, In the next three minutes we're going to work hard, work out and get you fit to fly," Simmons begins.

"First let's stretch it out, and loose that baggage. Stretch it up to the overhead locker or slide it under the seat in front of you. Stretch and slide!

"Yeah! You're a giraffe!"

And, you didn't think I was going to let you go without the video, did you?

AND LET'S KICK BUTT!!!!

-d.s.

Wednesday Insomnia Breeds Misfits...

2011-03-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

Went to Huggo's last night: Easily my favorite upscale restaurant here in Kona (although if you want to drive to Mauna Lani or Waikoloa, there are some serious restaurants up there...including a very nice Ruths' Chris near the Kings' Shops).

Anyway, stuffed myself on Kona Brewing Co. Fire Rock Pale Ale, Lobster cakes w/Aioli, NY Strip, potatoes, asparagus (and filched a lil' of Monkaygirl's Taste of the Islands Linguine). So came back in a food coma...likely drunk...and crashed at 9:00.

Lo and behold, ten til three and what happens? Wide. The Fuck. Awake. Not like I have to make a 5 hour round trip drive or anything today, then get back and write a brief...not to mention it's humpday. If I survive today, raise a glass in my honor, cuz I'll probably be drunk by noon.

On with the show: Today's selection features a lil' band you've probably heard of...they adorn the denim jackets of punks and metal heads, and have for almost three decades. You can see the iconic logo just up above (feel free to 'Apple click-Save as'). But, we're not gonna' do the newer stuff. Nope we're going back to the OG...Glen Fucking Danzig. Runty powerbroker of trash metal, and progenitor of the "devil lock" haircut (of which, your's truly once rocked).

Last Caress...it's a classic.

You are welcome.

-d.s.

Miss VHaven..

2011-03-29T15:01:00.000-05:00

Slammed today, kids. Enjoy the absolutely beatific, pup-tent-inducing, MissVhaven, via, Pinup Post.

Divinity has a face (and some bitchin' shoes!)

-d.s.

Tuesday found some grungy rock n' roll....

2011-03-29T13:41:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of Bo Hicks, booze-slingin', Whole Foods-memorizin', Chinese Dentist-playing musician/bartender/homie; and of course, the Kracken of wellthatscool.com.

Artimus Pyledriver: Awesome, awesome stuff. To say this is Lynyrd Skynryd meets Motorhead is a very apt analogy.

Enjoy kids. And, hey, if ya' like goins' on, dick jokes, and southern stuff (dogs, sad bears n' bees, football, beer, music, etc). then check out Well That's Cool, and also Tower of Bammer.

Swamp Devil...

Awesome!

-d.s.

Gettin' down on Friday

2011-03-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

By now, you're all familiar with the abortion of tween-tainment, Rebecca Black's "Friday" (<== no way am I linking to that). In all of its autotuned, musical oblivion and lyrical inanity, it could be the worst thing published in the musical catalog over the past decade.

But, it does lend itself to a particular dark humor.

Enter Matt Mulholland, with his own brilliant, but depressive take on "Friday" (and Fridays, in general). A buddy of mine, a lawyer in Alabama, sent me this on Twitter. And, felt it necessary to share because A) it's funny, and B) this is exactly how I spent my Friday: Verge of angry tears, head in my hands, trying to get drunk enough to make it all go away....

...it didn't work.

The upside is, I did laugh sardonically for an hour as I kept this one repeating on my iPhone. Perhaps you will get a lil' enjoyment or catharsis out of it?

H/T to Espyonaj.

d.s

"Liberation" of 'Ghan...We are monsters (NSFW)

2011-03-28T12:50:00.000-05:00

Another day, another round of liberation from the brave U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan.

I'll put a big jump in this one, but just know that what you are going to see is VERY VERY graphic. It depicts the actions of America's Kill Team in Afghanistan: displaying severed heads, mutilated corpses, murdered teenagers, and other such depravities.

We have no business here. None. What. So. Ever.

Like every other would-be conquerer of Afghanistan, we have resorted to depravity that is near-unimaginable: Happened to the Moghuls, the Mongols, Alexander of Macedon, the British, the Soviets, and now us...as though history were at all irrelevant.

Anyway....BIG JUMP NOW.

Holmes took to carrying Mudin’s severed finger with him in a zip-lock bag. “He wanted to keep the finger forever and wanted to dry it out,” one of his friends would later report. “He was proud of his finger.”

Cover-up photos courtesy of Der Speigel & Rolling Stone.

Excerpts quoted & (c) Rolling Stone 2011.

On January 15th, 2010, U.S. soldiers in Bravo Company stationed near Kandahar executed an unarmed Afghan boy named Gul Mudin in the village of La Mohammad Kalay. Reports by soldiers at the scene indicate that Mudin was about 15 years old. According to sworn statements, two soldiers – Cpl. Jeremy Morlock and Pfc. Andrew Holmes – staged the killing to make it look like they had been under attack. Ordering the boy to stand still, they crouched behind a mud wall, tossed a grenade at him and opened fire from close range.

The rest are far too graphic for even my stomach to handle. Suffice it say, the links above show the vicious, brutal, inhuman and barbarous actions of the "Kill Team". And they are not alone. If anyone thinks for one second that a drone that kills tens of innocent civilians is a more sterile warfare, then you are sadly mistaken.

War is a sick fucking enterprise, and not a single one of the actions we've been engaged in since 2001 has been justified. Not one. Afghanistan didn't attack us; Iraq didn't declare war upon us. And they have every good reason and right to continue killing U.S. soldiers as long we continue with our imperial follies: We are the invaders, and every nation -every person- on the planet recognizes the right to self-defense.

The face of terrorism...and it isn't the little muslim child....

The photos collected by soldiers included many shots of local children, often filed alongside images of bloody casualties. At one point, soldiers in 3rd Platoon talked about throwing candy out of a Stryker vehicle as they drove through a village and shooting the children who came running to pick up the sweets.

-d.s.

Monday has got to do a better job...

2011-03-28T11:53:00.001-05:00

Absolute doldrums.

Still getting my ass kicked with Sr. Partner out of town.

Getting kind of pissed off at Hawaii: Love the locale here, but the people aren't the greatest: I live in Geezer-Central. If I hear one more motherfucking piece of shit Jawaiian/Reggae/Hawaii tune, or light jazz, I may stab someone. Not to mention, this is a remote place...If you're not down with all-outdoor activity, all the time, then you probably don't want to move to West Hawaii. And, trying to find folks to hang out with is im-fucking-possible.

And lucre. Filthy, nasty lucre. So damned broke because our entire economy is based solely on fossil fuels. The slightest variation in fuel prices, sends a spike that ripples hellishly across the fiscal landscape: Produce becomes a luxury commodity; essentials become prohibitive. (and because I signed a shitty contract last year, but there you go).

So, there we are. Really pissed off this morning; primarily about practicing law, money and being really fucking isolated out here. Maybe it'll pass. Who knows? Who cares? I'm going to go have a drink.

On tap today is whatever I feel like doing :) (but, I do want to update the City of Refuge...got some more information that I need to add to the record and correct).

But, until then, let's have some Deicide, because it seems like an appropriately pissed off kinda' tune...Fuck Your God (and it does have some pretty sweet zombies).

Brutal. Simply brutal.

-d.s.

Thursday Misses Drunk Metallica...

2011-03-24T13:55:00.000-05:00

Listened to "...and Justice for All" over the weekend, and lord is that album still powerful, powerful stuff. And, it was the last of Cliff Burton (RIP) and the old, awesome Metallica.

In tribute of drunk Metallica, I give you the shit that didn't suck.

Black Tee Shirts; grungy hair. Alone in a warehouse.

This is what Metal was meant to be...

Incidentally, the film "Johnny Got His Gun", based on the excellent Dalton Trumbo novel of the same name, is a depressing, powerful statement on war and the grist mill of trench warfare. The fact that Donald Sutherland is Jesus and Jason Robards is Dad just steals the show.
If you don't weep or get a bit unsettled, then you're probably not human (or a Republican).

Wedding from Hell: Surviving Tsunamis

2011-03-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

Just another day in the neighborhood.

Good god. Let's never do that again, shall we? I am about to weave you a tale that would make the children from Lemony Persnicket's "Unfortunate Events" gnash their teeth in anxiety. Putting it shortly, everything was a freakin' abomination of Biblical proportions.

In that "wrath of god" way, let's talk about the biggest calamity, and one that's not terrible humorous: Japan's 9.0 earthquake off the Sendai Coast, in the Honshu Prefecture. If you think 9.0 sounds pretty massive, that's because it is...It is the 4th largest earthquake in recorded history: And, because of the algorithm used, it actually winds up being about 1000 times more powerful than the ones that struck Kobe and Haiti. And that ignores the hundreds of magnitude 5-6.6 quakes that were started all along the Ring of Fire...

Hundreds....Everywhere.

Surrounded by water, and unstable earth for thousands of miles.

And, as the people of the Pacific Rim could tell you, yours truly included, this wasn't even the worst of what was to come...No, the worst --for that day, at least-- was the massive tsunami that was spawned. A tsunami isn't like a beach wave, that undulates in gently and floods everything...It's a buckling of the sea floor, which raises the water level by tens and dozens of feet. When you live near the coast, all it takes is 2-4 feet to flood you out. Japan got hit by an immediate 30 foot wall of water, killing tens of thousands and causing tens of billions of dollars of damage....

And it was without warning....

Sure, you say, that's Japan...What does that Island archipelago have to do with Hawaii, which is 2000 miles away? Let me answer that with this observation. We, like Japan, are on a fault line; with our shores being simply seafloor ramps from the earth's bottom. That makes any sort of rise in the water level potentially deadly. And, since we largely live on the coasts, it makes any tsunami damage potentially crippling.

There's also the matter that Tsunami energy travels thousands of miles, largely unimpeded.

Note the Purple area of tsunami energy: It's half the size of Australia...

I'll spare you my evacuation details: Suffice it to say, I spent a sleepless night, with a dozen people from my wedding party, getting drunk in my office. After the dawn arose, we moved to a "tent city" further up the hill. The scariest part, as the tsunami is blasting us with 8-12 walls of water, you can't hear a thing...dead silence except for the sound of waves and water crashing that you normally here.

But it wasn't just a little splashing: It was an inundation along the West Coast. 53 homes destroyed, 1 swept off to sea, dozens of businesses and resorts damaged/destroyed, hundreds of people out of work, and $300 million dollars worth of damage in toll.

And this was a "small tsunami"

This guy is a dumbass, but I'm glad he was...

You can get an idea of what 8-12 feet of water coming at you looks like.

...and it went on for hours...

This says nothing of the irradiation coming our way via the trade winds, Japanese refugees, destroyed economies, and a week of dangerous surf, dangerous critters and god-knows-what washing up on the shores of Paradise.

But, one of the saddest things is that Pu'uhonua o' Honaunau, the City of Refuge, was destroyed (yes, where I was going to be married two days later). For two thousand years, this was a place of asylum for those who violated the caste system, committed taboo (kapu) acts, or were displaced survivors of war. If you made it to the city, you were granted clemency, if not then, like so many other acts in Hawaii at the time, you were killed.

We don't have pictures yet, but my understanding is that the Great Wall has been completely destroyed, the ancient canoe village washed out to sea, the great temple (heiau) damaged, and myriad human remains swept away and uncovered after hundreds of years of rest.

No word on the tikis...

Thus, while we were comparatively lucky, all is not right in paradise. And it's a damn shame. But, not a single person died here, and for that, we are even more fortunate.

-d.s.

Monday G'nite: Tuesday G'Morning

2011-03-22T00:29:00.000-05:00

As I understand the current very fucked up DST, y'all on the East Coast are now looking at a sleepless night if you see this: It's about 1:30 a.m. on Tuesday. here on the Islands it's a peaceful 7:30. And, for my many peeps on the West coast, it's almost bedtime...a healthy 10:30.

Been gone for three weeks for a great many reasons, and, because I'm a fucker, I'll actually share them with y'all later. But, let's get your Monday night off in a peaceful way, and start your Tuesday with a depressive number:

Lake of Tear's "To Blossom Blue".

Norway's finest sad-ass band. Miss these guys...

-d.s.

Going on Hiatus

2011-03-02T12:03:00.001-06:00

As y'all know, February has been really sporadic. Dealing with surgeries, preparing to take over one of the attorney's work loads while he's on vacation, getting swamped with my own work...and the simple matter of a wedding.

Like this, only without wings...

March 13, 2011. At the City of Refuge, before the sight of one of the most bloodthirsty gods on the Island (KU, war), the long-suffering Fetching Frau Schatten and I will be ending our years of living in sin, and joining the millions of other Americans raking in the tax benefits, shared student loan consolidation, and first-time homebuyer credits.

Really, one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

Last night, the first of dozens of people started arriving. The Meathead flies in on Friday. And, simply put, I'm going to be too slammed over the next two weeks to really keep up here.

I plan on doing a few posts...and I have a follow-up that I really want to get to later today, but posting will be akin to a man actually getting picked up at a bar by a hot chick: Sporadic, pleasantly-surprising, and drunken.

In the meanwhile, please check out Fellow Traveler Siouxsie Law. She's got your fashion tips, outrageous lawsuits, and much more --all from a darker perspective.

When we meet again, on a more semi-regular basis, I'll be a changed man. Until that day, however, let's take it out with some boobies?

Kellie Gardener (Vintage Kellie G)...

Absolutely makes my heart skip a beat.

BTW: This picture is (c) Kellie G.
Please go pay her a visit at
www.vintagekellieg.com
You'll be a better person for it, and her ad revenue will thank you.

-d.s

Say what you will about psychotic, strung-out, Libyan dictator, Qadaffi...

2011-02-28T14:22:00.000-06:00

And, trust me, plenty of people have said some very negative things during his 40 years in power, but one thing cannot be denied.

The man can absolutely pimp up some "crazed/deranged Autocrat" clothing.

This one, by far, is my favorite. Hell, I'd wear that to court.

Part RPG villain/part geometric nightmare from 1987, this bold scarlet and gray design is the shit.

-d.s.

Monday, Monday.

2011-02-28T13:52:00.000-06:00

Not a particularly great one: Through some extreme schmoozing was able to pick up an awesome client over the weekend, thus keeping alive the dream of paying off my student loans, in one lump sum cash payment...

But probably not anytime soon.

On the downside; one of my friend's firms went under on Thursday, on Friday several of my friends were disappointed as a $25bn dollar Boeing plant, and the associated $100 bn boost to the local economy, was submitted to Saint Louis rather than Mobile; on Saturday, found out a homie has MS, and another friend's sig o lost her job.

Add to that the fact that I'm in self-imposed detox (can't chew down Dilaudid 24/7 ya' know).

So, let's just permit Monday's grumpiness to rain down on us like Heaven's fury. In fact, there may even be a song about that...lemme' double check. Yep. There is.

Deicide's Angel of Agony.

Obnoxious. Loud.

Just the way Satan Rock is meant to be.

-d.s.

Absolutely Amazing Comeuppance for the "Fag Bashers"

2011-02-25T19:52:00.001-06:00

So, Westboro Baptist Church (a/k/a "God Hates Fags" fucknuts), claim that Anonymous sent them messages trying to hack the Church, but that the Church and Jesus-H-Christ saved them where Amazon, eBay, Mastercard and Visa failed.

What happens next is pure classic fucking comedy cold. In a confrontation, Anonymous claims that the alleged "attacks" never happened, or were orchestrated by the Phelps Phreaks. Roper-Phelps, the mouthpiece for this vile "religious institution", then claims that nothing, no one...absolutely nothing can silence the church or shut down their words..."

Gotta' really see what happens, beginning at the 2:10 mark

Roper-Phelps "I'm talking to a little Jew guy"

Little Jew Guy "well, your websites are down now..."

Look on face? Classic.

I didn't realize that their version of a sodomy-obsessed, America-loathing, funeral-protesting, fag-hating god was a n00b!

Pwned!!

Seriously, 10 minutes long but a case study in unintended irony, schadenfreude and good ole' fashioned comeuppance. Good job, Anonymous. Again.

-d.s.

The Albuquerque Spooge-Merchant is at it again....

2011-02-25T12:47:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago, I told you the frankly revolting, horrendous story of the Albuquerque deli man who was delivering a little something extra in the yogurt samples passed out to female patrons.

If you don't remember, then let this KRQE report fill you in:

A customer at an Albuquerque supermarket insisted last week that there was something gross in a yogurt sample an employee gave her while she was shopping.

Turns out she was right.

An Albuquerque police source said a Greek yogurt sample a Sunflower Market employee handed a customer was tainted with semen.

"I completely think it is disgusting," one customer said.

"Foul, beyond words," said another customer said walking out of the supermarket on Corrales Road and Alameda in Northwest Albuquerque Friday night.

Police got the test results earlier this week and told News 13 on Friday, the yogurt handed out by Anthony Garcia, 31, during his shift at the supermarket did in fact have semen in it.

"Absolutely disgusting; there is no way to justify that on any level," customer Keith Powell said.

Safest, sanest picture I could find...

Apparently, it wasn't just one isolated incident. After the police did a follow-up, which involved testing the Sunflower's Greek Yogurt, they found a lot more of the guy's little swimmers.

Albuquerque police said DNA tests showed Sunflower Market employee Anthony Garcia gave his semen to a female customer disguised as a free yogurt sample, and police sources said the man may have tried the same thing at a different Sunflower location

There is no way to sugar coat this (poor pun?), but I can't think of anything more revolting than eating a stranger's refrigerated, yogurt-laced semen. Well, I can, but you know what I'm saying...At any rate, welcome to a nice prison sentence for battery, you nasty fucker. And, better hope that one of those ladies doesn't have an unforgiving boyfriend/hubby/Sig O, or you might (justifiably) be beaten within an inch of your life.

That said, the original proclamation stands: I'm done with yogurt.

Come on, baby...let's do a lil' "Greek yogurt"...

-d.s.

Friday: Sanity renewed

2011-02-25T12:34:00.000-06:00

The Shadow had a sucky week, even for a very sucky February. Been dealing with tons of real world issues, fighting a terrible sinus infection, and a busy week at the office.

But, sanity has been restored: Just in time for the weekend and an opportunity to detail my car, and go on a Dragon Age: Origins/Awakening marathon. In other words; relaxation :)

Got some hopefully interesting stuff on the horizon for you today, in the meanwhile, sit back, and enjoy the dulcet tones of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Mercy Seat.

Classic.

-d.s.

Pessimism abounds...

2011-02-21T16:29:00.001-06:00

I'm going to just leave this right here for your consumption....

It's just a simple Malthus Curve, showing the Peak Oil, which it appears that Saudi Arabia has already hit.

Pay attention to this curve, it's going to be important in a second.

So, a new study conducted by some high-minded intellectuals, researchers and scientists in D.C. tell use what we all sorta' secretly fear, and which rightly gives a good number of us pause. We are merely in the deep breath before the plunge. Your world truly is going to hell in a handbasket.

How so, you ask? Well, besides the peak oil dimming the entire global economic machine, reducing entire swaths of the industrial world to an ill-prepared tribalism, we've got some other grim things to ponder...most notable of which is our friend, Malthus, the eccentric and pessimistic 18th century researcher that noted that human population will eventually outstrip food and resource production. That is, population grows geometrically, while supply grows arithmetically.

Take it away, harbingers of doom:

The United Nations has predicted the global population will reach seven billion this year, and climb to nine billion by 2050, "with almost all of the growth occurring in poor countries, particularly Africa and South Asia," said John Bongaarts of the non-profit Population Council.

To feed all those mouths, "we will need to produce as much food in the next 40 years as we have in the last 8,000," said Jason Clay of the World Wildlife Fund at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS).

"By 2050 we will not have a planet left that is recognizable" if current trends continue, Clay said.

The swelling population will exacerbate problems, such as resource depletion, said John Casterline, director of the Initiative in Population Research at Ohio State University.

Told y'all.

What this will create is an entirely bifurcated world of the uber-affluent, and everyone else. The "everyone else", will face extreme resource competition, be that lebensraum, comestibles, Pokemon trading cards, whatever. Then, in some sick fucking Galt's Gulch dystopia, increased militarization and ever-growing corporate hegemony ensues. End result? Total resource war.

We're already seeing the first pawns move in this game. If anyone had any doubts about the strategic importance of Afghanistan for the Baku oil pipeline; the presence of U.S. soldiers in Nigeria's oil fields; the isolation and surrounding of Venezuela --to say nothing of Saudi, Bahrain, UAE, Kuwait and Iraq, well, let me be the first to disabuse you of your naivete. We will be, and have been, the agressor in this global resource grab. And, will, as the report predicts, be the ones to spur the resource wars and global conflicts over ever-scarcer goods.

Prepare to see a lot more of this...

That is not to say that resource wars are the be-all end-all of civilization. In fact, most conflicts are over resources: be that reproduction opportunities, food, land, minerals...whatever. But, peaceniks holding out hope that things will get better? Not a chance. The board is set, the conditions are ripe, and it's time to watch the world burn now, I guess.

Sleep tight.

-d.s.

Monday's got a Malthusian Nightmare....

2011-02-21T11:15:00.000-06:00

Techincally off today, but with depos tomorrow and Wednesday, I thought I'd give a series of stories with grim interconnectedness today: The death of our biosphere, resource wars, overpopulation and general fucked-upness within the next four decades.

Sigh.

In the meanwhile, please enjoy Nuclear Assault's seminal Critical Mass. You could call these guys prototypical New York speed metal/thrash. But, like Slayer and all Devastation and Anthrax and all of the "speed bands" contemporaries, these guys are one short step removed from punk. Even closer, I'd say, since they are overtly political. And damned sure lefty.

Critical Mass addresses all of the things more and more relevant with each passing day, features a dead-sexy Jessica Haun lounging by a refinery, and, because they were pretty serious about lyrics, even has a yellow-bouncy ball for the lyrics.

Good shit. Enjoy.

-d.s.

Awesome Dirty Hippy Irony

2011-02-18T19:46:00.000-06:00

oops. Scratch that.

I had an awesome (IMHO) 1500 word-er on dirty hippy irony. Now, it appears as though my computer has eaten it.

When life hands you lemons, perform anal insertion...it's been that kinda' week. Have a good weekend, and let's hope for just once we can salvage things next week, ok?

I do, dammit. I do...

-d.s.

Awww, hey there little buddy...ARAGRARAGGGGHGHGHGHH!!

2011-02-18T14:04:00.000-06:00

Awww, look at him. His little face, pink noes and cute little ears. Don't you just want to wurzzle him?

I'd advise against it, if I were you, actually. We all know ferrets. The cute little weasels that disaffected stoners always seem to have. They are smart, highly trainable, and, of course, prone to theft...even without encouragement. My best friend and band-mate had one that was trained to steal people's keys, hide them. Then, whilst attention was diverted, would steal their pot. What a great elongated rat.

Seriously, look at his widdle whiskers.

But, that's just what they are, these cut little ferrets. They're weasels. And weasels are nothing more than intelligent, elongated, and cute rats.

And, as we all know, rats can be absolutely vicious when provoked, or hungry. Or, really, for no reason whatsoever, other than the fact they're kind of dicks.

Just like the rat and weasel, ferrets too can have their violent, dickish downside. Case in point, from Missouri (of course)

A 4-month-old baby boy from Grain Valley, Missouri, was in critical condition after a family pet ferret ate seven of the infant's fingers,

The mother was awakened at 2:30 a.m. Monday to her baby's crying, and she awakened her husband with screams upon discovering what happened, Ambrose said.

The dad killed the pet by hurling it across the house, Ambrose said.

The baby now has only two thumbs and a partial pinkie, the chief said. The ferret was about six months old, a police report said.

A necropsy is being performed on the ferret to examine its stomach contents and determine whether the animal had rabies, Ambrose said.

You can't joke about the maiming of a small infant. And, fortunately, things can be done for the child, such as taking the toes, elongating them, and re-attaching them as fingers (would you rather have orthotic shoes or hands?). But, it is once again a reminder that wild animals are just that...wild. We've spent the better part of 35,000 years trying to domesticate the dog, and even then it backfires horribly when they get all wolfy and do what predators are meant to do.

No different from the ferret.

Best just stick with a puppy for now, new parents.

-d.s.

Thursday took a sanity day...

2011-02-17T12:54:00.000-06:00

Personal day today. Been overwhelmed since about December. Going to clear real world things off my plate today, but I'll touch base in a bit with the most ironic thing I've seen in a damned, long time.

For some reason (completely unknown to me), I'm really digging on the Five Finger Death Punch these days. Perhaps because it's what you rarely see anymore: earnest, semi-tolerable, rock and roll.

Doesn't exist much anymore, so when we find it, we should be thankful. The alternative is a world of Gaga and Bieber.

-d.s.

It's a real world Humpday

2011-02-16T14:05:00.000-06:00

In fact, February has been all kinds of chaos. Apologies, etc.

So, rather than just leave you with one mingy little vid, thought I'd try to find something special for you.
Lads and Lasses, Whovians, nerds, sci-fi nerds, Doctor Who fanboys and girls, please enjoy perhaps my favorite full episode of Doctor Who v. 2.0., featuring the incomparable David Tennant's Tenth Doctor and, of course, The Master as played by FANTASTIC John Simm...The Sound of Drums. Followed by the second part, The Last of the Time Lords.

Until tomorrow kids.

Doctor Who 3x12 - The Sound of Drums - TV & Reclame - 123video

Here come the drums, here come the drums

Doctor Who 3x13 - Last of the Time Lords - TV & Reclame - 123video

Bye bye, Master.

Gone, but not forgotten.

-d.s.

Happy Wednesday...

2011-02-15T19:55:00.000-06:00

...yes, I know it's not Wednesday, but this week has been so shitty, I want it gone already. Banished, I say!

I love this one.

Probably b/c of the sweet car, and the fact that she reminds me some of the Fetching Frau Schatten.

-d.s.

Literature time, heathens...

2011-02-15T14:45:00.000-06:00

E. A. Poe is, the contemporary wisdom runs, trite and tired. Played out, played over, and a cliche of a cliche. It's become the introductory reading material of choice for baby bats, and really offers little to the mature reader.

But, I wonder if beyond the macabre short tales, and the ballads,we've truly given Poe a chance lately?

Take a bow, you creepy fucker.

Today, you get that chance. Annabel Lee, one of the more obscure offerings by Edgar, is a masterpiece of understated gloom. Melancholy love, kids. Melancholy love.

It was many and many a year ago,
   In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
   By the name of ANNABEL LEE;--
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
   Than to love and be loved by me.
She was a child and I was a child,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
   I and my Annabel Lee--
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
   Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud by night
   Chilling my Annabel Lee;
So that her high-born kinsman came
   And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
   In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
   Went envying her and me:--
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,
   In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling
   And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
   Of those who were older than we--
   Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in Heaven above,
   Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
   In her sepulchre there by the sea--
   In her tomb by the side of the sea.

-E.A. Poe, 1884

Tuesday's reminescing...

2011-02-15T14:32:00.000-06:00

about club drugs, button-popping sex with my friends, suede, leather, vinyl, the smell of red wine, candles casting flares on dilated pupils, speakers fuzzing and humming and thrumming, bumping into a crowded scene, knowing everyone and liking most of them.

Sigh. Homesick.

I haven't been home, home in a very long time. Went in 2009 for a short visit and in 2008 for a week. But, all things considered, I'm missing people and things and places and familiarity of it all.

Enough of me and my concerns. Hope you all enjoyed your V-Day with your special and/or loved one(s).

Today's ditty is for the long-suffering Fetching Frau Schatten, with whom I shared a pleasant, if low-key evening last night.

Echo and The Bunnymen, "Nothing lasts forever", ladies and gents.

Seriously, they just do not make bands like this anymore.

In fact, I'll be a bit more militant, if you don't like Echo & the Bunnymen, you can go suck a fuck.

-d.s.

So, global warming a new phenomenon?

2011-02-14T12:58:00.000-06:00

Of course not; it's been creeping on us and Gaia since the dawn of Industrialization. Sadly, it's not that we just learned about this in the 1980s either, or for the Gen Y'ers, with Al Gore's An Inconvenient truth.

No, rather, we've known about the effects of man-made emissions on our atmosphere and ecosphere since...hmmm....about 1958.

Check out this video from Raw

Any questions?

-d.s.

Happy Valentine's Day, my lovelies...

2011-02-14T12:03:00.000-06:00

Love is like a red, red rose...and, if you ask Killing Joke, it's also sanguine (and a reminder of our mortality).

Classic band, classic song. If you fools don't have Killing Joke in your auditory arsenal, it's like having to explain who Bauhaus was. And, confession, in the whole classic 80's/90's goth/synthpop genre, these guys always got my vote over The Smiths.

Love Like Blood

So damned good, you deserve the lyrics

We must play our lives like soldiers in the field
But life is short i'm running faster all the time
Strength and beauty destined to decay
So cut the rose in full bloom

'til the fearless come and the act is done
A love like blood, a love like blood

Everyday through all frustration and despair
Love and hate fight with burning hearts
'til legends live and man is god again
(and self-preservation rules the day no more)

We must dream of promised lands and fields
That never fade in season
As we move towards no end we learn to die
Red tears are shed on grey

-d.s.

Happy Friday...

2011-02-11T18:40:00.000-06:00

Enjoy this lovely pinup, Lil Bit, please. She's a combination of both hot and adorable, and --fortunately-- may even come in my size ;)

Awesome!

-d.s.

Voynich Manuscript has a Birthday...

2011-02-11T14:16:00.000-06:00

and, it's about a full century old than anyone thought.

Kegger?

Let me back up for a second. Life is full of conspiratorial nutjobs chasing grumkins and snarks in the shadows, and looking for hidden wisdom and "ancient astronomers"; healing crystals and magic pyramids, where frankly no evidence exists to support these wild claims (like, for instance, unschooling).

But, occasionally, nature or accidents of history churn out something so freaky, so bizarre and mysterious that it begs to be explored.

Such is the case of the Voynich Manuscript.

What is the Manuscript? Good question, no one really knows. And the reason that no one knows is because it describes plants and animals that do not exist, in strange milieus unknown in 15th Century Europe. And, worst of all, is a a language that we cannot read, cannot decipher, yet is incredibly consistent throughout. And, it's illuminated and illustrated.

Looks like Friday at my house...

Let the good ole' Wiki explain the linguistic style of this one:

The text consists of over 170,000 discrete glyphs, usually separated from each other by narrow gaps. Most of the glyphs are written with one or two simple pen strokes. While there is some dispute as to whether certain glyphs are distinct or not, an alphabet with 20–30 glyphs would account for virtually all of the text; the exceptions are a few dozen rarer characters that occur only once or twice each.
Wider gaps divide the text into about 35,000 "words" of varying length.

These seem to follow phonological or orthographic laws of some sort e.g. certain characters must appear in each word (like English vowels), some characters never follow others, some may be doubled or tripled but others may not, etc.

And, the subject matter:

The illustrations of the manuscript shed little light on the precise nature of its text but imply that the book consists of six "sections", with different styles and subject matter. Except for the last section, which contains only text, almost every page contains at least one illustration. Following are the sections and their conventional names:
Herbal
Each page displays one plant (sometimes two) and a few paragraphs of text—a format typical of European herbals of the time. Some parts of these drawings are larger and cleaner copies of sketches seen in the "pharmaceutical" section (below). None of the plants depicted are unambiguously identifiable.

Astronomical
Contains circular diagrams, some of them with suns, moons, and stars, suggestive of astronomy or astrology. One series of 12 diagrams depicts conventional symbols for the zodiacal constellations (two fish for Pisces, a bull for Taurus, a hunter with crossbow for Sagittarius, etc.). Each of these has 30 women figures arranged in two or more concentric bands. Most of the females are at least partly naked, and each holds what appears to be a labeled star or is shown with the star attached by what could be a tether or cord of some kind to either arm. The last two pages of this section (Aquarius and Capricornus, roughly January and February) were lost, while Aries and Taurus are split into four paired diagrams with 15 women and 15 stars each. Some of these diagrams are on fold-out pages.

Biological
A dense continuous text interspersed with figures, mostly showing small naked women bathing in pools or tubs connected by an elaborate network of pipes, some of them clearly shaped like body organs. Some of the women wear crowns.

Cosmological
More circular diagrams, but of an obscure nature. This section also has foldouts; one of them spans six pages and contains a map or diagram, with nine "islands" connected by "causeways", castles, and what may be a volcano.

Pharmaceutical
Many labeled drawings of isolated plant parts (roots, leaves, etc.); objects resembling apothecary jars drawn along the margins; and a few text paragraphs.

Recipes
Many short paragraphs, each marked with a flower- or star-like "bullet".

Pharmacopiea? Madman's rantings? Who knows....

So, know one knows who wrote this tome, what language it's in, why there are plants from the New World in a 15th Century manuscript, much less how cellular anatomy came into play.

But, at least now, thanks to Carbon 14-Isotope dating, we do, in fact, know when it was written: drumroll please....

According to Physorg

University of Arizona researchers have cracked one of the puzzles surrounding what has been called "the world's most mysterious manuscript" – the Voynich manuscript, a book filled with drawings and writings nobody has been able to make sense of to this day.

Using radiocarbon dating, a team led by Greg Hodgins in the UA's department of physics has found the manuscript's parchment pages date back to the early 15th century, making the book a century older than scholars had previously thought. (specifically 1404-1438).

Again, we have no idea what its purpose was, but as one of the Ariz. U profs conjectures, and I think it's just as likely as any other reason:

"The text shows strange characteristics like repetitive word use or the exchange of one letter in a sequence," he says. "Oddities like that make it really hard to understand the meaning."

"There are types of ciphers that embed meaning within gibberish. So it is possible that most of it does mean nothing. There is an old cipher method where you have a sheet of paper with strategically placed holes in it. And when those holes are laid on top of the writing, you read the letters in those holes."

"Who knows what's being written about in this manuscript, but it appears to be dealing with a range of topics that might relate to alchemy. Secrecy is sometimes associated with alchemy, and so it would be consistent with that tradition if the knowledge contained in the book was encoded. What we have are the drawings.

Just look at those drawings: Are they botanical? Are they marine organisms? Are they astrological? Nobody knows."

I'm sticking with alchemy...

Anyway, just an awesome little piece of news about one of the most awesome, mysterious objects on the planet today.

-d.s.

Mysterious Friday

2011-02-11T12:40:00.000-06:00

Let's hear it for "Orphaned Land", an atmospheric powerdoom band hailing from Israel that uses, no shit, Arabic influences/language/musicians in an attempt to reconcile the internecine conflict in that god-forsaken, wind-blown, war-torn hell hole.

Such is the power of music.

I chose Orphaned Land for an entirely different, non-prescient reason, however. I have a story coming up in a bit about a very mysterious object, and it's now-discovered age. Hold tight.

Until then, enjoy Mercy won't you. Not the best sound quality, but the distorted sitar is tits-out awesome.

I really can't think of any music, other than of Persian extraction, which is so mysteriously evocative.

-d.s.

Not all Student-Athletes are televised

2011-02-10T12:56:00.000-06:00

No, Stanford, I'm not talking about your Men's Water Polo. And, no North Carolina, I'm not talking about your Women's Field Hockey.

I'm talking about the other exceptional talents that many kids work on, unheralded, without scholarship, and without the applause and laudatory attention of millions.

I'm talking, specifically, about the well-worn, time-honored drinking game of quarters.

Behold, the most talented such player that has ever slopped tequila down the front of a dirty shirt.

The Michael Jordan/Pele/Tiger Woods of the Booze World.

h/t Spock Jenkins

-d.s.

Thorsday.

2011-02-10T10:35:00.000-06:00

Really, really looking forward to the Thor movie. But, you're gonna' need some background.

I was an odd kid growing up: I was a voracious reader, a comic nerd, a gamer (AD&D holler), in the choir and jazz band, a pretty successful athlete, a hoodlum who spent a record 54 days of suspension in the 11th grade, an honors student, an amateur designer, and -most oddly- a neophyte proselytizer.

See, I wanted to bring back the gods. The very very old gods from Upsala and Thuringia and the Jutland. Of course, not really. What I wanted to see was a world where people worshipped their own gods, ancestral or geographical (fortunately, Neil Gaiman would write a book about this very concept. And, if I need to tell you the name, then...well, nevermind, I'll let you find it on your own).

So, yeah, renaissance kid borne solely from restlessness and heavy drug use. But, the last one has really perservered. I am an atheist personally, but I really do still want to see our friends in France and the UK try to restore some of Angelesly's lost druidical lore. I'd have no problems with our Tuetonic neighbors rearing kids on tales of Asgard and the horrors of Niefelheim. And, specifically, I think it'd be a better world without the covetous, pissy hermit god of the desert holding sway in modern Christianity and Judiasm.

So, yea, really pumped for Thor. Let's have some Viking and Pagan Folk Metal, shall we?

Enslaved, Heidevolk, Korpiklaani, Finntroll, c'mon...what else do you need?

-d.s.

Ready for an infuriating story?

2011-02-09T17:05:00.000-06:00

After a 3000 mile chase, Chief Joseph is ready for anything...

Say hello to Bryan Fischer, Communications and Policy wonk at The American Family Association, a paleolithic Right-wing organization so hard-bit by the crazy, so fundamentally rotten with fascistic Christian racism that it, quite frankly, defies description.

How crazy? How racist? How Christo-fascistic? Let his own words, at the AFA Blog, do the talking

The Amorites, or Canaanite peoples, practiced one moral abomination after another, whether it was incest, adultery, sexual immorality, homosexuality, bestiality or child sacrifice, and God finally said “Enough!”

By the time he brought the nascent nation of Israel to the borders of the land flowing with milk and honey, he had already been patient with the native tribes for 400 years, waiting for them to come to the place of repentance for their socially and spiritually degrading practices.

Hmmm...Sounds good. Please go on, Mr. Fischer.

Okay, Fischer, we get it. You don't like Jews and clearly believe that everything got prior to the ~~theft of Palestine~~ foundation of Israel was on their own heads. But, what the fuck does that have to do with us?

The native American tribes at the time of the European settlement and founding of the United States were, virtually without exception, steeped in the basest forms of superstition, had been guilty of savagery in warfare for hundreds of years, and practiced the most debased forms of sexuality.

Huh?

Many of the tribal reservations today remain mired in poverty and alcoholism because many native Americans continue to cling to the darkness of indigenous superstition instead of coming into the light of Christianity and assimilating into Christian culture.

What?

Sadly, this column will likely generate a firestorm of nuclear proportions among wingers on the left rather than the thoughtful reflection the thesis deserves.

Holy. Shit.

So, now we have clearly deranged, mentally unstable, militant Dominionist, Nazi-clones telling us to give their vile screed "thoughtful reflection". Okay, Fischer, here's the thoughtful reflection you deserve, also from an alleged man of God, Fr. Bartolome De Las Casas, who traveled with the Spanish progenitors of the genocide inflicted on MesoAmerican Indians.

These are the actions of the "enlightening" Christians that Fischer would have us emulate.

And never have the Indians in all the Indies committed any act against the Spanish Christians, until those Christians have first and many times committed countless cruel aggressions against them or against neighboring nations.

We can estimate very surely and truthfully that in the forty years that have passed, with the infernal actions of the Christians, there have been unjustly slain more than twelve million men, women, and children. In truth, I believe without trying to deceive myself that the number of the slain is more like fifteen million.

After the wars and the killings had ended, when usually there survived only some boys, some women, and children, these survivors were distributed among the Christians to be slaves.

These people are the most devoid of rancors, hatreds, or desire for vengeance of any people in the world.

Their reason for killing and destroying such an infinite number of souls is that the Christians have an ultimate aim, which is to acquire gold, and to swell themselves with riches in a very brief time and thus rise to a high estate disproportionate to their merits.

They attacked the towns and spared neither the children nor the aged nor pregnant women nor women in childbed, not only stabbing them and dismembering them but cutting them to pieces as if dealing with sheep in the slaughter house.

They made some low wide gallows on which the hanged victim's feet almost touched the ground, stringing up their victims in lots of thirteen, in memory of Our Redeemer and His twelve Apostles, then set burning wood at their feet and thus burned them alive.

They made a grid of rods which they placed on forked sticks, then lashed the victims to the grid and lighted a smoldering fire underneath, so that little by little, as those captives screamed in despair and torment, their souls would leave them.

So, Mr. Fischer, we've been down this road before. We've seen what happens when we yield to the temptation of "assimiliation" and the cheap murderous, totalitarian thrills of a "Christian Nation".

Please, die horribly, painfully and slowly now.

Perhaps by being given to priests?

-d.s.

Wednesday's got a confession....

2011-02-09T12:17:00.000-06:00

...not big into Hellecktro. Or Cybergoth. Or Aggrotech. Always been more of a fan of the subdued stuff. Blacks (sans neon), grays, lace, extravagance in layering. Classic, Victorian gothic...or, as I like to call them, pretty things.

The CG thing always struck me as an aesthetically unpleasant chic, and no where is it more unpleasant to me than in the musical scene it begat. I'm not bagging on it...just not my thing, and there are a couple of bands I do dig.

But, my confession is this: Suicide Commando does the shit well. Very Well. And I groove on him.

This track, "See you in Hell", is the stuff of nightmares. Do not watch this while alone or on drugs.

Suicide Commando's "See You in Hell"

Soundtrack for the post-Apocalypse gloom-merchants.

h/t DJ Darkest Peru for turning me on to this so many years ago.

-d.s.

Well, that was weird as hell

2011-02-08T15:12:00.000-06:00

For some reason, Ping.fm decided that it wanted to cross-post my Tweets as well.

Note to self: Do not monkey around with these cross-dev apps.

Just to make up for that, I'll show you my present favorite Pinup...just cute as hell :)

So, ummm, if anyone's looking for a paralegal gig in Hawaii, please submit a resume like the above.

-d.s.

2011-02-08T14:28:00.001-06:00

Very important case RT @invcondemnation: More on HAWICA: construction defects are not occurrences covd under insurance http://deck.ly/~AnJkg

2011-02-08T14:20:00.003-06:00

RT @hawaiicourts: Testimony on HB1476 re trying minors as adults in murder cases http://bit.ly/i0kWt1

2011-02-08T14:20:00.001-06:00

RT @hawaiicourts: Testimony on HB1476 re trying minors as adults in murder cases http://bit.ly/i0kWt1

Something much, much better than "Some eCards"

2011-02-08T13:36:00.000-06:00

Don't get me wrong, I love me Some eCards. Absolutely do.

And, with good reason...

But, sometimes, you're up for more of the macabre, and less of the clever.

To those people seeking a darker bent to their careless e-Card habit, I present Wrongcards.com.

Here are a few of my faves.

So, similar vein, a bit darker content, and without the iconic Victorian images. But, I think you'll be able to find something for that not-so-special, or specially twisted, person in your life.

2011-02-08T12:49:00.001-06:00

You mainlanders really don't know what you're missing RT @HIBigIsland: Lovely Waipio..... http://fb.me/Km7y5A8m

2011-02-08T12:47:00.001-06:00

As if you couldn't hear it this morning peeps RT @Hawaii247: High surf advisory for West Hawaii until 6 p.m. http://t.co/3yR9th1

2011-02-08T12:42:00.001-06:00

Thats how i feel about my women! RT @TWEsq: @BigIslandLaw @bamabecky ugh, no whites for me, thanks

2011-02-08T11:52:00.001-06:00

Truth RT @Charlemagne3983: Guy in front of me at bbq joint ordered ham and cheese sandwich. failorder

2011-02-08T09:53:00.001-06:00

Just thought of the only way to make the Midwest cool: roaming bands of gypsy caravans. Imagine the possibilities.

2011-02-08T09:28:00.001-06:00

And conversely has done worse with more RT @JasonIsbell: No matter how bad you think your upbringing was, someone has done more with worse.

2011-02-08T09:27:00.003-06:00

Amen RT @69eyesofficial: Tuesday is the new Monday. J69

2011-02-08T09:27:00.001-06:00

Modern civil reprise of the Burning Times RT @NEENZ: No sparks but plenty of paper: Church targets Wiccans for conversion http://om.ly/BMMVd

Cartoon Characters I Want To Sleep With: Esmeralda.

2011-02-08T09:10:00.000-06:00

My unrequited love of ethnic women knows no boundaries: Tatars, Turks, Ukranians, Lebanese, Greek, Rus, Eastern Europeans of varying unidentifiable ethnicity, and -of course- the Roma.

Better known as "Gypsies" to the uninitiated, these stateless citizens are found in exceptionally high concentration in Bulgaria, Romania, France, and anywhere else they won't be prosecuted (as has historically been the case).

I could rail about the injustice done to the Roma (and perhaps I should, one day); however, now is not the time. Suffice it to say that lord, there are some beautiful Roma women in these insular conclaves.

Ms. Romania, for instance...

Sadly, cartoon versions of the lovely refugees of Eastern Europe are few and far between. To our Western eyes, we'd recognize very few of them. In fact, I can only (off the top of my head) immediately name one, but she is a doozy: Esmeralda from Disney's bastardization of Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Seriously, what's not to like about this....

Easily the most buxom Disney character, Esmeralda rocks some billowing peasant skirts/blouses, diving cleavage, and has the best coiffure this side of Jasmine. As with all Disney ethnic characters, they do make her a darker hue, with decidedly Anglo features (right down to the green eyes). But, if you look at Ms. Romania above, it actually works this time.

And, easily amenable to CosPlay!

Besides being the prototypical "type" what else does Esmeralda have going for her? Well, the first and foremost thing in her camp, is the unapologetic "Gyspy-ness" of the character; tinkerers, street performers, artisans, diviners, and pole dancers.

What? Pole Dancers?

Easily the most Sex-centric thing Disney has ever pulled, Esmeralda has a famous "pole dance" scene in Hunchback, programming children to accept their fate in smokey bars, over-priced drink in hand, shoving ones down stripper thongs...

Seriously, Disney. What the fuck?

Naturally, such a sensual character hearkens lust, desire, and a not-inconsequential amount of day-dreaming (including me). And, the best part is, unlike some quite frankly baffling tribute art, the Esmeralda smutty tribute art, actually works this time.

Including, what I am certain might be statutory offenses in America....

Good ole Jasmine, Esmerelda's got the cure for what ails ya...

Of course, some are slightly more...baffling...

A bit more aquatic and spiny than I like in my women, but...

And, then there are some that just take Quasimodo's lusts to their natural plateau...

Seriously, be glad that I cropped this one...

So, let's give a hand to the most sumptuous, overtly-sexual Disney character yet: Esmeralda. The Roma cum cracker that turned a thousand heads, and gave hundreds of little boys strange feelings in the movie theatre. It's not often that Disney gets one right --and I'm not sure this was intentionally correct, so much an accident of morphology-- but this time, they did.

While I am certain Victor Hugo is rolling over in his grave, Disney hasn't exactly made it's living with faithful reproductions...

-d.s.

Tuesday: Blasted by nostalgia.

2011-02-08T08:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday's 1984 redux from Motorola got my fragile psyche prepared for sandblasting by nostalgia. And, for some reason, this morning the only thing I could really think about was Coke's epic (and epically creepy) Max Headroom.

Such a hit was Max, the disembodied, assholish, talking head, that he got his own talk show (and featured prominently on others).

So, chilluns' of the 80s, enjoy some Max Headroom, on "How to be Macho", with --holy shit!-- Pat Benatar's Love is a Battlefield. It does not get more throw-back than that, short of the Smurfs wrestling Voltron for the rights to choose which Styx song to play on the Walkman.

There is a reason all of we Gen Xers are completely fucked in the head...

-d.s.

I'm done with yogurt...and so are you.

2011-02-07T18:35:00.000-06:00

Oh, just the act of physically swallowing.

No reason. None whatsoever.

Der Schatten has long been put off mayonnaise. Now, it seems, that I must be done with yogurt.

According to the Smoking Gun,

A 28-year-old victim was shopping with her daughter in the store’s cereal aisle when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store’s dairy department. After accepting Garcia’s offer of a yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and, cops reported, “said it tasted like ‘semen.’”

In a handwritten statement, the woman said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman recalled that when she talked to manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”

The woman paid for her groceries and returned home, where she told her boyfriend about the incident. She told of how Garcia had “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how taste it.” The woman and her boyfriend eventually returned to the market, where they summoned police.

I wish I were kidding. A woman is approached by a dirty hippie in a Farmer's Market, with a puddle of goo and told "eat it" "eat it". And, she does. Despite the fact she has no idea what it is (beyond what's she told), that the guy only has one sample (pardon the pun), and that she's in front of her daughter, and is meant to be a role model of positive, responsible behavior.

So, what does she do?

She eats the shit, naturally.

As much as I wish ill on any psychopathic asshat that does this to folks, you have to think that deep down, way in our visceral past, that people like this --the ones that ate the strange mushrooms-- were the very ones that didn't live to reproduce and spread stupidity genes. Ah, the modern society, thwarting Darwinism for 160 years, eh?

Anyway, if you'd like some horrifying reading materials, please check out the pdf (also from Smoking Gun), of the complaint sworn out to form the basis of the warrant. Disgusting.

Enjoy your Taco Bell "queso"

-d.s.

1984 all over again...

2011-02-07T14:17:00.000-06:00

Apple, back in the day (1984, to be exact), used to be the upcomer, the challenger to the brown-boxed IBMs and Commodores (gray, natch) that dominated the nascent home-computing market.

They insisted on being different. Demanded that the sheeple break free from the 5'14" floppies, and, well...think different. How different? They went so far as to blast the PC/IBM hegemony with the now-classic 1984 ad below.

That was then...

Flash forward two decades, where Apple completely dominates the portable music market, has revolutionized SmartPhones, and -with the introduction of the iPad-- now holds a commanding 75% market share for tablets (on top of it's 11% and growing desktop market).

Imagine my surprise then, when I saw this lil ad streaming on the twitter feed last night for the Superbowl.

..This is now.

The product is the Motorola Xoom, an $800 competitor to the ubiqituous iPad (also pushing 8 big ones). And, this time, it's the lil' upstart being portrayed as the hegemon; the enslaver of the masses. Not too sure how Motorola, of all people, can claim to be the little guy. But, what's good for the goose here back in the days of Reagan and Yuppie douches, is just as good today, in the era of a black president and Hipster douches.

-d.s

Monday, same as a Sunday...

2011-02-07T06:43:00.000-06:00

Shadow didn't get a whole lot of quality hang-out time this weekend. Saturday was spent preparing for/dealing with people coming to view his condo. While Sunday....

Sheesh. Sunday.

Sunday began pretty nasty with a true night terror: Waking paralysis, horrendous visual content bleeding into reality, etc. I have them about 3-4 times a year...on top of my weekly nightmares and sleepwalking. This one, comparatively speaking, I'll give an 8.3 to - Not enough to truly derail me for days, but enough to ruin Sunday.

And, even after I recovered yesterday, I nevertheless spent a full work day getting caught up at the office. So, yea, Monday has gotta' be a lil' better.

Which brings me to today: German Goth-Industrial DeathStars, with "Razor End". This is absolutely 100% free of anything resembling commercial influence. Purity? Yea, you could say this. For a nice change of pace --from anything really-- check these guys out...

~~DeathStars~~ ~~Razor End~~ Vidéo My-Goth sélectionnée dans Musique

Yep, pretty much the soundtrack to my nightmares...

-d.s.

Happy 1000th Post, Kari Byron

2011-02-04T18:58:00.000-06:00

Thanks Kari...We've been through a lot.

This is Shadow's 1000th post here since Jan of '09. Without a doubt, the most highly sought after, trafficked-for content involves Ms. Kari Byron.

It's not pervy if it's in the name of science.

During that time, I've posted a lot of Hot Nerd Girls, a few gothic chicks, and a not-insubstantial amount of pinups. But, of the hundreds of lovely ladies, Kari Byron continues to capture the imagination (and SEO) of thousands of folks daily...that lil' popular post thing over to your left is reset weekly. the middle and bottom changes, but the top always remains the same.

C'mon...like you wouldn't watch her butt scan?

For those of you who came for Kari, but stuck around for the insanity and randomness, danke. For those who came for Kari, danke. Just remember, that as awesomely hot as she is, Ms. Byron also wields some impressive nerd-entials. It's the brain that counts, and the sense of humor. Long after we've all aged, and wrinkled, and (for some) gone on to whatever awaits, those are the things that are important.

But, until then...we can all agree that her in a silver bikini is pretty awesome!

-d.s.

Fuckin' Hilarious...

2011-02-04T13:42:00.000-06:00

Hat Tip to multiple, multiple sources. Damnyouautocorrect.com

Autocorrect. Awesome.

If you struggle with your iPhone's autocorrect feature (and, let's be honest, we all do), then you know that this particular "feature" very often results in far more gaffes, socially-awkward moments, and tersely embarassed apologies of anything this side of drunk dialing. Words pop up in permutations that make you look like a madman. However, even worse, is Autocorrect's apparent fixation with Anal and Dildos...as the program substitutes your word choices freely for things of a scatological nature.

Go pay them a visit, minions. But, for now, please enjoy some excerpts of truly laugh-till-you-cry/piss yourself-funny texting FAIL.

Hope that got your weekend off to a great start.

-d.s.

Fridays On Fire....

2011-02-04T12:43:00.000-06:00

Not as much as this OUTSTANDING 15 year old. Haunting voice, incredibly gifted already, and --to top it all off-- covering the incomparable Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".

H/T Leanne Rose.

-d.s.

Lookie who posted about a celebrity...

2011-02-03T14:26:00.000-06:00

I know, not normally my bag. But, I must say, this is pretty damned amusing.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

via Funny or Die. H/T JoshuaNotYoshua.

Not really a Lohan fan, and never really saw the appeal in her. However, there's something about the little ingenue in her in this videa that A) is pretty hot, and B) gives her mad, mad props for making fun of her constantly-rotating relationships.

Okay, I apologize. You are hot in a dirty sort of way...and surprisingly funny.

-d.s.

Stop me if you've heard this one before....

2011-02-03T13:16:00.000-06:00

Getting tree-gnawing crazier by the day...

Arizona: Come for the stultifying Tea Partiers, stay for the on-going constitutional violations.

Oh boy. Arizona, the land that time forgot and progenitor of some sincerely crazy-ass right wing notions (the Gestapo-esque, 'show me your papers', "immigration" law being only the most recent), has outdone themselves in a big, big way.

Specifically, with a state law it intends to pass which permits the State to ignore or violate Congressional laws.

Huh?

Haven't we heard this one before? If only I could remember....

Oh yea, that's it...

Specifically, the law does the following/is premised upon the following:

"The committee shall recommend, propose and call for a vote by simple majority to nullify in its entirety a specific federal law or regulation that is outside the scope of the powers delegated by the People to the federal government in the United States Constitution," the bill reads. "The committee shall make its recommendation within thirty days after receiving the federal legislation for consideration and process."

According to the bill, "no authority has ever been given to the legislative branch, the executive branch or the judicial branch of the federal government to preempt state legislation."

I don't even know where to begin with this. Since our nation was proto-founded nearly 400 years ago, we've had this go around several times before. Whether it was Massachussets threatening to leave, or Maryland threatening to secede, or South Carolina actually seceding, or the failed Articles of Confederation, the battle for the hearts and minds of states' rights has been a consistent tension in our Nation.

This whole notion, though, smacks of some shit that eerily led to one War, one Reconstruction, and violent, phasic enforcement of Federal law for the benefit of some state citizens.

Again, we've seen this before. For the uninitiated, that's Alabama Gov. George Wallace with the proverbial "stand in the schoolhouse door". That "door" is really the old Coliseum, where my grad office was housed. I'll show you a pic of me in front of the plaque one day.

Simply put, States have long contended that they have the right to abnegate/ignore Federal legislation that gores one axe or another. Be it over slavery, integration, or now -immigration and Obama's 'socialism'- it all comes back to one very vile fact, that says terrible things about us: At its heart, the states' righters have racist, fevered imaginings of a better Ur; one founded on the "right people".

Fortunately, it's a settled issue. As if the Civil Rights turmoil of the 50s-70s didn't address it, and as though the Civil War didn't settle it, it's always been the case, that States cannot circumvent or cherry-pick laws they do not like or do not wish to enforce.

As for Arizona's contentions that "no authority has ever been given to the legislative branch, the executive branch or the judicial branch of the federal government to preempt state legislation", well, that's just plain fucking silly.

In fact, I think there is a long-standing document that specifically addresses this twat-tarded idea...if only I could remember.

Oh yea...that's it.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Read that last clause carefully.

-d.s

Thursday apologizes

2011-02-03T12:24:00.000-06:00

Apparently, the posts I pre-drafted never came up yesterday. Including, sadly, the Imbolc greetings to one and all.

Imbolc, or St. Brigit's Day, marks the traditional waxing into spring for neo-druids/neo-pagans, and the like. Halfway between Solstice and the Equinox, it's a pretty important day, even here in the States.

Huh? Silly superstition, stupid pagan nonsense some would say. True that may be, but why do we still recognize the importance of its arrival in the Western, non-Imbolc sphere?

Ever heard of Groundhog Day?

Anyway, for my witchy kin and kith, happy Nos Gwyl Fair Imbolc

Wednesday got back on track...

2011-02-02T07:00:00.001-06:00

...thank god. Tons of fights with "real world" entities; wrote two briefs in a day-and-a-half, and have been trying to run 5 mediations/arbitrations while preparing for a March Wedding and two May trials.

Der Schatten is overworked, undersexed, and grossly underpaid.

Still, I'll take that over the alternative: Underworked, unpaid and non-sexed.

Not that it's relevant to you and I, but last evening we watch the follow up to PBS's 1991 "Dancing Outlaw" (Jesco White), a fascinating, and frankly touching documentary about the rest of the Mountain folk and the White family specifically. Got me in the mood for some dark, dark bluegrass.

If this doesn't bring the fear of god into ya', nothing will...

Dr. Ralph Stanley's evocative "O' Death".

My great granny used to sing this us when I was a wee kid in North Carolina.

American Gothic, yo.

Stay warm, America...

2011-02-01T17:47:00.000-06:00

Image via Nasa

Seriously, this some Old Testament, get-all-smite-y, wrath of God shit descending on you mainlanders. Stay warm & be safe.

I'll just sit and suffer in 88 degree weather, sunshine and perfect nights.

J/K...I spent 6 years in Iowa, Nebraska and South Dakota. I'm entitled to shudder (and taunt) from afar.

-d.s.

"Vampyre," "Satanist", Rebublican...

2011-02-01T12:21:00.000-06:00

One of these things is not like the other....

Then again, maybe so.

Just when I have renewed faith in humanity, we get the story of Jonathan Tepes Sharkey "The Impaler". A crytpo-"vampyre" and admitted "Satanist", you gotta' admit, he doubles his selfish douche factor right there. If there were any doubt about emotionally stunted, emotionally 15 year-olds, then "satanists" and people who truly believe that they can partake of the sanguine arts are right up there.

Yep, seems mature to me.

I usually have no problem with people who want to run around and claim they are actually vampires (correct spelling, yo), claiming that they are acolytes of Hecate, She of the Three Ways, and profess their love for the primal selfishness and inner id within (talkin' to you, "satanists"). However, when they interject themselves into our lives and the public sphere, then we've got beef.

Specifically, Mr. Sharky (no, I'm not calling you the 'fucking impaler'...Nicknames have to be earned, not self-selected, twaddle merchant), is running for President of these United States.

Oh, yes, you heard me correct.

As you'd expect from a self-centered, megalomaniac, Mr. Sharkey is, of course, a Republican. However, given his alleged "Satanism", I'd definitely think Libertarian would be right up his alley. What, then, does someone who professes his love of wrasslin', blood-drinking, and impalement base his platform upon?

Well, let's say that he's certainly not soft on crime.

“‘Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled,’ said Sharkey. ‘Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I’ll beat them, torture them, dismember them and decapitate them.’

Interesting position for a man to take who's been imprisoned, ran out of jurisdictions and the like for statutory sexual relationships that verge on the pedophilic...

Sharkey has drawn jail time, probation, and controversy over the years for his relationships with women—and the legal system of numerous states, as we've recently reported. "Let's just say I prefer to sink my fangs into younger women," he told us. And his recent YouTube proposal has touched a nerve.

Where I come from, Sharkey, pedophiles are the ones who get tortured, castigated and murdered...even in prison. When a rapist or serial murderer considers your ilk beneath contempt, time to re-evaluate.

Suffice it to say, I'm not at all impressed by a dumpy, balding, egomaniacal scumbucket who preys on 16 year old girls, and -in all other respects- shapes his other decisions for shameless self-promotion of deluded schlock and juvenile trash. It takes damn more than self-serving motivation and half-assed literacy to run for anything other than a 5K.

And, the worst part about this is that true practitioners of alternative faiths, and those with a fashionista towards Dark Victorian and Romanti-goths will be ultimately tarnished by this. Hell, even Anton LaVey is rolling over in his grave right now: Anton was banging Jayne Mansfield and this twat is exploiting children? In all respects this a lose-lose proposition.

So, no, Mr. Sharkey, you're unfit for civil society, unfit to lead, and unfit to be trusted beyond the boundaries of your imminent ankle-collar.

Truth is a bitch.

So, ummm, no. Not voting for ya'.

Tuesday's gotta' do better.

2011-02-01T09:58:00.001-06:00

Yesterday may have been one of the least explicable days in my life. 'Real life intrudes' does not do it justice, as Monday turned from merely bad into potentially one of the most stressful days of my adult life.

As usual, Pete & the Bums from Staten Island nail it...

Type O Negative's "I don't wanna' be me (anymore)"

For what it's worth, I still can't believe Peter Steele is dead. His absence has left a void in the music world. Certainly not a hero or a role model (hell, probably not even a decent guy), but he brought something to the table sadly missing --originality and earnestness.
October Rust remains one of my five favorite albums, without a doubt.

-d.s.

How did Monday let this happen?

2011-01-31T11:32:00.000-06:00

Somehow, between working all day Saturday, and dicking off on Sunday, I walked into the office with full-blown panic....way too much to do today for comfort.

Regrets? Yea, a few. Speaking of which, please enjoy the classic Peaceville band, Anathema. Along with their label-mates, My Dying Bride, they set the standard by which all 90s British despondent music is judged by.They began as typical doom, but moved to Rock'n'Sad/Prog stuff (a la Canaan).

This one is one of their more subdued offerings, but still wonderful.

Anathema, "Regret"

"As I drift away... far away from you,
I feel all alone in a crowded room,
Thinking to myself
"There's no escape from this
fear
regret
loneliness...""

-d.s.

Your Country is Fucked: America. All of it.

2011-01-28T12:32:00.000-06:00

Just a tease; just a tease. This not truly a "Your Country is Fucked", not really, in the sense that it includes painstaking, meticulous research.

Rather it's just a quick hitter to show each and every one of you, from no matter whence you hail, that not only is our entire country fucked, but the constituent parts thereof --even if taken in individual portions-- still represent their own unique font of suck, with varying degrees of fucked.

Awesome, I was born in the State with the Lowest teaching salaries, but was raised largely in the States with Highest deaths by motorcycle, Highest incidents of Stroke, and Highest HIV/AIDS rate. I was educated in Stroke-land, and the Most Corrupt, and Rape-iest States.

Professionally, I have worked in Strokes-ville, Most Sickly, Most Obese, and Rape-iest States. Also representing are Highest incidences of women-beating and the Oldest states.

I am presently employed, and loving, the State with the Highest Cost of Living.

(play along, it's fun).

-d.s.

Friday gives you true gothic metal...

2011-01-28T12:17:00.000-06:00

An oft-tossed out phrase, for a genre that is already ill-defined, but --much like Potter Stewart's pronouncements on pornography-- you know it when you see it...

And, boils and ghouls, Tristania frankly fits that bill. This little ditty is off of the latter "Ashes". However, their better albums, to these ears at least, have to be the earlier, "Widows Weeds", "World of Glass", and especially, "Beyond the Veil".

See you peeps soon, until then, enjoy. Won't you?

-d.s.

Happy Fappin' Thursday

2011-01-27T19:15:00.000-06:00

Good lord, that should be criminal...

-d.s.

Lowest Common Denominator: Part One

2011-01-27T09:00:00.000-06:00

Morning folks (hell, it's even morning on the East Coast....so, hello, my fine Yankee friends). Anyway, just thought I'd do something a bit different, or -like so many of my projects- at least make a yeoman's attempt.

This joint has been around now since 2006, and as a stand-alone since 2008. I thought therefore that I'd try and hit the highpoints. It seems as though I'm getting about 6000-8000 hits per day (shiiiiiit, I should monetize this, but then the Bar would be all up in my business, and copyright issues would pop up, and I really don't want to make money anyway...I just want to vent/rant.). In that spirit, I can't fully expect you to trawl through 900+ posts and look for the good shit.

That's like finding the one non-pedophile, sexually normative Catholic priest: You can try, but it will be painful, time-consuming, and can lead to rectal itch.

Let's call it a worst of, then, shall we..or, really, a smattering of what goes on in these here parts? On to Part: The First

My long-standing crusade against TASERs and the militarization of police.
The first Hot Nerd: Stephanie Courtney a/k/a Flo from the Progressive commercials.
Challenging the notion that conservative play-calling yields fewer points
The Lotus Enema Toilet...oddly, this page is still one of the 10 most viewed pages on this site, all-time and most weeks. WTF?!
The Bristol Poo Chart!
One of the most horrific stories you'll ever read.
Oh, ho. American Gothic, indeed.
The first "Fucked" Country (Incidentally, I'm about 30 countries into it...just 190 left!)
Who doesn't love a lawyer joke?

-d.s.

Thursday may have had Captain Trips

2011-01-27T08:30:00.000-06:00

Got sick as a fucking dog yesterday, but as soon as it hit me, it was over.

Then, Kleph, tweeted about an industrial accident at, and subsequent lockdown of, a biological/chemical weapons base in Utah.

I therefore believe on the basis of no evidence whatsoever that it was Captain Trips.

Anyway, got something different on tap for you today, and over the next couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy it.

-d.s.

Something to offend everyone...

2011-01-26T09:51:00.000-06:00

I don't know how I missed this, the Jesus is a Jerk Tumblr. Needless to say, it is probably one of the funniest, yet wholly inappropriate places on the web.

Pay them a visit, or play along, but, in the meanwhile check out some of this...and, yes, you're going to Hell...

h/t Coastal Cowbell.

Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: P-T

2011-01-26T09:21:00.000-06:00

Alas, we are reaching the end of the Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures; those items for the discerning Goth-Professional, all priced at or under $30. I've tried to hit all phases of the milieu: clothing, accessories, liquor, smokes, beauty, sex toys, hair dyes, entertainment etc, just things to pamper yourself or a loved one.

So, let's get to it, shall we, featuring the last of the non-difficult letters of the alphabet. In the meanwhile, A-D is here; while E-J lurks in these shadows; and you can unearth K-O by going to this crypt.

~~Patricia Day~~ Punkabilly Barbie

It's what I get for hooking up with a psychobilly chick. Predictably, the Horrorpops are one of her all-time favorite bands...

I do not own this doll; nor does the long-suffering Fetching Frau Schatten own this. However, her birthday is coming up, and I fully intend to purchase this item for her. Technically it's just a "rocker" Barbie (tm). However, it does not take too much imagination (or eyesight) to see that this was modeled after the Horrorpops' Patricia Day. So much so, in fact, that the lovely Mrs. Nekroman sued Mattel over it. Get it at TIAS.com for exactly $30, before it's the subject of a permanent injunction.

Nope, no resemblances there.

~~Not even down to the hearts and blue birds...~~

QNTAL:

Simply stated, if you've never heard Qntl, you're missing out on some of the loveliest darkwave this side of Faith and the Muse. Hailing from Germany, this medieval electronica evokes spanning shires, a quiet sexiness, and -- especially for that softer side in you, or for that special lady in your life -- is some of the most "feminine" gothic music being made today.

Entre moi et mon amin.

Be prepared for a linguistic warm-up, though, silly Americans. They are damned lingual, with tracks in High German, French, Latin, Italian and English. It's also very hard to find in most cities, but can be purchased/located at Euro Amazon for about $16 Euros ($27) per album.

Rick R. Reed

Der Schatten knows that not all of you are purely hetero-normative. That's cool. Not my thing, but then again, unless I'm the fuckee, whomever folks choose to share their genitals with is actually pretty banal fare. And, just because one swings for the fences or sword fights, doesn't mean that a lil' dungeon play can't be added to spice up your sex life/inner fantasy.

To that end, I give you Rick R. Reed, probably the most well-known of the Gay BDSM authors out there. But, oh no, it's not just kink. The man is the Stephen King/Barker of Gay Kink Horror (although, I think the comparison to Thomas Harris is probably more apt).

Obssessed, Available at Abebooks for about $25 w/shipping, is by far the darkest one.

"I kill, therefore I am Voices slam through the corridor of his wounded mind. The words of his dead sister cry out."

Seven Samurai (Collector's Edition)

Akira Kurosawa's 1954 masterpiece, and deservedly one of the top 100 films of all-time, Seven Samurai is like the Bible...you cannot be truly culturally literate until you've spent three hours meditating upon the bygone feudal Japan, from the mindset of a post-war Japanese director. Comradery, honor, bravery, and protecting weaker for nothing more than a little food, and the knowledge of a job well-done. It doesn't get much better than this.

$22.99 at eBay.
Or, instant queue with your Netflix Subscription.

Tramadol

The wonder drug that works wonders. Technically a non-opiate painkiller, it is very effective in that role. For those dealing with chronic pains, aches, nagging issues, you can't beat it. It's non-sedating, non-euphoric (usually), and possesses an exceptionally low dependency threshold.

Even better, it's got some nice off-label uses as well; particularly for anxiety, depression (one of the metabolites is an SSRI), and restless leg syndrome. At peak plasma level it also provides a sound night's sleep.

Best part? It's not a controlled substance. You can buy this shit off the internet for about $27/monthly supply (do your own Google searches, people!).

Better living through chemistry....

We'll wrap it up next week, folks. Until then, consume!

Wednesday is for Whimsy...

2011-01-26T08:08:00.000-06:00

Had a dream last night about that horrific, fascist trope "Enders Game". I don't care whether it's clever Hitler Apologia or whether it's means justifying the ends, non-Rawlsian utility arguments, it remains one of the most overrated, frankly frightful, books of the past quarter century.

Rather than dwell on the horrors of tortured kids engaging in morally "acceptable", first-strike, galactic genocide, let's have some whimsy, eh.

I can't think of anyone more whimsical than Germany's Knorkator.

Ok, this isn't terribly whimsical; still, don't underestimate the power of top-shelf Euro-trash industrial to start your day with a stiffy.

Bonus: Headbanging, mitten-wearing, Tuetonic Pianist!

-d.s.

For no particular reason...

2011-01-25T16:06:00.000-06:00

The death of my favorite American city, New Orleans, produced a series of calamities. Among them were already-destitute people reduced to looting grocery stores to survive.

Obviously not all looting was condoned or necessary. But, sometimes it can be morally justified. That said, here are some random images after the fact of people trying to protect what they acquired in this dystopia in our borders, and on our own coastline.

Again, no reason particularly. Just got to thinking about the complacency and mind-fucking incompetence that let a city of a million people die.

-d.s.